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Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it??? -
12-08-2006, 04:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
I know what you're talking about. The whole water into wine thing, I know. Any skilled magician can perform that trick.
But, my apologies, when I thought you meant 'invented', not 'made'. It's friday afternoon, I'm tired and have a migraine.
But it still doesn't change the fact that bourbon is not the same as wine. Wine is made from crushed grapes. Bourbon is made from corn mash. Saying that the two are the same is like saying that ketchup and mayonnaise are the same.
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Praise Jesus! Once again He has seen fit to smite you with a painful migrane. Perhaps if you spent less time mocking Jesus He might go easier on you, harlot.
Every country and culture has its own version of wine. The greasy Italians and homer french have ruined grape wine for us all. So Jesus currently prefers the American version. Praise His Sweet Blood.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it??? -
12-08-2006, 05:09 AM
You can't change the facts. In order for it to actually be considered wine, it needs to be made from grapes. Bourbon is not, and cannot be considered wine. Nothing can change that!
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it??? -
12-08-2006, 05:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
You can't change the facts. In order for it to actually be considered wine, it needs to be made from grapes. Bourbon is not, and cannot be considered wine. Nothing can change that!
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Mrs Van Spitbottle, let me assure you that the definition for 'wine' is just as flexible as the definition for 'The Constitution of the United States of America'.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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On Extended Furlough
True Christian™
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Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it??? -
12-08-2006, 05:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
Actually Sister, I was talking about your girls.
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Pastor, I do hope I misunderstand, and you're not talking about BTB's Double-Ds. Hopefully, she has daughters?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
You can't change the facts. In order for it to actually be considered wine, it needs to be made from grapes. Bourbon is not, and cannot be considered wine. Nothing can change that!
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I must agree with the heathen. Wine's wine. Brandy is concentrated wine. Bourbon is neither wine nor concentrated wine.
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it??? -
12-08-2006, 05:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by OnYourKnees
Pastor, I do hope I misunderstand, and you're not talking about BTB's Double-Ds. Hopefully, she has daughters?
DAUGHTERS! Yes, of course! Her daughters! But....ummmm Sister Thumper isn't old enough to have children is she?
I must agree with the heathen. Wine's wine. Brandy is concentrated wine. Bourbon is neither wine nor concentrated wine.
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I must assign you a hundred new demerits for agreeing with a Heathen!
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member
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Location: Red Peking
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Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it??? -
12-08-2006, 05:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by OnYourKnees
I must agree with the heathen. Wine's wine. Brandy is concentrated wine. Bourbon is neither wine nor concentrated wine.
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Exactly my point. Glad at least one person can see it!
Quote:
I must assign you a hundred new demerits for agreeing with a Heathen!
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That's a little mean, Pastor Al. It was a perfectly valid point!
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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On Extended Furlough
True Christian™
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Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it??? -
12-08-2006, 06:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Exactly my point. Glad at least one person can see it!
That's a little mean, Pastor Al. It was a perfectly valid point!
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And if you scroll to the beginning of the thread, you'll see SHE was agreeing with ME.
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it??? -
12-08-2006, 06:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by OnYourKnees
And if you scroll to the beginning of the thread, you'll see SHE was agreeing with ME.
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And another hundred for doing SOMETHING! I'm not sure what, but you should know better!
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it??? -
12-08-2006, 12:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
You can't change the facts. In order for it to actually be considered wine, it needs to be made from grapes. Bourbon is not, and cannot be considered wine. Nothing can change that!
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Typical atheist doublespeak. When the facts don't fit, make things up and insist your'e right.
Jap wine is made from rice. It's called Sake. Ever heard of apple wine? Dandelion wine? In Greece they make godawful swill out of pine needles called Retsina. No grapes. In Georgia they make peach wine. In California they make strawberry wine. No grapes.
So shut up, you empty-headed female. Go fetch me a sandwich!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
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Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it??? -
12-08-2006, 12:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
And another hundred for doing SOMETHING! I'm not sure what, but you should know better!
