What's better, hot or cold for removing gay germs? -
03-13-2011, 05:47 PM
Or is there some even more effective way?
Hmm, I might need to describe the problem from the start.
As we all know, gays spread AIDS around for fun. I have always done my best to protect me and my family by keeping any homo at least baseball bat's length away from me. However, now I'm in bit of a stalemate with post office.
It all started some time ago when I called to post office to get confirmation that I am getting gay free service. Person on the other side of the phone line sounded bit funny when he told me that he is not sure, but he will check it out and contact me later.
After few months I begin to suspect that I was not to be contacted by this person again, so I made another call with more forceful approach. Again the first person I called did not know about that kind of service, but I got another number within the post office I could call to. After quite lengthy round of phone calls, I found out to my horror, that post office in my country does not have "No-homo" policy with their employees.
Ever since I have been pressuring the post office so they start to respect human rights of Christians by guaranteeing gay free mail for good people.
So now we get back to my dilemma. Until post office starts to respect their customers, I have to protect me and my family by cleaning my AIDS laced mail. So far I have used tweezers to remove mail from mailbox and put it in special container. The container I then have placed in very cold freezer for a week. After that I go through mail with dispensable latex gloves and burn envelopes and such right away.
This seems to do the trick (so far we have remained AIDS free), but weeks delay before you can read your mail is bit inconvenient, so I was wondering if I could speed up the process some how. I have been thinking about using oven to decontaminate the gay mail, but I'm not sure if the heat is high enough without paper catching fire.
Has anyone else had these kind problems and thus have more experience with the problem I'm facing?
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