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Default Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over - 10-03-2006, 12:27 AM

Sunday school teachers and youth pastors might want to take note of this, I think this is a very effective demonstration that will offer irrefutable proof to children of all ages that evilution is nothing but a FILTHY LIE drummed up by charles "the devil in human form" darwin and his satanic minions to lead people away from Christ.

For this experiment you will need:

1 live goldfish
1 KJV 1611 Holy Bible

First, read the Biblical account of Creation aloud to the witnesses, from the KJV 1611:

Quote:
Genesis 1

1In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

2And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

3And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.

4And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.

5And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

6And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.

7And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so.

8And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.

9And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so.

10And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good.

11And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.

12And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

13And the evening and the morning were the third day.

14And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:

15And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so.

16And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.

17And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth,

18And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good.

19And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.

20And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.

21And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

22And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.

23And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.

24And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so.

25And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

26And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

27So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

28And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

29And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.

30And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so.

31And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.

After having read this aloud, give a brief description of the false doctrine of evilution. Fish growing legs and lungs and taking to the land, etc., making it very clear that it is the gospel of beelzebub.

Next, remove the goldfish from it's bowl, and place it on the ground. There are bound to be some shrieks of horror and shouts of anger, but pay no attention. Proceed with the experiment in The Name of God.

As the fish flops about, gasping for air, be sure to point out to the children that it doesn't appear to be sprouting limbs or developing lung function, and that in fact, it is dying an excruciatingly painful death. Feel free to ad lib here, you can rant about damnation and hellfire, or you can shout at them about the Mercy of Christ...it doesn't reallly matter, the visual part of the demonstration will be most effective.

Yours in True Biblical Science,
Witch Hammer
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Default Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over - 10-03-2006, 12:36 AM

Praise Jesus!! What an excellent object lesson for Christian children.

I suppose we could also work it the other way around; throw a cat in a fish tank and wait for it to "evolve" some gills and fins. Watching it gulp and flail about will surely inspire any child with the glory of God!!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over - 10-03-2006, 12:52 AM

Wow, such a wonderful, simple answer. Such a brainy, insightful answer. How is it that the evolution debate is still going on with the likes of WH around? My, my a complete mystery.



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Default Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over - 10-03-2006, 12:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Wow, such a wonderful, simple answer. Such a brainy, insightful answer. How is it that the evolution debate is still going on with the likes of WH around? My, my a complete mystery.
Stow the sarcasm, witch. You're far too stupid (which is understandable, as you're a woman) to see the undeniable proof of Biblical Creation hidden in this elegant little experiment. Go now, slattern.
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Default Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over - 10-03-2006, 01:03 AM

Bah. It is equally as likely for the Flying spaghetti monster to have created the universe.
If you're looking at one creation theory, you have to look at them ALL.
And besides, the FSM heaven sounds better

But my point is that a simple badly organized experiment conducted by a 10th grader (I'm thinking) is hardly conclusive proof of the origins of the universe.
Why, using that kind of logic I could prove the big bang theory by getting a can of beans, feeding it to a landover senior pastor near an open fireplace......and......



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Default Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over - 10-03-2006, 01:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Bah. It is equally as likely for the Flying spaghetti monster to have created the universe.
If you're looking at one creation theory, you have to look at them ALL.
And besides, the FSM heaven sounds better

But my point is that a simple badly organized experiment conducted by a 10th grader (I'm thinking) is hardly conclusive proof of the origins of the universe.
Why, using that kind of logic I could prove the big bang theory by getting a can of beans, feeding it to a landover senior pastor near an open fireplace......and......
I pity you, you wicked, ignorant creature, with the finer nuances of life ever bouncing off of your thick, protruding aborigine brow. Christ have mercy on you!
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Default Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over - 10-03-2006, 02:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Bah. It is equally as likely for the Flying spaghetti monster to have created the universe.
If you're looking at one creation theory, you have to look at them ALL.
And besides, the FSM heaven sounds better

But my point is that a simple badly organized experiment conducted by a 10th grader (I'm thinking) is hardly conclusive proof of the origins of the universe.
Why, using that kind of logic I could prove the big bang theory by getting a can of beans, feeding it to a Landover senior pastor near an open fireplace......and......
Imbecilic witch! The Holy Word of God does not mention spaghetti anywhere in its divine pages. If God had wanted us to worship food, he would have mentioned it I'm sure. We KNOW that Jesus is God, because the Bible tells us so. Don't be so thick.

