Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed! |
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True Christian™ Televangelist Director of Fundraising and Tithing On the Look Out for Wife #6!
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,727
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, Iowa
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Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAPE) -
06-18-2010, 10:04 PM
Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition is a local ministry in Freehold which seeks to enforce local ordinances which ban the sale of pornography. Our ministry is made up exclusively of men, who gather together in homes, and screen the latest filthy movies. We must know what we can enforce bans on and what we cannot. Additional research is also done privately through computer. If you want to stamp out pornography, and have the stomach to endure hours of the most hardcore, disgusting, kinky, graphic films there are, then please sign-up for G.A.P.E.
We generally meet once a week, on Thursday nights in the living rooms of our members. We believe in the utmost privacy and do not want to subject our sensitive women and children to this depravity, so wives and kids cannot be present in the house. Our meetings usually last about 3 hours.
We start off with a prayer, asking God to help us with the tasks that lie ahead. Then, we go over a review of what we did last week and what our goals for this week are. This is then followed by everyone's least favorite part...the screenings. One or two XXX films will be screened. We take notes and at the end of the film, vote whether or not it should be banned in Freehold or not.
Then we each break seperately, for private intense prayer asking God to clean our minds of what we have witnessed. This usually takes 10-15 minutes.
So please, if you want a safer, moral Freehold and want to stamp out the smut, sign up for G.A.P.E. today!
Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.
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Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God True Christian™ Theologian
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,420
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP -
06-18-2010, 10:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne
Then we each break seperately, for private intense prayer asking God to clean our minds of what we have witnessed. This usually takes 10-15 minutes.
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Indeed. As I recall, it was always Whitford's idea to form a circle and have a group prayer after the screenings, but personally, I prefer the intimacy of private supplication before the Lord.
I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
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Landover Senior Outreach Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,237
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Freehold Senior Estates
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Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP -
06-18-2010, 10:28 PM
Bless you Reverend Jim!
As you may know from my introduction, I was once afflicted with the addiction to lesbanian porn on the Internets. If I keep a KJV Bible in my lap, I can help you in returning to my personal hell to do God's work and help the church. To be safe, I cannot break from the group for private prayer as the Devil knows all too well how to drain the Holy Spirit from me.
But before I sacrifice my newly regained spiritual purity, I do have a question... I assume no male-homer pronography will require viewing? I trust such wicked depravity is categorically banned in Freehold? I would not have the stomach to view and would be afraid of being smitten on the spot.
Yours in Christ
Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP -
06-18-2010, 10:32 PM
As always, sign me up.
I am always willing to lend a helping hand do God's work. I am sure if we all pull together, we can get this program off in spectacular fashion. Are they any tools needed or are the hands and words of baby Jesus the Lord provided enough?
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP -
06-18-2010, 10:35 PM
They can't just expect us to hide out inside all day long, right? There has to be some sort of decency in this world, and it stops short of your tan line. Keep it hidden, ladies.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 583
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Melbourne Australia
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Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP -
06-18-2010, 10:49 PM
Rev Jim -
It is a shame that I am not in the US as I could possibly add some valuable insight to the evils of pornography, particularly when you take into account my ex wifes current occupation
A couple of you have requsted samples of her debauchery for the purpose study in the name of Jesus...But I just cannot bring myself to expose you all to to this filth.
The depravity includes goup sex with Supermodels, Lesbian Supermodels indulging in perverted sapphic gratification and a category called DP which is too depraved to describe where True Christian™ women may stumble across this
Oh dear!!!
2 Samuel 22:31
As for God, His way is perfect;
The word of the LORD is proven;
He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
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Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God True Christian™ Theologian
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,420
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP -
06-18-2010, 11:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Swish Davidson
Rev Jim -
It is a shame that I am not in the US as I could possibly add some valuable insight to the evils of pornography, particularly when you take into account my ex wifes current occupation
A couple of you have requsted samples of her debauchery for the purpose study in the name of Jesus...But I just cannot bring myself to expose you all to to this filth.
The depravity includes goup sex with Supermodels, Lesbian Supermodels indulging in perverted sapphic gratification and a category called DP which is too depraved to describe where True Christian™ women may stumble across this
Oh dear!!!
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Sir, your Godly decorum is acceptable unto His eyes. But please, know that after several months of screening one horrific pornographic epic after another, we are very familiar with the vices and unique perversions associated with the DP, DPP, DAP, DVDA, RTF and, of course, the three-eyed turtle.
Kindly submit your wife's videos for condemnation at our next meeting. Thank you.
I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
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Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
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Posts: 14,178
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
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Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP -
06-19-2010, 12:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne
Then we each break seperately, for private intense prayer asking God to clean our minds of what we have witnessed. This usually takes 10-15 minutes.
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I must be Truly Blessed®. I can clear my thought through prayer in less than five minutes. My wife never ceases to be thrilled with that ability.
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 583
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Melbourne Australia
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Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP -
08-22-2010, 02:01 AM
WARNING TO WOMEN - THIS POST CONTAINS DISGUSTING CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR TRUE CHRISTIAN™ LADIES
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Gentlemen
Could someone please advise me of the next proposed meeting date for G.A.P.E.
I have the aforementioned "filth" for presentation, review and subsequent destruction.
I have since come into possession of another 4.25 hours of newly discovered footage (plus out-takes and bloopers) of disgusting group sex debauchery featuring bi-sexual midget girls being pleasured in a frenzied lesbonic fashion by 6'4" Texan supermodels.
