[Daisy Mae Johnson]

I'm not having a very good day so far.

I rear-ended a car this morning.

So there we are alongside the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car ... and you know how you just-get-sooo-stressed and life-stuff seems to get funny?

Yeah, well, I could NOT believe it . . he was a DWARF!

He storms over to my car, looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"

So, I look down at him and say, "Well, which one are you then?"

...and that's when the fist fight started.... It took me a few tries, but I finally beat that little evil demon down with my KJV1611 Bible.

Are ALL s'midgets demons?

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

I'm sure many of them are.

All of them have been cursed by God, and that's why they can't be allowed in church and they can't get saved (Lev 21:17-21). It doesn't surprise me that they rebel against God and turn aside after Satan. I'm certain that many of them willingly invite demons to live inside of them.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[SalvationSeeker]

Originally Posted by Pastor Billy-Reuben

I'm certain that many of them willingly invite demons to live inside of them.

Yeah, midgets and demons have a strong kinship with eachother:
As they are both shunned and cast out by all decent folk, they tend to stick together.

And since midgets are less in all aspects (except evil) than normal people, they can't succeed in life. UNLESS they have the aid of demons.
Demons gladly help their little brothers out, as doing so will make easily-deceived people doubt that midgets are truly cursed by God..
And thus those fools may start doubting the Word of God.

Quite a diabolical plot, but we see right through it.

[Brother Guy Bayard]

I hear that midgets are really Vampires in 'daywalker' guise, and that theyregain their full size when the sun goes down, sort of like adding water to a dehydrated meal, only instead of water it's human blood!

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Originally Posted by Brother Guy

I hear that midgets are really Vampires in 'daywalker' guise, and that theyregain their full size when the sun goes down, sort of like adding water to a dehydrated meal, only instead of water it's human blood!

Think about it - when was the last time you saw a midgets reflection? Or a midget eating garlic? these facts can't be ignored...just because they don't sleep in coffins doesn't mean they can't use the bureau drawer... if you don't believe me, load up a water pistol with Holy water and squirt one in the face and see what results..I can guarantee the little blood sucker won't be happy about it... the one i sprayed sure wasn't and he tried to bite me! If it wasn't for my Rottweiler "Goebbels" , the little demon may well have sucked me dry. As it was, Goebbels tasted some blood of his own before some nosey parkers pulled them apart. God I laughed at the sight of his raggedy little midget body being wheeled into that huge Ambulance. What a waste of resources. I told them to put an extra lock on their Blood supplies coolroom, in case he (it) regained consciousness but do you think they thanked me for the advice? Not a chance.

[H. Montague Worthington]

Midgets are demons that have not found a body to inhabit.

Also, it is well known that The Lollipop Guild is perhaps the most evil and dangerous organization in the Western world.

[Brother Temperance]

Well, wherever you stand on the "midget question", one thing's for sure: if midgets and negro basketball players ever teamed up to wage an unholy war against normal decent people, it'd make Al-Qaeda look like a bunch of Frenchmen having a tea party and tickling each other with daisies.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

Well, wherever you stand on the "midget question", one thing's for sure: if midgets and negro basketball players ever teamed up to wage an unholy war against normal decent people, it'd make Al-Qaeda look like a bunch of Frenchmen having a tea party and tickling each other with daisies.

Oh my GOD Brother! That would be terrifying! Can you imagine a little midget demon nipping at your ankles and hurling his balls at you!

I mean it was bad enough yesterday to have that little demon beating on my kneecaps......


I'm afriad, I'm VERY afraid!

[i_love_me_pussy!]

To find out if a creature is possessed by a demon, simply place it in a sack with some large rocks and throw it in a deep body of water. If it rises to the top, it is clean. If it sinks to the bottom and stays there, you got yourself a sack full of Satan. Problem solved. This is how I found out that ferrets, Mexican babies, and mutes are of the devil.

[Father Thomas Martin]

And this is Landover Bigot Church's View from the Glass House for today...

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin

And this is Landover Bigot Church's View from the Glass House for today...

Speaking of glass houses, you ring-kissing, dress-wearing, bead-counting, idol-bowing, mary-worshiping, boy-buggering catlicker cultists had better lay low. Jesus hates you, papist dog.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde

Are ALL s'midgets demons?

That crazy f*ck, Mel Gibson, seems to think so.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Originally Posted by i_love_me_pussy!

To find out if a creature is possessed by a demon, simply place it in a sack with some large rocks and throw it in a deep body of water. If it rises to the top, it is clean. If it sinks to the bottom and stays there, you got yourself a sack full of Satan. Problem solved. This is how I found out that ferrets, Mexican babies, and mutes are of the devil.

You are very wise Sister Pussy!

GLORY!

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

That crazy f*ck, Mel Gibson, seems to think so.

What? Are Jews midgets now?

[liberal God-mocker]

people with deformities are born that way
how can God punish them while they are being concieved?
i have met deformitized/disabled people that are extremely nice
and refering to the first post: it is extremely insensitive to say something like that to someone that is probably made fun of all the time
if i was him i would have been super mad too

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by liberal baptist

people with deformities are born that way
how can God punish them while they are being concieved?
i have met deformitized/disabled people that are extremely nice
and refering to the first post: it is extremely insensitive to say something like that to someone that is probably made fun of all the time
if i was him i would have been super mad too

You are obviously not a Christian. Have you ever read the Bible? Where does it say any of the absurd claims you're making?

Take a look at my sermon on what God thinks of cripples HERE.

[Mr. Jingles]

I once met a midget in a shopping mall. I told him that he shouldn't be allowed out in public; he burst into tears. It was fun making him cry.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Mr. Jingles

I once met a midget in a shopping mall. I told him that he shouldn't be allowed out in public; he burst into tears. It was fun making him cry.

You didn't touch it did you? You can catch things off them I've heard.

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

You are obviously not a Christian. Have you ever read the Bible? Where does it say any of the absurd claims you're making?

Take a look at my sermon on what God thinks of cripples HERE.

God doesn't hate people because they're cripples; God cripples people because He hates them.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Originally Posted by liberal God-mocker

people with deformities are born that way
how can God punish them while they are being concieved?
i have met deformitized/disabled people that are extremely nice
and refering to the first post: it is extremely insensitive to say something like that to someone that is probably made fun of all the time
if i was him i would have been super mad too

Deformitized. Really? That is the word you chose to defend dwarves?

That's like telling someone whose hair is on fire that they look taller!

Deformitized?!? God doesn't "deformitize" people, he afflicts them. And it's for something the parents, usually the mother did, not the precious products of conception itself. Get your facts and your language straight.

Does your keyboard not have a 'Shift' key?