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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Biff Banner Biff Banner is offline
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Default Halllujah! - 03-10-2012, 01:27 PM
Hey there
The Biffster here and I'm a solid Warrior For Christ Jesus, thank the Lord I found this sanctuary for True Christians amongst the secular cesspit America has become
My favourite bible verse is
Exodus 12:12 For I will pass through the land of Egypt this night, and will SMITE all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, both man and beast; and against all the gods of Egypt I will execute judgment: I amthe LORD. All of the atheists and Islamics are in for a smiting when the LORD returns in the Rapture! Jesus made me one of His own when I was BORN! Hallelujah!
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Default Re: Halllujah! - 03-10-2012, 02:38 PM
Hello, there Biff. So nice to see someone introduce themselves proper wise.

How many warriors have you sired with your wife?

YIC
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Default Re: Halllujah! - 03-10-2012, 02:39 PM
Welcome

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.
Genesis, 1. 1
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Default Re: Halllujah! - 03-10-2012, 02:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Biff Banner View Post
Hey there
The Biffster here and I'm a solid Warrior For Christ Jesus, thank the Lord I found this sanctuary for True Christians amongst the secular cesspit America has become
My favourite bible verse is
Exodus 12:12 For I will pass through the land of Egypt this night, and will SMITE all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, both man and beast; and against all the gods of Egypt I will execute judgment: I amthe LORD. All of the atheists and Islamics are in for a smiting when the LORD returns in the Rapture! Jesus made me one of His own when I was BORN! Hallelujah!
Praise the Lord, we finally have someone who knows the meaning of introduction. I admit that it is difficult sometimes, since most new visitors come here not to introduce themselves, but to raise a scuffle about our beliefs.

Welcome, friend . Tell us about your wife! If you don't have one, we have an active singles' forum here!

Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"
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Default Re: Halllujah! - 03-10-2012, 02:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Biff Banner View Post
Hey there
The Biffster here and I'm a solid Warrior For Christ Jesus, thank the Lord I found this sanctuary for True Christians amongst the secular cesspit America has become
My favourite bible verse is
Exodus 12:12 For I will pass through the land of Egypt this night, and will SMITE all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, both man and beast; and against all the gods of Egypt I will execute judgment: I amthe LORD. All of the atheists and Islamics are in for a smiting when the LORD returns in the Rapture! Jesus made me one of His own when I was BORN! Hallelujah!
"Biffster" ? "Favourite" ? Are you some kind of fish-n-chips homo?

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

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Default Re: Halllujah! - 03-10-2012, 03:23 PM
Biffmeister - Dude, this not the taco shanty. This is a place of proper God worship.

We have no time for you 'stoners' to hang out, disrupt things with absurd comments like "Duuuuude!! Did you see the trails I can make with my hand???" We have no interest in your little stories about your insane hallucinations.

Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Halllujah! - 03-10-2012, 05:05 PM
Biff, where did you go?

Most people stick around when they introduce themselves. That's very rude and ADD of you to have wandered off.

Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Halllujah! - 03-10-2012, 07:17 PM
Sorry about the delay brothers I've been deep in prayer!! I'm mighty impressed that there's a singles forum on here as I've been keeping myself pure and ready for the Rapture and Jesus. I only use the internets for Bible study otherwise its too worldly. Some backsliders I used to know told me there's all manner of nekkid girls and ladies on the internets but I would never degrade myself to look at 'em even in the interests of checking that a nekkid lady is the same 'kind' as what God did done make!

Are your single ladies nekkid on here? Dang I sure hope not and where in the Bible does it say ladies can go single-looking on the internets anyway?

I do not have long hair neither, even if our Lord Jesus has that fashions sense back in Nazareth that was 2000 years ago! I got me a Godly buzzcut and that's as far as its gonna git with the Biff!

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Default Re: Halllujah! - 03-10-2012, 09:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Biff Banner View Post
I got me a Godly buzzcut and that's as far as its gonna git with the Biff!
I always teach the children that trying to look sexy is the same as rape: Matthew 5:28 "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."

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John 20:29: "...blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed."
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Default Re: Halllujah! - 03-10-2012, 10:02 PM
HALLELUJHA to THAT Techno Bob!
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Default Re: Halllujah! - 03-11-2012, 06:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Biff Banner View Post
I do not have long hair neither, even if our Lord Jesus has that fashions sense back in Nazareth that was 2000 years ago! I got me a Godly buzzcut and that's as far as its gonna git with the Biff!
Boffster - Could you show me the Scripture which describes the length of Jesus' hair?

