General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
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LBU Professor and Biblical Wordsmith Extraordinaire President of the Ex-Negro Academy Alumni Association Freehold Best Tan Award winner, 10 yrs running
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,048
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Chateau Lebeau (Freehold, Iowa)
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"Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated -
09-10-2008, 04:12 AM
The Large Hadron Collider will be activated within a matter of hours.
To the married community:
You all know what you need to be doing. I personally will be firmly planted inside my wife for the entire day as a bold stand for heterosexuality. Some of you are going to be wear electrified chastity belts. Some of you will be using hazmat suits. If you still have not developed a plan you had best head to the main church building ASAP.
To the single community:
Single church members need to form prayer circles. We are going to be mixing things up a bit for this occasion. Prayer circles should consist of boy-girl-boy-girl pattern. With the very real threat of homo erotic particles attempting to penetrate our minds and bodies we don't want anyone holding hands with the same sex. Yes, we know holding hands is alittle hot and heavy, but the alternative is too dire to take any other course. Participation is mandatory. Anyone who is not signed in by 0030hr will be automatically signed up for BASH the next day.
Prayer circles start at midnight. Schools in Freehold will be closed tomorrow as well as the university. Remember, Jesus is our friend. He is on our side. Let's stand up to Satan and his earthly minions. This gateway to the Abyss will not be allowed to let Satan and his demons entire our world physically. We must counter these particles with prayer. We will show them the power of real "God particles".
To those single members living in Europe:
You will be right at the epicenter. You have already been signed up for BASH. We have complete confidence that you will not give in the the demons' call to sodomy and rug munchery, but you will need to be purged in the light of Jesus nonetheless. It would be cruel of us to allow you to be subject to such a call for the rest of your natural life.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 84
Join Date: Sep 2008
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Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated -
09-10-2008, 05:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Remy Lebeau
The Large Hadron Collider will be activated within a matter of hours.
To the married community:
You all know what you need to be doing. I personally will be firmly planted inside my wife for the entire day as a bold stand for heterosexuality. Some of you are going to be wear electrified chastity belts. Some of you will be using hazmat suits. If you still have not developed a plan you had best head to the main church building ASAP.
To the single community:
Single church members need to form prayer circles. We are going to be mixing things up a bit for this occasion. Prayer circles should consist of boy-girl-boy-girl pattern. With the very real threat of homo erotic particles attempting to penetrate our minds and bodies we don't want anyone holding hands with the same sex. Yes, we know holding hands is alittle hot and heavy, but the alternative is too dire to take any other course. Participation is mandatory. Anyone who is not signed in by 0030hr will be automatically signed up for BASH the next day.
Prayer circles start at midnight. Schools in Freehold will be closed tomorrow as well as the university. Remember, Jesus is our friend. He is on our side. Let's stand up to Satan and his earthly minions. This gateway to the Abyss will not be allowed to let Satan and his demons entire our world physically. We must counter these particles with prayer. We will show them the power of real "God particles".
To those single members living in Europe:
You will be right at the epicenter. You have already been signed up for BASH. We have complete confidence that you will not give in the the demons' call to sodomy and rug munchery, but you will need to be purged in the light of Jesus nonetheless. It would be cruel of us to allow you to be subject to such a call for the rest of your natural life.
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I'm going to be sat at the computer wrapped in a duvet as it's 7.00am here. I am confident it won't turn me gay. Hey, maybe it'll turn homos straight!
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated -
09-10-2008, 12:35 PM
I am praying for Christ to keep me rigid and firm in the faith, but it's tricky. Several times today I've noticed my wrists starting to flop all over the place like nobody's business. Please let me know if I start to display any signs of unusual behaviour.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated -
09-10-2008, 01:13 PM
I knew it, see, I just knew it. That Name - that terrible Name.
I Hope© everyone can read this, because I am averting my eyes from the monitor as I type
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 60
Join Date: Aug 2008
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Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated -
09-10-2008, 01:29 PM
Nothing happened yet so I assume that it was another doomsday craze that swept around, nothing new in recent years.
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LBU Professor and Biblical Wordsmith Extraordinaire President of the Ex-Negro Academy Alumni Association Freehold Best Tan Award winner, 10 yrs running
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,048
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Chateau Lebeau (Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated -
09-10-2008, 05:23 PM
One of our maids starts banging on my bedroom door. I told her not to disturb me and the misses for the entire day. I told her to leave us, but she keep on knocking. "Massuh, Remy!! Massuh, Remy!!! Dem sintist ain't turned on dat muhshin!!! Dey's only test'n it!!!". Latasha normally has a good head on her shoulders so dislodged from my wife, got dressed and read the report. There was alot of sly talk, but I could tell that they failed and were trying to cover it up. Why "test" it today and then wait months to try it out again? They've already tested it before? What's the hold up?
