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Ezekiel Bathfire's Avatar
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Default Vandalism in LBC Library - 06-29-2015, 10:58 PM

It is with great forbearance that I bring this wanton vandalism to the attention of you all. As the chairman of the board of the Library Committee for the Maintenance of Purity and Morals, I deplore all desecration of books other than those incapable of being consecrated to the betterment of our youth.

I know all of you know the moral yet adventurous tale, "The Swiss Family Robinson" and how the Patriarch steers the family in the direction of Christ at every conceivable opportunity thus bringing God's spotlight onto his happy brood and thus ensuring their, and his, spiritual and actual salvation. This novel has been in the Children's Section of the library since 1912.

The vandalism to the fronticepiece of this book is bordering on sacrilege, and had it not been for the total lack of any reference to God between pages 91 and 125, it would have been.

If anyone recognizes the perpetrator of this evil from his handwriting, please bring him before me after a severe chastisement with the wrong end of a belt.

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“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: Vandalism in LBC Library - 06-29-2015, 11:36 PM

Heathens think that just because we Christians pile up and light fire to books that encourage sin they can deface our own blessed literature.

We will find and prosecute those who defiled God's tools for teaching the faith.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Vandalism in LBC Library - 06-30-2015, 12:08 AM

As a True Christian ™, I of course would never intentionally bear false witness against another.

Exodus 20:16: "16 Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour."

And I am less than certain, but that chicken-scratch looks very familiar and similar to the scribbles of a known God-mocker and miscreant among us. Especially when compared to the IOU he recently signed, and has failed to pay.

I hope his hatred of our Savior has not metastasized to the point that he would deface our library. But it might be worth an arrest and interrogation to determine if he was involved? After all, what is lost with a filthy atheist anyway?

In Christ


Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

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Default Re: Vandalism in LBC Library - 06-30-2015, 08:42 AM

With respect to you gentlemen, as always, there are several things that suggest a crazy old woman's hand in this:

1. The poor penmanship and spelling;
2. The cookery-based content;
3. The green ink.

Brother Cranky's former neighbor, Mrs. Johnson, springs to mind.


Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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