As for your infantile joke about passing gas....how on earth does that have any bearing on this topic? Answer: it does not. And I'll have you know that when True Christian pastors expel demons through their poop chute, it smells like roses, another miracle provided by Jesus.

Can your false pasta "God" do that?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Thank You Witch Hammer! - 10-03-2006, 02:11 AM

For that wonderful gold fish scientific creationlab experiment. I would also like to suggest the following instructional video as a complimentary lesson for children and adults. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usrrj5jWd68


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Default Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over - 10-03-2006, 05:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer View Post
...Proceed with the experiment in The Name of God...

Now doesn't that have a nice, mid-twentieth century Germanic ring to it!

Your 'experiment' does nothing more than prove you are few water squirts shy of a bidet. Exposing children to such ghastly abuses like a dying fish is unconscionable and you should stop immediately. It's outfits like yours that give organised religion a bad name.





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Father Mo


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Default Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over - 10-04-2006, 04:04 PM

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Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester View Post
Exposing children to such ghastly abuses like a dying fish is unconscionable and you should stop immediately.
So how do you expose children to ghastly abuses? Like an injured maggot?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over - 10-04-2006, 05:28 PM

Well it sounds like a wonderful little experiment to teach young True Christian™ children about the Lord's work and how evilution is no more than silly nonsense.
I may try it with my young nephews, no doubt those poor little things need at least SOME chance of Salvation instead of Hell from my hellbound Catlick sister.

~Rain
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Default Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over - 10-04-2006, 06:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain View Post
Well it sounds like a wonderful little experiment to teach young True Christian™ children about the Lord's work and how evilution is no more than silly nonsense.
I may try it with my young nephews, no doubt those poor little things need at least SOME chance of Salvation instead of Hell from my hellbound Catlick sister.

~Rain
Perhaps I should assist you with that. My expertise in saving young Catholic girls from Satan's clutches in unparalleled.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over - 10-04-2006, 06:43 PM

Quote:
Perhaps I should assist you with that. My expertise in saving young Catholic girls from Satan's clutches in unparalleled.
Hmmm. That's funny. It's says here you're currently residing in Yorkshire, a place crowded with Catholics.
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Default Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over - 10-04-2006, 07:34 PM

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Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Perhaps I should assist you with that. My expertise in saving young Catholic girls from Satan's clutches in unparalleled.
Brother, I believe Rain mentioned her young 'nephews'.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over - 10-04-2006, 07:35 PM

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Originally Posted by Witch Hammer View Post
As the fish flops about, gasping for air, be sure to point out to the children that it doesn't appear to be sprouting limbs or developing lung function, and that in fact, it is dying an excruciatingly painful death. Feel free to ad lib here, you can rant about damnation and hellfire
That's quite a blessed demonstration of Biblical truth, which (if you don't mind) I think I'll use as a demonstration at next week's Youth In Action meeting. One thing I'll be sure to do is point out the similarities between the fish's painfully funny flopping about and Terri Schiavo's own excruciatingly painful death, which Christians still mourn, I can tell you.


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Default Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over - 10-04-2006, 07:42 PM

Quote:
That's quite a blessed demonstration of Biblical truth, which (if you don't mind) I think I'll use as a demonstration at next week's Youth In Action meeting. One thing I'll be sure to do is point out the similarities between the fish's painfully funny flopping about and Terri Schiavo's own excruciatingly painful death, which Christians still mourn, I can tell you.
Come on! Will you ever forget her?
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