(#1)
Old
Brother Temperance's Avatar
Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
Senior Usher
True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
A very nice young man
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 2nd class Christian Love Saved 5 Years The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Heterosexual™ Ex-Christ-Killer Public Awareness Medal Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus TC Bravery Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Ex-Brit True Republican Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default A tale of God and lice - 10-01-2006, 02:30 PM

Today, we'll be studying a well-known story from Exodus, that shows just why no rational person could fail to choose Jesus.
Exodus 7:10 And Moses and Aaron went in unto Pharaoh, and they did so as the LORD had commanded: and Aaron cast down his rod before Pharaoh, and before his servants, and it became a serpent.

11 Then Pharaoh also called the wise men and the sorcerers: now the magicians of Egypt, they also did in like manner with their enchantments. 12 For they cast down every man his rod, and they became serpents: but Aaron's rod swallowed up their rods.

So Moses and Aaron go before Pharoah, and God turns a rod into a snake. Then Pharoah's magicians (the wiccans of their day) do the same thing, but Aaron's rod swallows up their rods.

19 And the LORD spake unto Moses, Say unto Aaron, Take thy rod, and stretch out thine hand upon the waters of Egypt, upon their streams, upon their rivers, and upon their ponds, and upon all their pools of water, that they may become blood; and that there may be blood throughout all the land of Egypt, both in vessels of wood, and in vessels of stone.

20 And Moses and Aaron did so, as the LORD commanded; and he lifted up the rod, and smote the waters that were in the river, in the sight of Pharaoh, and in the sight of his servants; and all the waters that were in the river were turned to blood.
21 And the fish that was in the river died; and the river stank, and the Egyptians could not drink of the water of the river; and there was blood throughout all the land of Egypt. 22 And the magicians of Egypt did so with their enchantments: and Pharaoh's heart was hardened, neither did he hearken unto them; as the LORD had said.

So, then Moses and Aaron, with God's help, turn all the water into Egypt into blood. But then Pharoah's pet wiccans turn the water that's just been turned into blood into blood, so Pharoah's not too impressed (it's worth bearing in mind throughout this story that God keeps on hardening Pharoah's heart, so Pharoah won't be impressed by the tricks God keeps doing, and God will have an excuse to do even better stuff, like kill all the firstborn in Egypt. But I digress.)

Exodus 8:5 And the LORD spake unto Moses, Say unto Aaron, Stretch forth thine hand with thy rod over the streams, over the rivers, and over the ponds, and cause frogs to come up upon the land of Egypt.

6 And Aaron stretched out his hand over the waters of Egypt; and the frogs came up, and covered the land of Egypt. 7 And the magicians did so with their enchantments, and brought up frogs upon the land of Egypt.

Then Aaron and God cover the land of Egypt with frogs, but the Egyptian goths create even more frogs. I'm not entirely sure how popular the Egyptian magicians would have been with their countrymen by this point, but no-one cares what ragheads think anyway. This is as true today as it was then.

16 And the LORD said unto Moses, Say unto Aaron, Stretch out thy rod, and smite the dust of the land, that it may become lice throughout all the land of Egypt.

17 And they did so; for Aaron stretched out his hand with his rod, and smote the dust of the earth, and it became lice in man, and in beast; all the dust of the land became lice throughout all the land of Egypt.
18 And the magicians did so with their enchantments to bring forth lice, but they could not: so there were lice upon man, and upon beast. 19 Then the magicians said unto Pharaoh, This is the finger of God: and Pharaoh's heart was hardened, and he hearkened not unto them; as the LORD had said.

