[Titus Templeton]

Brothers and sisters,

the neighbours are a perfectly nice white Christian couple. But I always had a suspicion about their son. He doesn't look very "Christian" to me. So I "playfully" took some dna samples from the boy when he was playing with my son and immeditaly sent it to ancientry.com. Indeed the results say he is of arab decent. But now I am even more worried that a terrorist is growing up and might have bad influence on my son. Thoughts?

[Mister Brasil]

Mr. Templeton, I'm wondering how this science has advanced. Was ancestry.com able to glean which exact tribe this boy belongs to? Girgashite maybe?

One thing is clear-- you should not let this boy marry your son, or he will turn your grandchildren from Christ.

Do you have any tricks on DNA collection? As an amateur sleuth, I've always suspected that there isn't a lot of DNA that one can get by swabbing a used drinking glass. Is there some other technique that's more effective?

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

I'd watch this one closely for signs of ululating, interest in fireworks other than July 4th, growing a beard, desire to marry 9-yearold girls, backyard goat slaughtering, camels in preference to American cars as a mode of transportation, and sword dancing. Don't hesitate to report him to the proper authorities.

[Thomas Taylor]

Brother Titus,


In order to rid yourself of this problem have you considered driving over him with a truck? This method seems to have worked o.k. in the Godless city of London in the Caliphate of England.


YIC
TT

[BrotherLarry]

Originally Posted by Thomas Taylor

Brother Titus,


In order to rid yourself of this problem have you considered driving over him with a truck? This method seems to have worked o.k. in the Godless city of London in the Caliphate of England.


YIC
TT

Brother Tom and Brother Titus,


I am reluctant to accept the solution of running over this boy with a truck. Somehow it seems a rather harsh method of dealing with the problem. My advice is to proceed with caution.
If, indeed, the youngster begins showing signs of absolute muslimicity, perhaps he might fall in front of your lawn mower.


You could also ask the community to petition for this family to move in the name of security. You could fashion picket signs with slogans like "Protect our Children from Pedophile Islamists," or "Not In Our Neighborhood! Sharia law must GO!"


I will be keeping this situation in my prayers. Just have faith and take comfort in the fact that Jesus knows, is watching, and will never fail you.

[Phil Ander]

The wonderful thing about doing the DNA on this nascent terrorist is that you can identify other people with terrorist DNA in them through Ancestry. It is your civic duty to identify the genetic matches and forward details to Homeland Security. Waterboard time. MASA. Making America Safe Again

[Basilissa]

Originally Posted by Phil Ander

The wonderful thing about doing the DNA on this nascent terrorist is that you can identify other people with terrorist DNA in them through Ancestry. It is your civic duty to identify the genetic matches and forward details to Homeland Security. Waterboard time. MASA. Making America Safe Again

Indeed, Brother. I believe that we should recommend our Beloved President () to conduct DNA tests of all people of Spanish and Hispanic descent. The Arabs left a lot of their malignant genes in Spain during their 700 years of occupation. Therefore, all Hispanics are potentially Arabs.

[Titus Templeton]

I put the test and results into my neighbours briefcase. Maybe they don't even know their boy is a muslim!