Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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Spiritual Mother of LBC
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,341
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
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Mental Help for Democrats? -
10-23-2006, 12:41 PM
I do consider it a mental (and spiritual) illness. And I know how we Christians feel about shrinks . . . but just this once, is there anything we can do? Any suggestions?
Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Mental Help for Democrats? -
10-23-2006, 04:20 PM
Just calling in the elders of the church to pray over them (James 5:14) won't work, since demon-cretins are by definition unsaved. Perhaps the devil that causes people to be demon-rats (and I believe that only a devil could cause people to adopt such a heinous belief system) is the kind that can be driven out only by prayer and fasting (Matt. 7:21, Mark 9:29). In that case, maybe the Department of Faith can organize pray-and-fast-ins at liberal gathering places.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Mental Help for Democrats? -
10-24-2006, 01:27 PM
This story just in:
Quote:
October 23, 2006
Democrats Suffer Bouts of Optimism, Prozac Sales Plunge
by Scott Ott
Washington, D.C. — With polls showing Republicans could lose control of Congress after the November elections, Capitol Hill physicians have been swamped with Democrats reporting symptoms of optimism, a condition almost unknown among their people.
Eli Lilly, the maker of the anti-depressant drug Prozac, annouced today that sales in the Washington D.C. region have plunged in the weeks since former Rep. Mark Foley, R-FL, stepped down in the wake of scandal involving lurid emails to Congressional pages. And each time CNN announces a new body count plateau for American troops in Iraq, the company said, Prozac sales in the D.C. area dip again.
“Our core customer base in this area is rapidly vanishing,” said an unnamed Lilly spokesman.
“However, longterm prospects for Prozac look bright,” he added, “since optimism is an acute condition among Democrats, not chronic.”
“They’re only optimistic about winning and about power,” he said. “Even if they sweep in November, their view of America’s future will lead them right back to the pharmacist, but this time they’ll have long coat-tails, bringing much of America with them.”
“For the anti-depressant industry,” he added, “a Democrat-controlled Congress means happy days are here again.”
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Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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