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Default Is Pastor Ezekiel still alive? - 09-08-2018, 05:11 PM
I wanted to check in my concerns for Our Dear Beloved Leader. I haven't seen him much, these days, though maybe he's finally on a mission with the new plane we've been saving up, tithing to Jesus for.

Sometimes, I see false reports of people departing, when really they are still on Earth. Other times, people just seem to vanish. There are many esteemed Pastors and Elders of Landover I've looked up to and admired for many years, only for them to vanish in a poof (figure of speech; cloud of smoke; not the faggot type of poof) without word!


Though, I suppose if Pastor Zeke has been called home to Heaven®, it would be a blessed occurrence. I will look skyward for his plane and see him and Jesus riding together. I will also feel a slight decline of dread whenever I log into this site, and not feel like I'm walking eggshells, even if his omnipotent eyeballs are burrowing into the back of my neck.
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Jesus Re: Is Pastor Ezekiel still alive? - 09-08-2018, 08:07 PM
Brother Jim, my dear handsome friend:


Please rest easy! Of course the beloved man is still alive! Once Jesus has granted eternal life, it is simply that: eternal. Can you think of a single reason why our Lord would ever allow His favorite pastor to feel the sting of death? I can't.


It is true that the gaze of Ezekiel is constant and far-reaching. He knows us and our daily goings-on because of his love for us. There is no reason to fear him! Tithing helps remove that fear, by the way.


Be cautious about going against anything he says, or doubting that he is 29. Keep saying how much more he looks 18 or so. Don't mention the scandals of the past or imply that his houseboys are more than they are - houseboys being trained in service of the Lord. You should be ok.

Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Is Pastor Ezekiel still alive? - 09-08-2018, 10:49 PM
I figured he was busy helping Donald Trump with all the persecution going on.


Although I don't understand why we are whispering at the bottom of our posts.

Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
1 Corinthians 11:13
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Default Re: Is Pastor Ezekiel still alive? - 09-09-2018, 12:40 PM
Pastor Zeke is one of my favorite Christians. He saved my life.
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Default Re: Is Pastor Ezekiel still alive? - 09-09-2018, 03:58 PM
Why would he not be alive? Did you go to his funeral?

May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Is Pastor Ezekiel still alive? - 09-09-2018, 08:28 PM
I know a lot about Pastor Ezekiel. He is probably one of the top three Christians in the US. Very famous and loved by all. I remember seeing Jesus himself make some forum posts on here celebrating HIS birthday! If Pastor Ezekiel were to have passed away, I am 100 percent positive it would be breaking news on Fox News. No word from Fox about his death definitely so that proves Pastor Ezekiel is still alive. I hope when I am a grown woman that I marry a man who is as Christian as he is. If you'll excuse me, I have to go to my bedroom to do some private praying. If you hear any screaming it's just me yelling praise about how great of a man Pastor Ezekiel is I promise!
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Default Re: Is Pastor Ezekiel still alive? - 09-09-2018, 10:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
Why would he not be alive? Did you go to his funeral?

I went to a puppet show. There was a mannequin with blond straw hair, put in a box. I think I relapsed and made an error.


I have no doubts about our Pastor's age, I was just hoping to God he didn't join the 27-Club (Or 59-Club).
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burger Re: Is Pastor Ezekiel still alive? - 09-09-2018, 11:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim C. Lombardo View Post
I wanted to check in my concerns for Our Dear Beloved Leader. I haven't seen him much, these days, though maybe he's finally on a mission with the new plane we've been saving up, tithing to Jesus for.

Sometimes, I see false reports of people departing, when really they are still on Earth. Other times, people just seem to vanish. There are many esteemed Pastors and Elders of Landover I've looked up to and admired for many years, only for them to vanish in a poof (figure of speech; cloud of smoke; not the faggot type of poof) without word!


Though, I suppose if Pastor Zeke has been called home to Heaven®, it would be a blessed occurrence. I will look skyward for his plane and see him and Jesus riding together. I will also feel a slight decline of dread whenever I log into this site, and not feel like I'm walking eggshells, even if his omnipotent eyeballs are burrowing into the back of my neck.
I just had dinner with the Godly Pastor last Friday night. He had a 48 ounce Porterhouse, blood rare, I had the Ribeye.


People seem to forget the size of a flock he has to tend. It is not like the old days where after services Pastor Ezekiel would stand at the Platinum Tithers® private door and thank all for their attendance and casually mention to those whose offerings were in arrears.

Also, due the troubled times we are experiencing, he often must teleconference in or be safely ensconced in a secure location.
Rest assured, just because you are not able to possibly see him in the flesh, does not in way, shape or form mean He does not exist.

Seriously, you think I could of mistaken my dinner with the young and eternally Dashing Pastor Ezekiel for someone like say Tom Waits?

Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Is Pastor Ezekiel still alive? - 09-10-2018, 03:13 AM
When I saw the thread title, I nearly had a heart attack. While doubtful naturally of dear Zeke's demise, always faithful is I in Lord Jesus Christ. No wool pulled over me, Jim. Very poor taste.
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Default Re: Is Pastor Ezekiel still alive? - 09-10-2018, 03:28 AM
Would Trump administration still be up and running if I had perished? Would Jesus not have appeared to seek vengeance against mankind if I were not alive? Jesus H. Christ, folks! Give up this fake news thread and go back to the one thing that is necessary: tithe and spread the good news. Extra 150% tithe next Sunday and the Sundays to follow to anyone who still dares write stupidities here!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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