So, God and Aaron turn the dust into lice, and the magicians try and fail to match this achievement. Then they (the Egyptian magicians) recognise God's power at work.
There is a valuable lesson in this story for the Christian youth of today. If the "cool kids" at your school try to tempt you to do sinful things like smoking marijuana or fornicating out of wedlock or listen to Catholic bands like Cannibal Corpse, and they try and impress you by turning rods into snakes, or water into blood, just ask them to try and turn dust into lice. There is no way they'll be able to do it. Only God can do that. They'll be shown up like the losers they are.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Hushed_Agony's Avatar
Hushed_Agony Hushed_Agony is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 105
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Lousyana
Hushed_Agony has had a couple of people click the rep button.Hushed_Agony has had a couple of people click the rep button.Hushed_Agony has had a couple of people click the rep button.Hushed_Agony has had a couple of people click the rep button.
Default Re: A tale of God and lice - 10-12-2006, 04:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
There is a valuable lesson in this story for the Christian youth of today. If the "cool kids" at your school try to tempt you to do sinful things like smoking marijuana or fornicating out of wedlock or listen to Catholic bands like Cannibal Corpse, and they try and impress you by turning rods into snakes, or water into blood, just ask them to try and turn dust into lice. There is no way they'll be able to do it. Only God can do that. They'll be shown up like the losers they are.
Praise Brother T! I have been down that road and have been in those shoes. There has been alot of things said, done etc......but from the KJV1611, never a feat has been done in my eyes. A great teaching Brother T. Thank you. I am sure the unsaved trash will heed the power of God and all of His glory. And if not, then they will burn bright, smell bad and scream in agony at the hands, phallus and words of Satan and his demons.
YIC
Hushed


And ye shall tread down the wicked; for they shall be ashes under the soles of your feet in the day that I shall do this, saith the Lord of hosts. Malachi 4.3

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Pslams 51:7
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
bridging-the-gap bridging-the-gap is offline
Unsaved trash
 
 
Posts: 90
Join Date: Oct 2006
bridging-the-gap is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: A tale of God and lice - 10-12-2006, 05:02 PM

that is so wrong!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post

[Since all True Christians™ know all about scripture, there's no need to repeat all of BT's brilliant post /PD]

Last edited by Pastor Rune Enoe; 10-13-2006 at 11:33 PM. Reason: Since all True Christians™ know all about scripture, there's no need to repeat all of BT's brilliant post
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Talitha's Avatar
Talitha Talitha is offline
Deaconess
Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Long service medal, 3rd class Real American™ Gunfest '08 Cleanest Kitchen Platinum Tither True Christian Lady True Christian Provider™ award Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life TC Bravery Ex-Brit True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Long service medal, 2nd class Early riser Touched by Jesus Donald Trump 2016! Pastor Ezekiel Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: A tale of God and lice - 10-12-2006, 05:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bridging-the-gap View Post
that is so wrong!


The Biblical Text or Brother Temperances attempt to teach the young some True Christian™ values?



Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Hushed_Agony's Avatar
Hushed_Agony Hushed_Agony is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 105
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Lousyana
Hushed_Agony has had a couple of people click the rep button.Hushed_Agony has had a couple of people click the rep button.Hushed_Agony has had a couple of people click the rep button.Hushed_Agony has had a couple of people click the rep button.
Default Re: A tale of God and lice - 10-12-2006, 05:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bridging-the-gap View Post
that is so wrong!
No..you're so wrong!. That is the TRUTH! Read it, listen to it and let it soak in.


And ye shall tread down the wicked; for they shall be ashes under the soles of your feet in the day that I shall do this, saith the Lord of hosts. Malachi 4.3

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Pslams 51:7
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Brother V's Avatar
Brother V Brother V is offline
True Christian™ Nitric Oxide
True Christian™

Long service medal, 1st class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Bronze Tither Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Home Schooled Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 3,477
Join Date: Sep 2006
Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: A tale of God and lice - 10-12-2006, 05:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bridging-the-gap View Post
that is so wrong!
Some losers these days think they can explain away the plagues in Egypt with some form of LOGIC or REASON.

That there was a volcano eruption or something.

That volcano caused a mudslide that made the Nile appear to be blood (but it was actually a reddish mud) and killed the fish.

The second plague of frogs, they claim happened because the frogs all jumped out of the muddy water.

The third plague of lice, they claim was because the people couldn't wash themselves in the bloody water.

The fourth plague of flies they claim happened because there was all kinds of dieing frogs lying around.

The fifth plague of diseased livestock, they blame on the flies, and lice.

The sixth plague, of boils on people they claim was just the lice got infected or something.

The seventh plague, of hail, they claim was actually from the volcano eruption.

The eighth plague of locust they claim was the locusts eating all the knocked over crops that were stirred up from the flaming hail.

The ninth plague of darkness, they claim was the cloud of ash.

The 10th plague of death of the first born was pretty much inevitable as there was no water to drink, no food to eat, people were covered in lice and boils.

But that's all wrong because God did it!

