Some third-world country is
selling off an aircraft carrier called "The Ark Royal". It probably won't cost more than we have on the tithing plate, so to speak, and we can lower the price by bribing a few folks - you know how these tinpot monarchies work. A few trinkets for the queen, some firewater for the archbishop and generallissimos and we're all set.
Just think of the uses: we could put it in the reservoir to patrol for
hippies trying to sneak floride into the water, or it could be a Noah's Ark themed zoo, or it could be a yacht/country club for our Deacons, Platinum Tithers, and whatever congressman we are lobbying at the moment:
I've already clicked the "add to cart" button...