General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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It's Christmas time again!!! -
09-15-2006, 08:06 PM
Lest you think I am some sort of false "Christian" for starting so late in His Season this year, remember: I officially kicked it off on the old board on September 1st!!!
So who's begun their shopping - and who's began making their Eggnog?!
I need addresses complete with directions. I'm not a mind reader, people! That is the sort of "new age" thing that will send one to HELL!
Who's gonna get me a Jesus Thong this year? I wanna know.
"Don't sit under the Christmas Tree
With anyone else but me!
Anyone else but me!
Anyone else but me!
Until The Christ comes Staggering (under the weight of His Cross)
HOOOOOOOME!!!"
SUV
Last edited by SUV; 09-16-2006 at 03:13 PM.
Reason: Could make it better
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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09-15-2006, 08:55 PM
SHOUT GLORY!
I'm so excited Sister Sue. It's the hap-hapiest time of the year!
I have already ready started some shopping for at least one person but I'm not saying who.
Say, I wonder if Brother Matt's wife Jean is going to be "Santa's Lil Helper" again this year?
Gleeful, Sister Thumper
Last edited by Daisy Mae Johnson; 09-15-2006 at 09:16 PM.
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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09-16-2006, 03:26 PM
Bless you and Godly Sister 'Mrs. Mike' Sister Thumper! Can you just imagine how Hot vinyl gets, sitting Right next to a lit Christmas Tree?
I can
Also, it sours the Eggnog rather quickly when the Tree's all warm and lit with one sitting beside it, sipping Daintily from a Flute.
Should we simply use glowsticks this year for lighting? (Added bonus: THEY'RE PLASTIC!!!)
SUV
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde
SHOUT GLORY!
I'm so excited Sister Sue. It's the hap-hapiest time of the year!
I have already ready started some shopping for at least one person but I'm not saying who.
Say, I wonder if Brother Matt's wife Jean is going to be "Santa's Lil Helper" again this year?
Gleeful, Sister Thumper
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compassion personified
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,721
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New Zealand
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09-17-2006, 09:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Sue Vera
Can you just imagine how Hot vinyl gets, sitting Right next to a lit Christmas Tree?
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Indeed, which is why I hope you won't be leaving the following vinyl sweltering under your Christmas Angel:
That's right dear Sue, I am sending you this marvellous collection of tunes ... the names of the bands are a bit modern for my taste, but I'm sure their heart is in a True Christian place. It is obvious "The Chubbies" are concerned with the rise in American obesity, and "The Muffs" are alluding to the cold American Christmas. You know, I had quite the large muff as a girl - in fact, I still have it, but the fur has become a little worn and sparse with age ... so I won't be presenting you with my tatty old muff for Christmas - best you buy new - but I will send you a picture of it. And that's a promise.
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
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09-17-2006, 09:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Rogers
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Oh, GOOD! Finally a use for little girls: Toilet paper dispensers.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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09-17-2006, 10:46 AM
THIS is what I'm getting my special someone for God's Birthday. Its called "Eternal Christmas", and is designed to hold and dispense one of God's greatest gifts to Man: GRAVY!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Good Gravy! -
09-17-2006, 02:23 PM
I'm going to fill it up to sloppin' over with that chunky grey Gravy they put on those cathead bisquits at Hardee's. So Sophisticated it will be in that Dainty, Tasteful little server! I only Hope they sell it by the gallon.
SUV
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
THIS is what I'm getting my special someone for God's Birthday. Its called "Eternal Christmas", and is designed to hold and dispense one of God's greatest gifts to Man: GRAVY!
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Spiritual Mother of LBC
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,341
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
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Arts & Crafts: Special Angels -
09-17-2006, 03:10 PM
Of course, I'm not advocating the use of Satan's Cotton Fingers (tampons) but they do come in handy for first aid kits as a compress. And tampons make delightful little angels, which we will talk about today.
How to Make a Tampon Angel
1 Remove tampon from suggestive outer casing.
2 Fluff up cotton material
3 Use a felt tip marker to color angel's face
4 Yarn and Elmer's (not my husband but the brand Elmer's) glue for hair.
5 Add pretty things like glitter and such to make your angel special
6 Use the handy little string (included) to display your angel (not on a pagan tree).
7 Say a little prayer to our Lord Jesus Christ to bless your angel and help the angel to keep your family safe.
Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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09-17-2006, 08:51 PM
And here is how to make some wonderfully comfy Christamas slippers from Maxi pads.
Be creative!
4 Maxi Pads
Glue one going crossways over the other
Hot glue on Christmasy items and Jesus trinkets
ENJOY!!!!!
I think I will make all the ladies of Landover some for Christmas!
Feeling Artys and Cragty, Sister Thumper
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