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You seem a little on edge, dear Pastor. Here's something that might make you feel better
http://www.drugstore.com/qxp77758_33...r_capsules.htm
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
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Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it??? -
12-08-2006, 03:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
I cannot refute the Godly Pastor Ezekiel's comments, so I am changing the subject in a vain attempt to draw attention away from the fact that I have just been OWNED by the power of Christ.
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O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 309
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Greenbush, Georgia
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Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it??? -
12-08-2006, 03:49 PM
I hear that the Canucks make their wine from maypole syrup!! Ugh! I bet it freezes and sticks to the glass because it's sooooo cold up there!
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Ring-kissing Papist dog
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Posts: 3,358
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Vatican City...where we keep the good stuff!
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Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it??? -
12-08-2006, 11:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
... Bourbon is just American wine.
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Much like " Stay The Coarse" and ' Well Clinton lied to Congress!"?
The most famous American Jewish wine is " I wanna go to Myyammy."
The best known Baptist wine is " We need more money from you right away!"
We Catholics appreciate wine both as a ceremonial element and as a normal part of a well balanced diet. Red is best of course. Jesus didn't have white blood...at least according to Mel Gibson.
Bless you, my bumpkin non-oenophiles.
Father Mo
A Cardinal in the making.
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member
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Location: Red Peking
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Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it??? -
12-09-2006, 06:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
Our Lord Jesus didn't INVENT wine, but he DID MAKE it.
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You know, Pastor Al, something came to my mind thinking about this. The bible talks about how jesus made water into wine, but never once how he made wine into water.
Now it seems that the bible seems to talk about him drinking wine a lot, but if he never made water out of wine, only one logical conclusion can be drawn.
The bible is trying to say that jesus never took a whiz. (or urinated for the more politically correct)
*snicker*
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it??? -
12-09-2006, 07:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
You know, Pastor Al, something came to my mind thinking about this. The bible talks about how jesus made water into wine, but never once how he made wine into water.
Now it seems that the bible seems to talk about him drinking wine a lot, but if he never made water out of wine, only one logical conclusion can be drawn.
The bible is trying to say that jesus never took a whiz. (or urinated for the more politically correct)
*snicker*
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YOU TART! JESUS WHIZZED PRODIGIOUSLY, ALL OVER PALESTINE! I will ban you forever if you ever dare say that He didn't!
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member
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Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
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Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it??? -
12-09-2006, 07:58 AM
But Pastor Al, does the bible mention jesus whizzing? It doesn't seem to, but by saying that he never turned wine into water suggests...well.....the alternative.
If you can find a bible passage that quotes jesus whizzing, by all means post it and prove me wrong.
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it??? -
12-09-2006, 08:01 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
But Pastor Al, does the bible mention jesus whizzing? It doesn't seem to, but by saying that he never turned wine into water suggests...well.....the alternative.
If you can find a bible passage that quotes jesus whizzing, by all means post it and prove me wrong.
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MAY GOD DAMN YOU TO HELL! Of course JESUS WHIZZED! EVERYWHERE HE DID THERE IS A GODLY TREE, even unto this day!
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member
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Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
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Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it??? -
12-09-2006, 08:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
MAY GOD DAMN YOU TO HELL! Of course JESUS WHIZZED! EVERYWHERE HE DID THERE IS A GODLY TREE, even unto this day!
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Soooo......in other words, the bible doesn't say even once that he whizzed, does it?
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it??? -
12-09-2006, 08:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Soooo......in other words, the bible doesn't say even once that he whizzed, does it?
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WHY DO YOU WANT TO DISCUSS THE BOWEL MOVEMENTS OF OUR LORD JESUS, YOU SICK HARLOT?
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member
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Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
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Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it??? -
12-09-2006, 08:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
WHY DO YOU WANT TO DISCUSS THE BOWEL MOVEMENTS OF OUR LORD JESUS, YOU SICK HARLOT?
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What bowel movements? Pastor Al, the bible never specifies that any such movements ever took place.
*snicker*
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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