[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

The Methodist family on the next block is about to work my mother's last nerve. If I am to be honest, I'm not happy with them, either. Every week, their Sunday School teacher has them make some sort of craft item. Their parents tell them to "Go show the Baptist heathens what you made." Last week it was a picture of a dove made out of white rice on a piece of cardboard. The week before, it was Joseph's dreamcoat made with melted crayons and a sugar glaze. At Easter they made an empty tomb, made from a matchbox with a robe left inside it (the robe was cut from a pair of men's underwear). Black pea Jesuses and spaghetti Holy Ghosts have just about made me want to complain to the city council. Do you have Methodists near you? Is it just my town, or are they pathetic and pesty? Any suggestions for dealing with them?

[Miss Tanith]

Sounds like you've got an infestation. I don't have methodists but the 'Good News' kids from across the street, one block down are always bringing some kind of 'craft' to show/give to me. I don't want their tat, since mostly their stuff is their 'interpretation' of the Bible (Please. The Bible isn't open for interpretation. Everyone with half a brain cell knows that.) so I started spraying them with the hose everytime the walked past my garden. I love that hose, it's so useful.

Anyway, not only have they stopped bringing me their lies, but they walk the three blocks around the church to avoid my house instead. Bonus!

(It took roughly one month. One of the brats had an asthma attack or something and their mother came to the door and gave me a black eye. Eventually, they got the message.)

Do you have a hosepipe?

[Mary Etheldreda]

Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb

Do you have Methodists near you?

In my neighborhood? No.

Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb

Is it just my town, or are they pathetic and pesty?

They are quite pathetic and pesty, it's not just you. How you've been so kind and tolerant thus far is clearly the work of the Holy Spirit in you. God is good all the time.

Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb

Any suggestions for dealing with them?

When I lived in a mixed neighborhood with children like this, I would invite them in. We'd play Bible games and read some of the more tame Bible stories. We'd sing cheerful Bible songs and share snacks like cookies and juice. It's very important to get them to like you as a person. Children can be very trusting, but some require you to earn their trust. Once you have that, and I have no doubt you can do that ever so easily, quickly, and naturally, then you can start to introduce real Biblical concepts to them. My favorite Introduction To The Real Gospel is to make a paper bag Furnace, reminiscent of the historical event in which three men went into a furnace rather than offend the LORD, and four men were seen praising Him (Daniel 3:1-30).

We talk about the implications of loving and trusting God over everything else. We talk about how God may ask us to face persecution and even death for His Glory. We talk about how this life is ever so short when compared to eternity. Then, we talk about Hell. And we use the furnace to talk about being in Hell for ever and ever and ever and ever and ever. We talk about grandparents and family pets and old teachers or even little friends who died of leukemia for God's Glory are roasting in Hell even now. We talk about God's Perfect Justice and how we make Him so enraged with our sinful rebellion, that only by burning us in a horribly painful and torturous fashion can His anger be appeased. We talk about how there is no talking your way out of this Perfect Justice, as His Perfect Justice isn't concerned with our feelings or any excuses we might come up with. We talk about how it might feel to be burned so badly your skin starts to bubble and peel, and yet because this is forever, it never burns off. And because this is Hell, we never get to sleep or even faint from the pain like most bodies do when suffering tremendous shock to the senses. Here's an example of our project:

I use photos of family members and friends of the children, both living and dead, laminate them, and paste them to the tips of straws so we can imagine them screaming in the flames of Hell. I think you might have fun with this project, Naomi, and I know you'll help convert souls to Christ.

God Bless you dear!

[Godfly]

Your Methodist aren't negros are they? If they are this might be a great opportunity to stand your ground. Otherwise it's good to remember George W. Bush is a Methodist. So there are some good ones.

[brother guthro]

I had a methodist brother in-law who told his children it was "okay" to maturate in front of each other as long as the washed up afterwards. I was terrified for his poor misguided children.
I went to talk to him about how inappropriate he was in telling his children these lies. He proceeded to try to tell me otherwise and showed me pictures in attempts to show me the "innocence of the acts".
I think these methodists are a true abomination sent here to test our patience.

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Sister Mary,

A few of the ladies from church are going to use your suggestion this coming Sunday after services. With any luck we will have some converts soon!

In Jesus,
NRL

[ciel phantomhive]

This is disgusting. Targeting children and calling them "scum" is nasty.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Originally Posted by ciel phantomhive

This is disgusting. Targeting children and calling them "scum" is nasty.

Methodist children are nasty.