Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you). |
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Biblical Poet, Warrior and Scholar Biblical Black Belt Jr. Pastor
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The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread -
02-23-2012, 06:54 PM
As True Christians™ it is very important for us to talk about anal sex as much as possible. This horrible, disgusting sin is the worst problem the world has ever faced. To combat it, we need to keep talking about it, in all the nauseating, revolting details as possible, to discourage people from ever thinking for a second that it is acceptable behavior!
Making small-talk with the cashier at the supermarket? Talk about anal sex!
See your neighbor out walking his dog? Talk about anal sex!
Have a meeting with your child's teacher? Talk about anal sex!
Standing by the water cooler with a co-worker? Talk about anal sex!
Visiting your mother in the hospital? Talk about anal sex!
Wherever you are, at church, at a sporting event, at a Christmas party, at the park, or at a restaurant, talk about anal sex to anyone you can. Make sure you tell them how disgusting it is and go into detail about men's anuses and the look, smell, taste and texture of feces. This is the number one concern for all Christians living in America today, to combat Satan and his control of the media.
This thread is to talk about how much anal sex disgusts you. Please try to post here as much as often. Go into detail about any other feces related fetishes too, the world must know how awful anal sex is!!!
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
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Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread -
02-23-2012, 07:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heathen_Basher
Talk about anal sex!
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Amen, brother. It is up to us to purge the minds of the populace of all matters of or relating to anal sex by bringing the subliminal anal games of the liberal media to the surface. Everywhere I turn I see references and allusions to anal sex. It is in cartoons, on billboards, in textbooks, soap operas, showtunes, the liberally biased "news" especially... It is no wonder that anal rape has become such a common practice everywhere from the churchyard to the schoolyard to the floor of Congress. Anal sex is being forced on society from pillars of authority and from the Satanic Anarchist underground. It is not even just the gays. Young "virgins" are getting into anal sex believing it is an alternative to coitus and scat play, but it is really a hybrid of the two, and includes elements of both.
I don't know how we else we could force people to stop having anal sex, except maybe by invading their homes and pulling their tallywackers out of their anuses manually, but that would take to long. Let's face it, we have to talk about anal sex ever increasingly until the Rapture happens, to keep up with the snowballing trend.
Ugh. This is so difficult. I can taste my own vomit.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Posts: 296
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Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread -
02-23-2012, 07:16 PM
My word! You inspired me! I feel filled with the love of Jesus again!
I'll go onto the streets once again!
I tried once before to warn underage girls of the danger of bestiality with a series of explicit pictures, but that didn't really work out.
But you're right, we can't stay silent no more! If I think about those gay men on this world, who at this very moment can be stark naked, eying each other, fondling each other nipples... In a few moments one will bend over, and the other will insert his fist in the warm, deep hole that's the other's rectum, and wiggle his fingers for extra effect... I'm getting sick by the thought of it!
John 20:27: Then saith he to Thomas, Reach hither thy finger, and behold my hands; and reach hither thy hand, and thrust it into my side: and be not faithless, but believing.
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
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Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread -
02-23-2012, 08:27 PM
Those who have made the deathstyle choice to commit anal sex like to persecute us by saying that we talk about anal sex far more than even the gayest gayboy does. There are reasons for that. First, it is our duty as True Christians™ under the Great Commission to take every possible opportunity to warn people away from that sin. Second, the queers don't want to talk about it because they are intent on lying to themselves about how much it disgusts them. When they are in such deep denial about their own thought processes, we True Christians™ must set them straight (in more ways than one).
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread -
02-23-2012, 08:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Isaac Peters
Those who have made the deathstyle choice to commit anal sex like to persecute us by saying that we talk about anal sex far more than even the gayest gayboy does. There are reasons for that. First, it is our duty as True Christians™ under the Great Commission to take every possible opportunity to warn people away from that sin. Second, the queers don't want to talk about it because they are intent on lying to themselves about how much it disgusts them. When they are in such deep denial about their own thought processes, we True Christians™ must set them straight (in more ways than one).
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Godly Words Brother. Gays always try to deny they are into anal sex but that is just part of the deception of the radical gay agenda like gays trying claim they are not into effeminate boys. The fact is to have as much anal sex as possible with any men and women as they can is the basic requirement to be gay man.
