[Pastor Ezekiel]

OK, y'all. Because of my intimate communication with Jesus Christ I can now say that Jesus will once again appear on this very forum on His Birthday, Christmas Day. So you may ask Him anything and He'll answer a few of your most burning questions. Incidentally our tithing treasury is also burning for YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS! Don't forget your Advent tithe and Christmas Eve tithe and Christmas Day tithe and the Boxing day tithe! Covfefe! The better you tithe the more Jesus will have time to answer your questions.

I'll start: What's you favorite Christmas dish? Do you agree with Donald about your choices?

Christmas Day dinner at Mar-a-Lago included five desserts — Piña Colada Crème Brulée, Brilliant Cheesecake, Black Forest Trifle Martini, Bread Pudding and the commander-in-chief’s signature confection, Trump Chocolate Cake.

The Associated Press said the menu started with Mr. Trump’s Wedge Salad, as the first of four salad or soup options.

Entrees included turkey, char crusted filet mignon and seared foie gras, braised short ribs, pan seared seabass and diver scallops.

https://www.aol.com/article/news/201.../?guccounter=1

OK, y'all may post your questions now!

[Brother Gonzalez]

Hi Jesus! I am thinking on creating a foundation against Artificial Intelligence, since is the most obvious atheist campaign to replace you and your Dad.Problem is my Communist government has a restriction on the amount of donations I can take from taxes. And I am already putting a lot in tithes.
Should I cut the tithes and use the money in the new foundation?
I hope you understand why asking Pastors about this will not produce any results.


Sincerely and completely yours,


Brother Gonzalez

[Cranky Old Man]

Can we do requests as well? If so, I would please like to die. I have been waiting for Heaven for 91 years now. I cannot wait to meet Jesus in person and look down on the people burning in Hell and laughing and laughing over their suffering for all eternity. Perhaps Jesus can kill Obama as well. I especially want to see Obama burn in Hell for all eternity.

[Dana723]

My Loving Saviour,


My husband and I always said we'd have as many sons as God would allow. Sadly, we only had five. Can you speak with Your Father about why this has happened and ask Him to open my womb again so we can have more sons for His glory?


Respectfully Yours,


Dana Q.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Dear Jesus. Please can you explain to us (so we may explain to atheists) once and for all why you created the parasitic wasp? Yours, Anthony

Parasitoids influenced the thinking of Charles Darwin, who wrote in an 1860 letter to the American naturalist Asa Gray: "I cannot persuade myself that a beneficent and omnipotent God would have designedly created parasitic wasps with the express intention of their feeding within the living bodies of Caterpillars."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ySwuQhruBo

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

What do you want a wasp that doesn't bother you or cockroaches that do?

[Jesus]

Me!


Where's the worship in expectation of Me? Not since the year 155 BM have my forums and agoras been so empty of inquisitive sinners. Perhaps I'll replace My usual Q&A session with a good smiting

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

I apologize, Jesus, on behalf of humanity. Forgive us for our apathy.

I can only wonder, perhaps it's time for you to return to this Earth? The people are ready, they're desperate to see you again but they forget to log in and they're busy supporting Trump. So many things going on... your supporters are tired of winning. I think it explains your pathetic 7 post count this Christmas.

P.S. If it's in your power, I've always wanted 10". Could you arrange that for me?

P.P.S. Thanks for defeating ISIS in time for the holidays. Big win for Trump!

[Dennis Lukes]

Dear Lord,

I'm so sick of hearing the libs thinking they're going to vote out The Donald in 2020. Will you please declare him King of America, to shut them up?


Yours in You,
Dennis Lukes

[DolliMoans]

I believe you in YOU, but can I believe its not butter?

[Dana723]

Originally Posted by DolliMoans

I believe you in YOU, but can I believe its not butter?

DOLLI! You're alive! That's wonderful - we were so worried! Did you lose some more family members?

[Jim C. Lombardo]

Here are my questions -

How's your Daddy?

When are you returning in the flesh?

What are the five chief contraindications associated with adverse affects of sildenafil and/or N-desmethylsildenafil?

Please and thank you, Jesus.

[DolliMoans]

Originally Posted by Dana723

DOLLI! You're alive! That's wonderful - we were so worried! Did you lose some more family members?

No dear. I recently came under fire from the MeToo$ movement from my own estranged daughter Adelaide. I had to go into long-term hiding. It's all lies of course.

[Dana723]

Originally Posted by DolliMoans

No dear. I recently came under fire from the MeToo$ movement from my own estranged daughter Adelaide. I had to go into long-term hiding. It's all lies of course.

That sounds like quite an ordeal!

[Dennis Lukes]

Originally Posted by DolliMoans

No dear. I recently came under fire from the MeToo$ movement from my own estranged daughter Adelaide. I had to go into long-term hiding. It's all lies of course.

What did this young woman accuse her loving mother of doing to her, exactly? Could you provide us with some details (perhaps with suitably descriptive adjectives thrown in, however unpleasant they may be) so that we may know exactly how to pray for your deliverance?

[Jesus]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

I'll start: What's you favorite Christmas dish? Do you agree with Donald about your choices?

ZekeJohn used to be My favorite but it's you now. You've serviced Me good! I like a bacon burger with freedom fries and mayo. Bless Me!

[Jesus]

Originally Posted by Brother Gonzalez

Hi Jesus! I am thinking on creating a foundation against Artificial Intelligence, since is the most obvious atheist campaign to replace you and your Dad.Problem is my Communist government has a restriction on the amount of donations I can take from taxes. And I am already putting a lot in tithes.
Should I cut the tithes and use the money in the new foundation?
I hope you understand why asking Pastors about this will not produce any results.

Sincerely and completely yours,

Brother Gonzalez

OK. You're one of My elect but still a simpleton so I'll try to make this clear. No! Yo should tithe more, not less. Yes, you should use the money for the foundation. Tithe and I'll give you a nice taco in Heaven. I need a car like this one.

[Jesus]

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man

Can we do requests as well? If so, I would please like to die. I have been waiting for Heaven for 91 years now. I cannot wait to meet Jesus in person and look down on the people burning in Hell and laughing and laughing over their suffering for all eternity. Perhaps Jesus can kill Obama as well. I especially want to see Obama burn in Hell for all eternity.

Request granted. I'll smite you on a Tuesday. The Lookout spot is great. You'll see billions gnashing their teeth in flames. You don't have any teeth left do you? Here's a preview of Barack accepted for all audiences.

[Jesus]

Originally Posted by Dana723

My Loving Saviour,


My husband and I always said we'd have as many sons as God would allow. Sadly, we only had five. Can you speak with Your Father about why this has happened and ask Him to open my womb again so we can have more sons for His glory?


Respectfully Yours,


Dana Q.

Yes, I can.

[Jesus]

Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole

Dear Jesus. Please can you explain to us (so we may explain to atheists) once and for all why you created the parasitic wasp? Yours, Anthony

I made them for Myself for the day of evil, yo nincompoop!

Proverbs 16:4
The LORD hath made all things for himself: yea, even the wicked for the day of evil.