Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Deep Belly Button: Potential Orifice for Sodomists? -
09-13-2016, 07:52 PM
Wow, homosexuals are sure perverted.
Just a reminder, you should all thank your mothers for not having raised you to be queer!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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True Christian™
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Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Re: Deep Belly Button: Potential Orifice for Sodomists? -
09-13-2016, 09:32 PM
With sodomy on the mind, your average pervert's imagination can run amuck - and I guess anything's possible.
I remember once sitting in a restaurant reading the menu when a waitress came up wearing one of those halter tops and started babbling on about the "specials". I glanced up and swore that her belly button was talking.
I suppose now there are going to be "trans-bellybutton" types we're going to have to deal with that will want "special rights" - like displaying their bellybutton sex organs in public.
Jesus can't come back too soon.
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Deep Belly Button: Potential Orifice for Sodomists? -
09-13-2016, 11:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Titus Templeton
Let's make belly buttons homo-proof!
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I could not agree more.
Proper barriers should fix this so the Hillary Clinton voters can no longer put there tallywhackers in each others belly buttons:
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Serving Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
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Re: Deep Belly Button: Potential Orifice for Sodomists? -
09-13-2016, 11:13 PM
I have noticed that, as I get older and less active, there is some kind of swelling around my middle. It causes my pants to be tight and it is uncomfortable. One of the effects seems to be that my belly button keeps getting deeper. Am I at risk for molestation?
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Landover Senior Outreach Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,237
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Freehold Senior Estates
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Re: Deep Belly Button: Potential Orifice for Sodomists? -
09-14-2016, 04:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Titus Templeton
Brothers And sisters,
I recently found some new evidence that some homosexuals with deep belly buttons are able to use it as another sexual entrance for their partners...
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A valid observation, my Brother in Christ.
When I made the disastrous choice to be gay, the belly-button was not so much a target for the penile sodomy. More a receptacle.
When the top queer pulled out (if they did), and if the sissies were face to face, it was common to spray the bottom homo with filthy spooge. The jets of seed would often coat the fellow sodomite from anus, perineal raphe, over the penis, abdomen and upper torso.
The excited and frenzied gay (usually under the influence of methamphetamine) could occasionally ejaculate semen over the tops of the heads of his victim, with surprising velocity.
Nevertheless, homo-rectal scum most often ended up pooled in the belly buttons of the the bottom fag.
Your post makes me thank Jesus that I no longer seek man-steel, rectums and filthy homosexual activity.
Thank you. And in Christ Jesus.
Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
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Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
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Re: Deep Belly Button: Potential Orifice for Sodomists? -
09-14-2016, 04:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alvin Moss
I have noticed that, as I get older and less active, there is some kind of swelling around my middle. It causes my pants to be tight and it is uncomfortable. One of the effects seems to be that my belly button keeps getting deeper. Am I at risk for molestation?
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Brother Moss,
The angel of the LORD will protect you! (Psalm 34:7)
However, one recommendation is to insert one of these pushpin gadgets into your belly button with the sharp point sticking out. Then put a piece of clear packing tape over the hole. The tape should seal your orifice, but if a determined queer does happen to break through, he will soon regret that decision.
Attachment 26080
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
Last edited by BrotherLarry; 03-20-2018 at 02:49 AM.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: Deep Belly Button: Potential Orifice for Sodomists? -
09-14-2016, 09:23 AM
I met a woman once who didn't have a belly button. The whole thing was totally confusing. She didn't really have an explanation why she didn't have a belly button. How could this happen?
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Another brick in Donald´s wall - A.K.A "The Gonz" True Christian™
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Posts: 2,111
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Ungodly South America
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Re: Deep Belly Button: Potential Orifice for Sodomists? -
09-14-2016, 12:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
I met a woman once who didn't have a belly button. The whole thing was totally confusing. She didn't really have an explanation why she didn't have a belly button. How could this happen?
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Well my friend, she must have been a demon, or an angel. Every people born has a belly button, so she has not been born, but created.
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Christ's Battle Axe
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Posts: 2,777
Join Date: Dec 2006
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Re: Deep Belly Button: Potential Orifice for Sodomists? -
09-14-2016, 08:26 PM
Ricardo, the ex-gay who does my hair, has told me even worse horror stories. He once had a lover whom God smote with cancer, so he had to get a colostomy. With rectal intercourse no longer an option, Ricardo sodomized his boyfriend through his stoma, until the opening tore and he required more surgery.
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True Christian™
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Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Re: Deep Belly Button: Potential Orifice for Sodomists? -
09-15-2016, 02:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unbridgeable
Well my friend, she must have been a demon, or an angel. Every people born has a belly button, so she has not been born, but created.
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I think the word you are looking for here is "hatched" - like chickens (who don't have belly buttons). I think there is such a thing called Marsupials (generally found in Austria), that also don't have belly buttons, but for a different reason. They might come under the category of demons as you suggest, and I think one of them is called a Tasmanian devil.
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™
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Posts: 11,342
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
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Re: Deep Belly Button: Potential Orifice for Sodomists? -
09-17-2016, 08:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan
I think the word you are looking for here is "hatched" - like chickens (who don't have belly buttons). I think there is such a thing called Marsupials (generally found in Austria), that also don't have belly buttons, but for a different reason. They might come under the category of demons as you suggest, and I think one of them is called a Tasmanian devil.
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The Tasmanian devil has been struggling as a species because the Lord has chosen to smite them with facial tumors that make it difficult for them to eat.
Instead of repenting, those animals have responded by coming into heat younger and having teen-aged sex. In this way they can reproduce more before they die while still in their prime.
I'm sorry if this does not relate directly to the dangers of deep belly buttons but it is a comfort to know that God is still out there, smiting like the old days. And, as a pure True Christian woman without a husband, I am appropriately celibate and therefore have lots of time for reading and reflecting on God's Wondrous Ways.
More importantly, teenagers having sex is a serious problem that all decent members of society should worry about.
Non-Salaciously Yours,
Handmaiden
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy
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