Friends, our prayers have been answered. The secular atheist pseudo scientist have failed to open their gateway to the Abyss. Although they did channel the power of satan, they only managed to channel half the power of satan at any given time; therefore, they were unable to shatter the fabric of space-time and open a portal to the Abyss. Our prayers set them back so badly that they won't be able to gather enough satanic energy to retry their failed experiment for at least a few months.
Let no one ever say that God does not answer prayers.
Jesus : 1
Satan: 0
Pat yourselves on the back and...
!!!PRAISE JESUS!!!
I think you all owe Jesus alittle something extra this Sunday when the collection trough comes around during service.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 60
Join Date: Aug 2008
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Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated -
09-10-2008, 06:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Remy Lebeau
One of our maids starts banging on my bedroom door. I told her not to disturb me and the misses for the entire day. I told her to leave us, but she keep on knocking. "Massuh, Remy!! Massuh, Remy!!! Dem sintist ain't turned on dat muhshin!!! Dey's only test'n it!!!". Latasha normally has a good head on her shoulders so dislodged from my wife, got dressed and read the report. There was alot of sly talk, but I could tell that they failed and were trying to cover it up. Why "test" it today and then wait months to try it out again? They've already tested it before? What's the hold up?
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Of course they tested it, what else would they do with a brand new piece equipment? And why waiting to try it out again? Because they must process the results of the test before continuing to the next step. This machine is not like a car or anything, it's way more complex and requires careful handling to get the correct results. Scientists predict that it will take some years before the full potential of this machine will be reached.
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated -
09-10-2008, 06:37 PM
By the way: What is this...Member-thingy...supposed to collide with? Some sort of cozmik cooter?
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LBU Professor and Biblical Wordsmith Extraordinaire President of the Ex-Negro Academy Alumni Association Freehold Best Tan Award winner, 10 yrs running
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,048
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Chateau Lebeau (Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated -
09-10-2008, 09:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teflon©
Of course they tested it, what else would they do with a brand new piece equipment? And why waiting to try it out again? Because they must process the results of the test before continuing to the next step. This machine is not like a car or anything, it's way more complex and requires careful handling to get the correct results. Scientists predict that it will take some years before the full potential of this machine will be reached.
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Shut up, you tired old numbskull. Funny how you seem to have all the inside info, eh? We know that Richard Dawkins and the Masons are paying you to come here and spew your lies. How much analyzing would a person need? They supposedly shot a proton through a very long fire hose. If the so-called "proton" made its way through the tubes then the test is complete - Nothing to analyze. Caught you in a lie you sneaky snake!!!
Jesus and I see right through you. You're a satanist and a communist! Your demon lords will not prevail! PRAISE JESUS!!!
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LBU Professor and Biblical Wordsmith Extraordinaire President of the Ex-Negro Academy Alumni Association Freehold Best Tan Award winner, 10 yrs running
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,048
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Chateau Lebeau (Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated -
09-10-2008, 09:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SUV
By the way: What is this...Member-thingy...supposed to collide with? Some sort of cozmik cooter?
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If anything, a cozmik member. That's where the homo particles come from. Pure homersexurality.
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One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers Salvation from Above God's Favorite Pilot™
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,282
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Flying the Friendly Skies for Jesus!
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Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated -
09-11-2008, 02:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Remy Lebeau
If anything, a cozmik member. That's where the homo particles come from. Pure homersexurality.
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I heard they turned it on today! Does anyone know what time exactly, because at 2:35pm Pacific time, out of the blue, for no reason at all, I thought to myself: "I should get Cher's Greatest Hits on CD." Was that Hardon thing on at 2:35?!?!
Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!
God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!
Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 60
Join Date: Aug 2008
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Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated -
09-11-2008, 07:34 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Remy Lebeau
Shut up, you tired old numbskull. Funny how you seem to have all the inside info, eh? We know that Richard Dawkins and the Masons are paying you to come here and spew your lies. How much analyzing would a person need? They supposedly shot a proton through a very long fire hose. If the so-called "proton" made its way through the tubes then the test is complete - Nothing to analyze. Caught you in a lie you sneaky snake!!!
Jesus and I see right through you. You're a satanist and a communist! Your demon lords will not prevail! PRAISE JESUS!!!
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LOL, this post clearly shows you are defeated.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated -
09-11-2008, 10:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teflon©
LOL, this post clearly shows you are defeated.
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Did the LHC transport you to Bizarro Land?
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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LBU Professor and Biblical Wordsmith Extraordinaire President of the Ex-Negro Academy Alumni Association Freehold Best Tan Award winner, 10 yrs running
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,048
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Chateau Lebeau (Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated -
09-11-2008, 02:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teflon©
LOL, this post clearly shows you are defeated.
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Oh, really. Funny thing is, it is YOU who have evading MY questions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Remy Lebeau
How much analyzing would a person need? They supposedly shot a proton through a very long fire hose. If the so-called "proton" made its way through the tubes then the test is complete - Nothing to analyze.
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The supposed "proton" made its way through the tube in both directions during two separate "tests". So how much analyzing DO they have to do, sinner?