Yes, the topic of anal sex is horrifying but we TRUE Christians™ MUST make sure EVERYONE knows about anal sex.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
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Posts: 5,251
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread -
02-23-2012, 09:00 PM
Anal sex is a major part of Rick Santorum's campaign, and I for one am glad to help take part in standing up against Big Sodomy and declaring, "No more, gay agenda, will you poison the minds of our youth and ensnare Americans in the sticky web of homosexual behavior!"
Just imagine two young men, like you, Heathen_Basher, locked away in a dark bedroom somewhere, rolling around on the bed naked until one of them flips the other over and the "top" crams his tallywacker up the "bottom's" backside.
Furious humping ensues, and another colon is destroyed and the AIDS finds yet another home.
Now, Big Science and Big Liberal Media don't like to talk about it, but gay anal sex is destructive not only to the receiver's anus, but the giver's fertility, due to the fact his testicles are being mashed against the rump of another man repeatedly and violently.
The resulting pain and infertility are clear indicators that this is unnatural, and therefore AGAINST GOD'S WILL!
This kind of dangerous and destructive sex does not occur in a normal, heterosexual relationship where a man is sticking his tallywacker in the only hole GOD made for it.
Why do we care what these gay boys are up to behind closed doors?
Because they aren't obeying what GOD says, and ever since I was a little kid, any time I saw somebody doing something they shouldn't my first instinct was to frantically look around for the nearest authority figure to go tell.
I would like to see the gay boys stop serving the flesh and start serving JESUS, so they can go to Heaven and live forever as reformed True Christian heterosexuals, but I guess I will have to settle for getting angry about what they do in life and then watching them burn for all eternity.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
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Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread -
02-23-2012, 09:04 PM
Can someone please explain to me what's so great about anal sex? Doesn't it hurt?
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
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Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread -
02-23-2012, 09:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
Can someone please explain to me what's so great about anal sex? Doesn't it hurt?
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Well, brother, I can tell you a story about what happened to my uncle.
Several years ago he was getting ready to take a shower, and he accidentally slipped and fell onto a shampoo bottle.
My poor uncle had to go to the hospital to have it removed, and it so happened that my pastor was at the emergency room at that moment, witnessing to people who came in who might be about to die so they could know JESUS.
Well, naturally my pastor wanted to know why my uncle was there, and knowing it was sinful to lie, my uncle told the truth and my pastor said the look of pain and embarrassment on my uncle's face was the worst he had ever seen.
I can tell you, brother, it hurts very, very badly, even if the entire shampoo bottle is covered with a lubricant.
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Landover Senior Outreach Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
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Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread -
02-23-2012, 09:35 PM
Gay anal sex is a very serious bio-hazard and public health risk. As an Ex-Queer cured of the disease by the love of Jesus Christ, I am ashamed of all the years that I contaminated everything I touched or sat upon.
From personal experience, semen management is an issue for the gay. The sigmoid colon can suspend perhaps 250cc of man-seed, no more. Of course, the queen will have received at least this much before noon, and the volume will surely double by the end of the day after the usual dozens of sodomy trysts with anonymous strangers in public toilets. Even with plugs and diapers, the pressure will only increase, especially as the swelling decreases in the traumatized rectum after the last session of the day.
Something eventually has to give and when it does, it is not pleasant. In short, everything the queer has come in contact with is rife with the AIDS, Hepatitis and any number of filthy infectious diseases. It is simply irresponsible to pack mud at the expense of the innocent public. Gay anal sex MUST stop.
In Christ
Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
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Professor of Creation Science at Landover University Double PhD. Theomathematics, Racial Science Returned from 10 year South Africa Expedition
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Posts: 2,988
Join Date: May 2009
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Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread -
02-23-2012, 09:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heathen_Basher
As True Christians™ it is very important for us to talk about anal sex as much as possible.
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Amen Brother Basher. As anyone who reads this forum is well aware, I am a former sodomite. My Ex-Gay© status makes me one of Landover's preeminent experts on all things fecal and anal. In posts like this one, this one, and threads like this one, I often discuss the more repulsive aspects of the activities of your average street fag, as I myself experienced them.
The Lord has since delivered me from my formerly unquenchable desire to have as much manflesh as possible plunged deeply in and out of my lower gastrointestinal tract. He has also freed me from the wanton and filthy need to sledge hammer my own turgid shaft into any and all male rectums. I praise Him everyday and thank Him for these gifts that He has given me.
The fact that my mind is no longer over flowing with images of ten man daisy chains, public scat orgies, male prison rape role play, mutual fisting, or sports equipment insertion fantasies is a testament to the power and forgiveness of our sweet and merciful Lord. Glory!