YIC
V
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
bridging-the-gap bridging-the-gap is offline
Unsaved trash
 
 
Posts: 90
Join Date: Oct 2006
bridging-the-gap is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: A tale of God and lice - 10-12-2006, 05:25 PM

logic is what the world is made up from.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother V View Post
Some losers these days think they can explain away the plagues in Egypt with some form of LOGIC or REASON.

That there was a volcano eruption or something.

That volcano caused a mudslide that made the Nile appear to be blood (but it was actually a reddish mud) and killed the fish.

The second plague of frogs, they claim happened because the frogs all jumped out of the muddy water.

The third plague of lice, they claim was because the people couldn't wash themselves in the bloody water.

The fourth plague of flies they claim happened because there was all kinds of dieing frogs lying around.

The fifth plague of diseased livestock, they blame on the flies, and lice.

The sixth plague, of boils on people they claim was just the lice got infected or something.

The seventh plague, of hail, they claim was actually from the volcano eruption.

The eighth plague of locust they claim was the locusts eating all the knocked over crops that were stirred up from the flaming hail.

The ninth plague of darkness, they claim was the cloud of ash.

The 10th plague of death of the first born was pretty much inevitable as there was no water to drink, no food to eat, people were covered in lice and boils.

But that's all wrong because God did it!

YIC
V
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: A tale of God and lice - 10-12-2006, 05:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bridging-the-gap View Post
logic is what the world is made up from.


Huh? Did you just say "logic is what we base our shared delusion on?"



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
bridging-the-gap bridging-the-gap is offline
Unsaved trash
 
 
Posts: 90
Join Date: Oct 2006
bridging-the-gap is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: A tale of God and lice - 10-12-2006, 05:53 PM

no but logic is true!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Huh? Did you just say "logic is what we base our shared delusion on?"
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: A tale of God and lice - 10-12-2006, 06:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bridging-the-gap View Post
no but logic is true!


So you are saying your delusition is the truth?



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
SalvationSeeker's Avatar
SalvationSeeker SalvationSeeker is offline
True Christian™ Theologian
Forum Member
 
Posts: 3,979
Join Date: Sep 2006
SalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: A tale of God and lice - 10-12-2006, 06:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bridging-the-gap View Post
no but logic is true!
DIVINE logic is true, that is the kind of logic that is based on the Bible. (KJV1611)
Sickular logic is FALSE, as is everything in opposition to the KJV1611.


If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
SUV's Avatar
SUV SUV is offline
True Christian™ Princess
The Driving Force behind RA12
Have at it, anytime!

Long service medal, 1st class One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Ribfest '08 True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Saved 10 Years Best Pie True Christian Lady Real American™ Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Christian Love Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork True Republican Princess

 
Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: A tale of God and lice - 10-12-2006, 06:38 PM

Oooh, Goodie! This is just like Bible Study with Uncle Harry except we're not having a quiz or a Deuteronomy Deul - are we?

And I know, Brother T, that you would never, ever make me sit next to that bald-headed "Man!"

SUV
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Fish's Avatar
Fish (On Moderation) Fish is offline
Muttonheaded homer -- very confused young man
On the point of being banned for lying and libel
Foul Sinner on Moderation
 
Posts: 317
Join Date: Oct 2006
Fish is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: A tale of God and lice - 10-13-2006, 03:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
There is a valuable lesson in this story for the Christian youth of today. If the "cool kids" at your school try to tempt you to do sinful things like smoking marijuana or fornicating out of wedlock or listen to Catholic bands like Cannibal Corpse, and they try and impress you by turning rods into snakes, or water into blood, just ask them to try and turn dust into lice. There is no way they'll be able to do it. Only God can do that. They'll be shown up like the losers they are.
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
SalvationSeeker's Avatar
SalvationSeeker SalvationSeeker is offline
True Christian™ Theologian
Forum Member
 
Posts: 3,979
Join Date: Sep 2006
SalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: A tale of God and lice - 10-13-2006, 07:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fish View Post
Do you consider the word of God amusing, homer?
We aren't here to entertain mockers like you, and the KJV1611 wasn't written for such purposes either!
Get thee hence and go to hell.


