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Default God, Prayer, and the Cold Caller - 12-17-2010, 12:30 AM

I got to thinking about prayer the other day. 1.2Bilion so-called Christians are on the planet, each one asking God to do something that’s not in His Plan. There are 86,400 seconds in a day, so that’s 1,389 in-coming prayers per second. And then the phone rang.

I answered it because Nephew Zebulun said he would ring from Switzerland where he and Miss Honey are researching the heresies of John Knox. But it wasn’t him at all; it was some idiot asking if I wished to buy anti-virus software. I put the phone down and no sooner had I sat down than it rang again. This time it was someone who wanted to know what cable channels I had. I sat down again and the ‘phone rang! It was a foreigner! I gathered he wanted to have me change my Operating system to something other than JesOS! I quoted M't:23:33 and slammed the ‘phone down!

I was now in a state of great annoyance and about to phone the DoF and Bobby-Joe and the Boys, when the ‘phone rang again! I picked it up and shouted some well chosen words down it… it was Nephew Zebulun wanting my credit card to fill up the jet. Of course, I apologized and gave him the details and insisted he take $10,000 for his own expenses. He thanked me kindly and said he would send photographs of him and Miss Honey at the après-ski, which I shall enjoy seeing.

Now I sat back, quite relaxed and realized God had spoken to me.

Were not all those cold-calls the same as prayers from false Christians, the type that God ignores or tells the caller to jump into a lake of fire? And was not the call from Zebulun, the same as the prayer from a True Christian™ in which God grants all their desires and more besides?


So, the only conclusion is that if you have not had each and every prayer answered, you are hell-bound.

Truly He works in Mysterious Ways His Wonders to perform.





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Default Re: God, Prayer, and the Cold Caller - 12-18-2010, 05:18 PM

Beautiful thoughts, indeed, Brother.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: God, Prayer, and the Cold Caller - 12-22-2010, 09:51 PM

Just to say your math per second is wrong but a generalization must be made.

Can a true christian pray for themselves ?
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Default Re: God, Prayer, and the Cold Caller - 12-25-2010, 09:13 PM

Amen brother, what a wonderful thought on this Holy day.

I know that my prayers have been answered. Sometimes He says no, but God knows best so I accept it.

Perhaps I should start telling these cold calllers about Jesus. Is there a Chick Tract for telemarketers?


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