The thing supposedly works. The logical conclusion would be that they would fire both "protons" in opposite directions now. What's the hold up?
Teflon: *cricket noises*
Didn't think so.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
Did the LHC transport you to Bizarro Land?
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He's clearly got nothing. This debate is clearly in the bag. That will make this my... 80th victory?
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 60
Join Date: Aug 2008
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Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated -
09-11-2008, 05:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Remy Lebeau
Oh, really. Funny thing is, it is YOU who have evading MY questions.
The supposed "proton" made its way through the tube in both directions during two separate "tests". So how much analyzing DO they have to do, sinner?
The thing supposedly works. The logical conclusion would be that they would fire both "protons" in opposite directions now. What's the hold up?
Teflon: *cricket noises*
Didn't think so.
He's clearly got nothing. This debate is clearly in the bag. That will make this my... 80th victory?
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Since this is the most complex machine ever build they have to do tons of analyzing but unfortunately it's just beyond your grasp of understanding. The initial tests are just to confirm if the machine works properly, looking for instance if the super magnets are aligned properly and many many other parameters that need to be checked. For a debater you seem to know little or nothing about the subject mentioned here.
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LBU Professor and Biblical Wordsmith Extraordinaire President of the Ex-Negro Academy Alumni Association Freehold Best Tan Award winner, 10 yrs running
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,048
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Chateau Lebeau (Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated -
09-11-2008, 08:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teflon©
Since this is the most complex machine ever build they have to do tons of analyzing but unfortunately it's just beyond your grasp of understanding. The initial tests are just to confirm if the machine works properly, looking for instance if the super magnets are aligned properly and many many other parameters that need to be checked. For a debater you seem to know little or nothing about the subject mentioned here.
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It supposedly shots a "proton" through a tube. WOW, so advanced and hi-tech!!!
Oh, I see. It's just "so complex"? And "beyond my understanding" too?
Sounds to me like you've got nothing.
I accept your surrender. That's debate number 80, folks. Pretty easy win I'd say. Gotta get around to updating my sig.
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True Christian™ Nitric Oxide
True Christian™
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Posts: 3,477
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated -
09-11-2008, 09:27 PM
If the hardon collider creates a black hole, and kills everyone...
Well, from the things I've heard about black holes, .. ok, here's what wiki says about black holes
Quote:
A black hole is a theoretical region of space in which the gravitational field is so powerful that nothing, not even electromagnetic radiation (e.g. visible light), can escape its pull after having fallen past its event horizon.
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So if there's a black hole and it sucks us all in, and we all die, and nothing can escape...
Will my soul still make it to heaven? Will heathen scum still go to hell?
I don't want to be stuck in a black hole caused by hardons, with fags for the rest of eternity!
YIC
V
Judges 9:21 And Jotham ran away, and fled, and went to Beer, and dwelt there, for fear of Abimelech his brother.
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Mother of 20
True Christian™
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Posts: 384
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Freehold, Iowa.
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Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated -
09-11-2008, 09:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teflon©
LOL, this post clearly shows you are defeated.
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Mr. Lebeau invoked the name of JESUS CHRIST to support his argument. As a True Christian ™, Jesus supports him 100%. You cannot win any debate against a True Christian ™, Monkey Man.
GLORY!
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 60
Join Date: Aug 2008
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Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated -
09-12-2008, 02:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Remy Lebeau
It supposedly shots a "proton" through a tube. WOW, so advanced and hi-tech!!!
Oh, I see. It's just "so complex"? And "beyond my understanding" too?
Sounds to me like you've got nothing.
I accept your surrender. That's debate number 80, folks. Pretty easy win I'd say. Gotta get around to updating my sig.
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Why do you even remotely think that I have surrendered? where did I state that?
While the collider does not give any practical result (it's not gonna make something) it gives the scientists an insight into matter and from there on they can confirm their theories. On later terms I might help us understand complex structures. But of course, your ignorance prevents you to understand anything about matter.
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LBU Professor and Biblical Wordsmith Extraordinaire President of the Ex-Negro Academy Alumni Association Freehold Best Tan Award winner, 10 yrs running
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,048
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Chateau Lebeau (Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated -
09-12-2008, 05:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teflon©
Why do you even remotely think that I have surrendered? where did I state that?
I understand you are full of sinful pride and will never admit you lost this debate. But the obvious reality to you, me and everyone else is that you can't back up your claims. You don't honestly expect me to pretend that you have anything left to say, do you? Just look at your last reply (or what you just posted below). You've got nothing. You're beat.
While the collider does not give any practical result (it's not gonna make something) it gives the scientists an insight into matter and from there on they can confirm their theories. On later terms I might help us understand complex structures. But of course, your ignorance prevents you to understand anything about matter.
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Translation: Blah, blah, blah I don't got nothing. You've seen through all my secular lieberal atheist lies. You are too sharp of a knife for me to fool.
I accept your second declaration on defeat. But this still only counts as my 80th victory. Please, stop embarrassing yourself.
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