If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
Brother Temperance's Avatar
Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
Senior Usher
True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
A very nice young man
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 2nd class Christian Love Saved 5 Years The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Heterosexual™ Ex-Christ-Killer Public Awareness Medal Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus TC Bravery Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Ex-Brit True Republican Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: A tale of God and lice - 10-13-2006, 11:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SalvationSeeker View Post
Do you consider the word of God amusing, homer?
We aren't here to entertain mockers like you, and the KJV1611 wasn't written for such purposes either!
Get thee hence and go to hell.
The evidence for this homer being a Papist dog is mounting. Not only does he name himself after the Catlick false idol, Dagon, but the very mention of the notorious Mary-Hailers Cannibal Corpse brings an involuntary smile to his lips. This is a True ChristianChurch, my fishy friend, and followers of the false Roman whore cult are not welcome here! Begone!


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
Fish's Avatar
Fish (On Moderation) Fish is offline
Muttonheaded homer -- very confused young man
On the point of being banned for lying and libel
Foul Sinner on Moderation
 
Posts: 317
Join Date: Oct 2006
Fish is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: A tale of God and lice - 10-15-2006, 11:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
The evidence for this homer being a Papist dog is mounting. Not only does he name himself after the Catlick false idol, Dagon, but the very mention of the notorious Mary-Hailers Cannibal Corpse brings an involuntary smile to his lips. This is a True ChristianChurch, my fishy friend, and followers of the false Roman whore cult are not welcome here! Begone!
Cannibal Corpse is *NOT* a Catholic band, they are quiete the opposite.
Reply With Quote
(#17)
Old
Talitha's Avatar
Talitha Talitha is offline
Deaconess
Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Long service medal, 3rd class Real American™ Gunfest '08 Cleanest Kitchen Platinum Tither True Christian Lady True Christian Provider™ award Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life TC Bravery Ex-Brit True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Long service medal, 2nd class Early riser Touched by Jesus Donald Trump 2016! Pastor Ezekiel Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: A tale of God and lice - 10-16-2006, 09:14 AM

Quote:
1. Meat Hook Sodomy (Cannibal Corpses)

Butchery my meat hooks sharpened to penetrate
Emasculate, gouging crotches I will eat
Hung upside down, holes punctured through half-chewed
Gristle, debauchery, with dead bodeys turning green
Upheaveal of human entrails
Deterioration of grated genitals, dangling from the hooks
Obscene feeling deep inside me
Dislocating, separating a blood-drenched body
Begin the anal grouting.....................continued pretty much the same.

Sounds like another day at the Orifice for your average Cattylick Priest.



Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



Reply With Quote
(#18)
Old
Brother Temperance's Avatar
Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
Senior Usher
True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
A very nice young man
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 2nd class Christian Love Saved 5 Years The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Heterosexual™ Ex-Christ-Killer Public Awareness Medal Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus TC Bravery Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Ex-Brit True Republican Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: A tale of God and lice - 10-16-2006, 04:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fish View Post
Cannibal Corpse is *NOT* a Catholic band, they are quiete the opposite.
1 John 2:22 Who is a liar but he that denieth that Jesus is the Christ? He is antichrist, that denieth the Father and the Son.

The Pope is an wizened old lump of antichristian flesh that thinks he's a cannibal. It's not hard to see where they got the name from.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
Reply With Quote
(#19)
Old
Fish's Avatar
Fish (On Moderation) Fish is offline
Muttonheaded homer -- very confused young man
On the point of being banned for lying and libel
Foul Sinner on Moderation
 
Posts: 317
Join Date: Oct 2006
Fish is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: A tale of God and lice - 10-16-2006, 11:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
1 John 2:22 Who is a liar but he that denieth that Jesus is the Christ? He is antichrist, that denieth the Father and the Son.

The Pope is an wizened old lump of antichristian flesh that thinks he's a cannibal. It's not hard to see where they got the name from.
John 6:53

Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, ye have no life in you.

Are all Christians cannibals?
Reply With Quote
(#20)
Old
Brother Temperance's Avatar
Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
Senior Usher
True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
A very nice young man
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 2nd class Christian Love Saved 5 Years The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Heterosexual™ Ex-Christ-Killer Public Awareness Medal Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus TC Bravery Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Ex-Brit True Republican Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: A tale of God and lice - 10-17-2006, 11:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fish View Post
John 6:53

Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, ye have no life in you.

Are all Christians cannibals?
You're quoting that out of context, heathen.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved