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  #661  
Old 03-01-2014, 08:37 AM
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Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

How do you get a hippy pregnant?

Spill your seed on the ground and let the flies do the rest!
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  #662  
Old 03-02-2014, 05:20 PM
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arthur frayn is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.arthur frayn is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.arthur frayn is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

How do you tell the Irish from the Scots?

The Irish pray on their knees,

The Scots prey on their neighbors.
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  #663  
Old 03-03-2014, 05:34 AM
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Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What do you call a blonde doing a hand stand?

A brunette with bad breath.
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  #664  
Old 03-03-2014, 06:08 AM
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Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

A woman goes to the doctor with severe bruises and lacerations.

Doctor: "What happened?"

Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp."

Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow until he goes to bed and is asleep."

Two weeks later, the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.

Woman: "Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he didn't touch me!"

Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"
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  #665  
Old 03-05-2014, 11:26 AM
Submissive wife Submissive wife is offline
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

A nancy boy walked into a bar; it was a cast iron bar with a serrated edge, it took his head clean off.. Haha.
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  #666  
Old 03-05-2014, 11:51 AM
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Russell Holbeck Russell Holbeck is offline
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Hello Landover Baptist Church.

Here is a joke my Catholic neighbor told me she smells like lavender:

A Chinese man opened a dry cleaning store next to a convent. The Chinese man went to the convent and knocked on the door and a nun answered and the Chinese man asked her if she had any dirty habits.

I do not think the nun answered him maybe I forgot the rest of the joke.

Thank you.

Rusty
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  #667  
Old 03-07-2014, 03:03 PM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

I haven't posted in a mighty long time
and alas my jest doth not even rhyme
but tis very funny and tis also true
I copied and pasted it just for you!



A doctor from France says: "In France, the medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's testicles; we put them into another man, and in 6 weeks he is looking for work." The German doctor comments: "That's nothing, in Germany we take part of the brain out of a person; we put it into another person's head, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work." A Russian doctor says: "That's nothing either. In Russia we take out half of the heart from a person; we put it into another person's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for work." The U.S. doctor answers immediately: "That's nothing my colleagues, you are way behind us in the USA, about 5 years ago, we grabbed a person from Kenya with no brains, no heart, and no balls and we made him President of the United States, and now....... the whole #$%$ country is looking for work!
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  #668  
Old 03-09-2014, 10:39 PM
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Elijah Mee, PhD Elijah Mee, PhD is offline
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Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What's the difference between my coffee and my women? I like my coffee black.

How is society like a washing machine? Whites shouldn't mix with blacks.
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But they mocked the messengers of God, and despised his words, and misused his prophets, until the wrath of the LORD arose against his people, till there was no remedy. (2 Chronicles 36:16)


Guides and teachings:
The Bible is perfect and contains ZERO contradictions: A True Christian™ guide to logic
Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals: A guide for those without the "gaydar"

Horrible things that you should avoid:
NOFX: My ears will never recover
Resident Evil 3: Feminazis' misandrist propaganda
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  #669  
Old 03-10-2014, 12:38 AM
LordBoneHead LordBoneHead is offline
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder

Bartender asks "Hey man where'd you get that thing?"

Parrot replies, "Africa man, there's thousands of 'em"

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  #670  
Old 03-10-2014, 01:30 AM
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Elijah Mee, PhD Elijah Mee, PhD is offline
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Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by LordBoner View Post
Black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder

Bartender asks "Hey man where'd you get that thing?"

Parrot replies, "Africa man, there's thousands of 'em"

Classic.
__________________
But they mocked the messengers of God, and despised his words, and misused his prophets, until the wrath of the LORD arose against his people, till there was no remedy. (2 Chronicles 36:16)


Guides and teachings:
The Bible is perfect and contains ZERO contradictions: A True Christian™ guide to logic
Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals: A guide for those without the "gaydar"

Horrible things that you should avoid:
NOFX: My ears will never recover
Resident Evil 3: Feminazis' misandrist propaganda
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  #671  
Old 03-19-2014, 12:55 PM
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Yea-tho-we-walk is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Yea-tho-we-walk is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Yea-tho-we-walk is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Yea-tho-we-walk is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Yea-tho-we-walk is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Yea-tho-we-walk is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Yea-tho-we-walk is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Yea-tho-we-walk is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Yea-tho-we-walk is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Yea-tho-we-walk is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Yea-tho-we-walk is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland? There aren't three wise men there!
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  #672  
Old 03-19-2014, 02:11 PM
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Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What do you call a white man surrounded by 5 negros?
- A victim

What do you call a white man surrounded by 500 negros?
- A prison warden
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"Abnormal, a horrible cancerous tumor in the body of society, homosexuals are perverts, whose sexual drive the Devil has used as his strongest weapon against God. A person cannot be a Christian and a homosexual at the same time, homosexuality is chosen, not inborn, and everybody can be set free and delivered."

- Pastor Ake Green
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  #673  
Old 03-19-2014, 04:54 PM
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arthur frayn arthur frayn is offline
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arthur frayn is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.arthur frayn is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.arthur frayn is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What do you say to a negroe in a 3-piece suit?






"Will the defendent please rise"



OK, so this guy goes to his pastor and asks, "Father, my dog died and I wonder if you can perform a funeral mass for him?"

The priest says "We really dont have services for dogs in the church, but try the baptists down the block, who knows what they might do"

Guy says "OK, I'll thy them. Do you think $5,000 would cover a nice service?"

The priest says "Oh, you didnt tell me the dog was catholic"
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  #674  
Old 03-28-2014, 12:06 AM
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Titus Templeton Titus Templeton is online now
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Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Pope Francis suspects his emeritus Benedict of messing with his favorite altar boy, so he puts a guillotine chastity belt on him.
He returns from a foreign tour, and has all bishops line up and strip. Every one is missing their penis, except Benedict.
Pope Francis falls to his knees, cries, "Benedict, you are the only honest person here. What can I do to regain your trust?"
Benedict replies, "Mppphfggggll."
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  #675  
Old 04-18-2014, 07:52 AM
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Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Witch Hammer is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Nobody could tell a Polack joke like Ronald Regan!

"How do you tell the Polish one at a cockfight?"
"He's the one with the duck."
"How do you tell the Italian?"
"He bet on the duck."
"How do you know the Mafia is there?"
"The duck wins."

Aside from being a good joke, it is also very informative. Its difficult to tell the difference between a polack and a wop, on account of all subhumans looking alike.

See you in Heaven, Gip!
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