Professor of Creation Science at Landover Baptist University
Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!
Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21
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Apostle to the Samites and Laplander Eskimos.
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Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread -
02-23-2012, 11:23 PM
EDIT: I misread that the title said "Office ANAL sex discussion Thread", but as it turns out it did not, so I have nothing to say about the matter. I do not know anything about that office anal sex either.
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Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade Jesus macht frei
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Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread -
02-23-2012, 11:26 PM
How does it feel? Is it like pooping?
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Professor of Creation Science at Landover University Double PhD. Theomathematics, Racial Science Returned from 10 year South Africa Expedition
True Christian™
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Join Date: May 2009
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Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread -
02-23-2012, 11:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Titus Templeton
How does it feel? Is it like pooping?
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Yes, but over and over and over again. I used to think I enjoyed it, but Jesus showed me that I actually hate it. Praise!
Professor of Creation Science at Landover Baptist University
Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!
Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21
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Biblical Poet, Warrior and Scholar Biblical Black Belt Jr. Pastor
True Christian™
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Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread -
02-24-2012, 08:59 PM
Anal Sex Quote of the Day:
Quote:
Listen, as Christians and heterosexuals we are quick to tell homosexuals that if God wanted men to be with men or women to be with women, He would have made it possible for them to procreate. In addition, we tell homosexuals that God would have also made the act of anal sex healthy and natural.
But the same logic must be applied to anal sex in marriage. Otherwise, you're being hypocritical.
If God wanted married couples to have anal sex, He would have made procreation possible through this method of intercourse. He also would have made the act healthy and natural.
Prayerfully, you understand our position Biblically and medically. Sex and marriage should always be God honoring.
So, Honor God by honoring your body!
Take care of your body and don't do ANYTHING that would put your body at risk.
Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit!
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Source: http://www.christian-marriage-today....the-bible.html
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread -
02-24-2012, 09:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heathen_Basher
Anal Sex Quote of the Day:
Quote:
If God wanted married couples to have anal sex, He would have made procreation possible through this method of intercourse. He also would have made the act healthy and natural
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Source: http://www.christian-marriage-today....the-bible.html
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GLORY! If God wanted us to be sodomized by large, muscular and sweaty black in men full motorcycle leathers he would have arranged our backsides differently. This urge towards anal sex comes from ONE PLACE; SATAN! God has intended our bottoms as an exit only!
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread -
02-24-2012, 09:33 PM
I think we should sticky this thread in the introduction section of the forum so that unsaved trash can learn that anal sex is evil as soon as possible.
Maybe we should include a ban on sodomy in the Terms of Service as well. I know it will be difficult to enforce, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't discourage it.
I also want to remind everyone that just because we have this excellent thread, that doesn't mean we don't have to talk about anal sex everywhere else too. We have to make sure that everyone knows how disgusting anal sex is before they have it again and again, and make the Baby Jesus cry.
Oh, I was just thinking, men and women, make sure you do anal clenching exercises to better enable yourself to resist anal rape. Your sphincter can never be too tight. I do them all the time, and they really work, as I have never been raped anally. I think the homers see how I stand and know they shouldn't even bother trying to penetrate me.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Professor of Creation Science at Landover University Double PhD. Theomathematics, Racial Science Returned from 10 year South Africa Expedition
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,988
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Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread -
02-24-2012, 09:51 PM
Well said Brother Jenkins. Anal sex of any kind, whether it involves a penis, a tongue, fingers, a fist, two fists, a foot or feet, the stump of an amputee, a dildo, several dildos, a police issue flashlight, a large gnarled piece of driftwood, a baseball bat, a cricket bat, a hockey stick, or an official NFL game used football, is wrong in the eyes of the Lord.
Professor of Creation Science at Landover Baptist University
Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!
Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread -
02-24-2012, 10:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor Bessemer
Well said Brother Jenkins. Anal sex of any kind, whether it involves ... or an official NFL game used football, is wrong in the eyes of the Lord.
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But soooooo Youtube-worthy.
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Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade Jesus macht frei
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Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread -
02-24-2012, 10:58 PM
In my youth it was cool to smoke cigarettes.
Today they feel cool when they meet in the school toilet and do anal sex.
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread -
02-24-2012, 11:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Titus Templeton
In my youth it was cool to smoke cigarettes.
Today they feel cool when they meet in the school toilet and do anal sex.
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Of course, making anal sex "cool" is just a way to persecute those who don't engage in it.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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