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Reload this Page JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?
MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part.

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Default Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions? - 02-04-2009, 11:39 PM

I'm not sure that Brother Hatchet's digestive system could handle that moo-goo-gai-glop organic mess she whips up in her cauldron "wok" or whatever it is. Maybe he could rent her out for a few months as a servant girl first, just to see how it might go.

A dry run, so to speak.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions? - 02-05-2009, 01:44 AM

I hope you people aren't going to force me to tell you about my late husband. The memories are very painful, and I really don't want to discuss it, OK?


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Default Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions? - 02-05-2009, 01:55 AM

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I hope you people aren't going to force me to tell you about my late husband. The memories are very painful, and I really don't want to discuss it, OK?
Wait....does that mean you already have a suitably modest wedding dress you can wear around town, after we stitch the U to the chest?

Because I ordered that polyblend fabric for overnight delivery.
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Default Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions? - 02-05-2009, 02:23 AM

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Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
Wait....does that mean you already have a suitably modest wedding dress you can wear around town, after we stitch the U to the chest?

Because I ordered that polyblend fabric for overnight delivery.
It means I'm a widow, and blended fabrics are unGodly.

Brothers and Sisters, I think Mistress Cookie is rapidly falling into sin, because of her unmarried nature! She ordered a blended fabric!


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Default Re: Mistress Cookie needs a husband! Suggestions? - 02-05-2009, 03:03 AM

Oops. Well, when all that fabric arrives at your house tomorrow COD, I'd suggest you either not "hear" the bell, or explain it was all a terrible misunderstanding. Golly....good luck!

I just got a whole new slew of pm's in response to the title of this thread being changed, and it's frozen my mailbox again.

I know you were trying to help, Dear Sister, but some might see this as harrasment. I only say that because I would hate for you (or anyone else who took it upon themselves to try to procure for me in this thread this afternoon) to be hit with a lawsuit by someone, or something.
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Default Re: JennyD needs a lawyer! Suggestions? - 02-05-2009, 04:39 AM

I hope the new title meets with your approval.


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Default Re: JennyD needs a lawyer! Suggestions? - 02-05-2009, 06:46 AM

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I hope the new title meets with your approval.
Oh, it looks lovely. Thank you.

It wasn't really me that was upset (because you know I'm just not that way about things), it was Bobby-Joe who was all in a tither because the server was crashing because all these pm proposals or whathaveyou were flooding into my mailbox all at once, and it happened twice, and then a few of the pastors were disgruntled and thought I was auctioning myself off or something, when their lawyers say they have a claim on Dearly Departed Daryl's estate...and they don't want some "playboy" type sweeping me off and claiming half before it's all resolved...or something. I don't know. I really don't have a head for business and all that fine print.

BUT ANYWAY, TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT: I didn't know the Bible was so adamant about polyester blends! Where does it talk about that, again? Daryl wore these horrible leisure suits sometimes. I should have known right then he was the devil.
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Default Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions? - 02-05-2009, 07:59 AM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
I'm not sure that Brother Hatchet's digestive system could handle that moo-goo-gai-glop organic mess she whips up in her cauldron "wok" or whatever it is. Maybe he could rent her out for a few months as a servant girl first, just to see how it might go.

A dry run, so to speak.
It's called Moo Joo Jai Pan. You can imagine what's in it.


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Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions? - 02-05-2009, 02:04 PM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
It's called Moo Joo Jai Pan. You can imagine what's in it.
Jews?


Søren Kierkegaard: "The Absurd, or to act by virtue of the absurd, is to act upon faith ... I must act, but reflection has closed the road so I take one of the possibilities and say: This is what I do, I cannot do otherwise because I am brought to a standstill by my powers of reflection."
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Default Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions? - 02-05-2009, 02:25 PM

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Jews?
No. Snails. It's a French dish; the JOOS call it gefilte.
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Default Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions? - 02-06-2009, 05:47 AM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
No. Snails. It's a French dish; the JOOS call it gefilte.
UUUGGGGH! Is that one enormous snail, pulled out of its defenseless little shell ? ?

It looks more like a skinned rat torso.

Well, I supose eating those are some sort of barbaric religious rite for them. I know they have all those mysterious ceremonies with charred bones and tears...but still ! ! !
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Default Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions? - 02-06-2009, 05:59 AM

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Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
UUUGGGGH! Is that one enormous snail, pulled out of its defenseless little shell ? ?
Yeah, pretty much. Then they pull off it's little eyestalks and call it kosher.


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Default Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions? - 02-06-2009, 02:48 PM

Would Brother Bathfire or Brother Nobar King happen to be single? Their impressive manly beards indicate begetting a babe of the masculine variety upon Sweet Sister Jenny. We do need more men to lead the Next generation of True Christian™ soildiers.
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Default Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions? - 02-06-2009, 03:37 PM

Honey, I'm a little too old for that sweet young thing, plus, the last thing I need in my house is a bunch of rug-rats messing everything up. Thank you for flattering my beard, though.


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Default Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions? - 02-06-2009, 04:57 PM

Get a Husband (or two) the good old fashioned way. Like I did.

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Default Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions? - 02-06-2009, 05:20 PM

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Get a Husband (or two) the good old fashioned way. Like I did.

By picking them up in bars?


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Default Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions? - 02-06-2009, 06:44 PM

It's the smoking thing. She asks men for cigarettes and then they're hooked.


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Default Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions? - 02-06-2009, 06:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
By picking them up in bars?
Really, Pastor! I tried to pick Don Bozo del Guapo up from the gutter in Christian Love but then saw he had no head.

Ah, but who are we to question His ways?
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Default Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions? - 02-06-2009, 07:16 PM

Whatever happened to Don Bozo, anyway?

Incidentally, did I mention that I'm single?


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions? - 02-06-2009, 08:05 PM

You do have that 'desperate' look. Have you tried the 'Christian Singles' banner ads that I keep seeing. (or the ones offering Vietnamese wives?)


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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