[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Tonight, I had dinner with the lovely and beautiful Jan Crouch. Paul was supposed to have joined us but unfortunately he came down with a stomach ailment this morning. We ate at the famous Beverly Hills restaurant Spago and were seated just two booths away from Tom Hanks and his wife Rita Wilson. Don't get me wrong, I like Tom's movies (Saving Private Ryan was spectacular, and the Da Vinci Code exposes the dark secrets of the Catholic Church), but I was just dying to chew his wife out for not taking his last name.

Paul (the apostle, not Rev. Crouch) tells us that the man is the head of the woman. Clearly the Hankses are not living according to Biblical standards so don't be shocked when you see them splitting up on next week's People magazine cover.

Anyways, Jan and I had a wonderful conversation covering everything from the Book of John to waterskiing to the rise of Islam in Europe to hot vacation spots to effective methods of converting atheists to fundraising ideas to favorite places to shop on Rodeo Drive. She is such a witty and intelligent woman. Many people think she is a "bimbo" because of how she acts on TV and the fact that she's just absolutely gorgeous, but that woman has a mind deep down.

After tipping the waiter a hundred dollar bill we got into my Mercedes SL65 and cruised up and down Hollywood. We saw many unsaved freaks. Hookers. Drug addicts. Transvestites. Punks. Queers. We wondered just how bad this world has become and it just reaffirmed our life's mission of going on TV and winning souls for Christ.

We then drove to a upscale bar and relaxed and talked for a couple hours. The conversation got a little personal at this point and I'm not at liberty to divulge what we talked about of respect for her and myself. Before we knew it the bar was closing and I drove her back to her house. Paul was asleep. I really hope he doesn't get angry for returning her so late, but he's a gentle, forgiving man and a fantastic example of a Christian, so I don't think there will be any problem.

Here's a picture of us.