There is also the disgusting and frequent use of industrial sized phallic devices
The full synopsis is far too disturbing to post here
Praise Jesus that we will be the only ones exposed to and forced to endure this Satanic cinematographic catastrophe
I feel that this should be given "urgent" status -
Thank you Brothers
Warner S. Davidson
2 Samuel 22:31
As for God, His way is perfect;
The word of the LORD is proven;
He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 165
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: James Dewitt's diamond mine Kimberley Western Australia
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Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP -
08-24-2010, 12:13 PM
Brother Warner.
I am kind of thinking that with yourself, Brother Grogan and me, we could should be doing God's work Down Under here in Oz.
Therefore, maybe (due to distance etc) we could should be having G.A.P.E. meetings here maybe monthly - at least.
We could rotate around sites so that we all take a turn at travelling.
What do you think?
My mobile phone number is 0427 666 xxx.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 583
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Melbourne Australia
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Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP -
08-24-2010, 12:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Disciple Luke
Brother Warner.
I am kind of thinking that with yourself, Brother Grogan and me, we could should be doing God's work Down Under here in Oz.
Therefore, maybe (due to distance etc) we could should be having G.A.P.E. meetings here maybe monthly - at least.
We could rotate around sites so that we all take a turn at travelling.
What do you think?
My mobile phone number is 0427 666 xxx.
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Brother Luke
This idea has a lot of merit.
A local arm of G.A.P.E. would be far more efficient and would also mean that the Godly Pastors and Elders at Freehold would not have to endure all of the filth and depravity that these recruiting films for Satan portray.
(I mean it is not natural nor in God's plan for one man to be simultaneously fonicating with five bisexual supermodel sluts in the one bed - How ridiculous, unbelievable and disgusting )
However it should be noted that we may need to seek formal approval from the good Pastors in Freehold.
In the interim I shall give you a call to discuss and I will also see if this is something that Brother Snapper would be prepared to be exposed to
Warner S. Davidson
2 Samuel 22:31
As for God, His way is perfect;
The word of the LORD is proven;
He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 165
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: James Dewitt's diamond mine Kimberley Western Australia
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Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP -
08-24-2010, 01:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Warner S. Davidson
However it should be noted that we may need to seek formal approval from the good Pastors in Freehold.
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Yes. Of course. Plus, if they do not trust our classification of this obscene material we could forward all tapes to them for a second opinion. Especially at the beginning of our work so that we know we are all following the same guidelines.
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Outdoorsman, Hunter, Fisherman, Husband, True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,565
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Freehold
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Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP -
08-25-2010, 05:35 AM
I would like to join. Is it okay that there will be numerous Thursday nights that I am away?
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 583
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Melbourne Australia
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Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP -
08-25-2010, 09:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seth Campbell
I would like to join. Is it okay that there will be numerous Thursday nights that I am away?
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Brother Seth I cannot see a problem -
It is important that True Christians™ remain abreast of the torrent of lurid and sinful litrature and films which is polluting the minds of young and old alike all over the world.
This way we can ensure that there is no chance of our fine Ministry becoming unwittingly enveloped in Satan's web of sinful productions
2 Samuel 22:31
As for God, His way is perfect;
The word of the LORD is proven;
He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 353
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Waiting for Jesus
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Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP -
08-25-2010, 11:44 PM
Such Godly selflessness! Enduring the horrors of pornography for the greater good of mankind! Praise!
I would like to sign up. However, I recommend that during the observations we sit close together and hold hands in a constant state of prayer. I fear that without this, I may not be able to feel comfortable in a state of Jesus' Grace.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 5
Join Date: Aug 2010
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Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP -
08-27-2010, 08:51 AM
I would like to join, but I live across the country. If I could get a list of the videos, maybe I could view them and add my notes to yours online.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 1
Join Date: Sep 2010
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Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP -
09-13-2010, 11:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Lee
Indeed. As I recall, it was always Whitford's idea to form a circle and have a group prayer after the screenings, but personally, I prefer the intimacy of private supplication before the Lord.
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Are you studip or what? do you really believe all this DOCTRINE? It has to be a joke or something....
Get real and get a life man....
piffle YOU MAN!?!?!?
DENMARK RULES!?!?!
YOU CAN PRAY TO JESUS BIG LOVINGKINDNESS!?!?! The only thing god has in mind for you is a good BJ for him self get a life CHRISTIAN
Last edited by Brother Temperance; 09-13-2010 at 01:14 PM.
Reason: Potty talk removed
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 305
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Virginia
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Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP -
09-13-2010, 11:44 AM
Welcome Danish Kings, we would like it if you would introduce yourself to the forum before posting in the introduction forum. Given your colorful language, I would suggest you tone it down for all the True Christian Women who could be reading your post.
Genesis 4:12: When thou tillest the ground, it shall not henceforth yield unto thee her strength; a fugitive and a vagabond shalt thou be in the earth.
Numbers 35:19: The revenger of blood himself shall slay the murderer: when he meeteth him, he shall slay him.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP -
09-13-2010, 01:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DANISHVIKINGS!?
Are you studip or what?
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Is that Danish for Studly? I know Pastor Ezekiel is meant to be, but I couldn't possibly comment myself.
Well, that certainly seemed like an over-reaction to Larry saying that he prefers private prayer. I actually think that Larry's position is perfectly in line with what Matthew 6:5-6 tells us, would you care to explain to us why you think he's wrong and group prayer sessions would be more appropriate?
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,554
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: Sign up today: Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (GAP -
09-13-2010, 02:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DANISHVIKINGS!?
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That's absurd to suggest I am the only TRUE Christian™
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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