Note: Paintings by homosexual Renaissance artists like Michelangelo or Leonardo da Vinci are not Scripture.

Thank you.

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Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: Halllujah! - 03-11-2012, 07:57 AM
Dear Rev Rodimer

Your right reverend, there IS no Biblical reference about the length of the Lord Jesus' hair, those dang liberals have made Him out to be some kinda new age hippy with his sandals and dress probably sticking a flower down the barrel of a Roman Centurion's spear!

Why I bet when we meet the Lord very soon when the Rapture hits he's got desert fatigues on and a regimental tattoo with a picture of a skull and His big daddy's True Face on it!

My word you guys at Landover Baptist are the most straight talkin' Christians I've encountered!
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Default Re: Halllujah! - 03-11-2012, 08:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Biff Banner View Post
Dear Rev Rodimer

Your right reverend, there IS no Biblical reference about the length of the Lord Jesus' hair, those dang liberals have made Him out to be some kinda new age hippy with his sandals and dress probably sticking a flower down the barrel of a Roman Centurion's spear!

Why I bet when we meet the Lord very soon when the Rapture hits he's got desert fatigues on and a regimental tattoo with a picture of a skull and His big daddy's True Face on it!

My word you guys at Landover Baptist are the most straight talkin' Christians I've encountered!
The Bible IS straight talking.
2 Peter 2:6 And turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrha into ashes condemned them with an overthrow, making them an ensample unto those that after should live ungodly;

Jude 1:15 To execute judgment upon all, and to convince all that are ungodly among them of all their ungodly deeds which they have ungodly committed, and of all their hard speeches which ungodly sinners have spoken against him.

Do we see any grey area here? I think not!


Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

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Default Re: Halllujah! - 03-11-2012, 10:23 AM
And as for 'straight' talking what about Leviticus! Go Phelps go!
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Default Re: Halllujah! - 03-11-2012, 09:38 PM
So now I'm here amongst True Christians can y'all help me with a question? The Lord justifiably hates many people, animals, places, types of clothes, false religions, evolutionists and so on but what is His stance on GINGERS? I'm not talking auburn hair or anything like that, I mean full on pale skinned freckly freaks with bright carrot tops - does Scripture have anything to say on this matter? Would Jesus really want these evil people inhabiting the Gardens Of Paradise?
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Default Re: Halllujah! - 03-11-2012, 09:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Biff Banner View Post
Dear Rev Rodimer

Your right reverend, there IS no Biblical reference about the length of the Lord Jesus' hair, those dang liberals have made Him out to be some kinda new age hippy with his sandals and dress probably sticking a flower down the barrel of a Roman Centurion's spear!

Why I bet when we meet the Lord very soon when the Rapture hits he's got desert fatigues on and a regimental tattoo with a picture of a skull and His big daddy's True Face on it!

My word you guys at Landover Baptist are the most straight talkin' Christians I've encountered!
How did you learn to talk like that over in Godless Scotland?




Quote:
Originally Posted by Biff Banner View Post
So now I'm here amongst True Christians can y'all help me with a question? The Lord justifiably hates many people, animals, places, types of clothes, false religions, evolutionists and so on but what is His stance on GINGERS? I'm not talking auburn hair or anything like that, I mean full on pale skinned freckly freaks with bright carrot tops - does Scripture have anything to say on this matter? Would Jesus really want these evil people inhabiting the Gardens Of Paradise?

There is a thread on the subject of gingers HERE.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Halllujah! - 03-11-2012, 10:05 PM
From when I lived in the States? God didn't say nuthin about moving house (and country did he)? Scotland is crawling with Gingers sir
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Default Re: Halllujah! - 03-12-2012, 12:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Biff Banner View Post
Why I bet when we meet the Lord very soon when the Rapture hits he's got desert fatigues on and a regimental tattoo with a picture of a skull and His big daddy's True Face on it!
Biffmeister... Our precious Lord and Savior would NOT have such a tattoo displayed on his heavenly body.

Leviticus 19:28
Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any markes vpon you: I am the Lord.


Always Yours In Christ

Deuteronomy 22:21
21.Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Halllujah! - 03-12-2012, 12:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Biff Banner View Post
From when I lived in the States? God didn't say nuthin about moving house (and country did he)? Scotland is crawling with Gingers sir
You don't live in the United States. Our JesOS Operating System has sorted you out.

Time to come clean for Christ. Put down the Jameson's, and pick up a Bible, Scotty.

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Halllujah! - 03-12-2012, 10:28 AM
Where I live is irrelevant, I am as Landover Baptist as the next True Christian.
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