Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for Women For the women of Landover to discuss recipes, shoes, makeup tips, or whatever it is you natter about. Ensure you have the proper permission from your husband or father before posting. |
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Kwanzaa: Ghetto slang for "Let's Go Kill Us Some Crackas!" -
12-10-2007, 12:43 PM
Beware of False Holidays
Freehold, Iowa - Always vigilant about finding things to protest in God's name, the Ladies of Landover (after getting permission from their husbands) disguised themselves as Negroes earlier this week to attend a local Kwaanza party. The Ladies had been tipped off to the all-night party while listening to secretly recorded tapes of their domestics' telephone conversations. At first the Ladies had no idea what "Kwaanza" was in reference to. "It is hard enough to understand what those people are saying," lamented Taffy Davenport Gaines-Crockett, "But when they start making up words you might as well just give up." After listening to the tape five times, Mrs. Venitia Johnson, the town's only known liberal, was called in to decipher. She informed the Ladies of Landover that Kwaanza is actually a black alternative to the celebration of Jesus. "Something to compete with Jesus?" asked Suzzanna Beth Jenkins. "Well, if that don't smack of Satan I don't know what does!"
The Ladies' intention was to find out if this non-Caucasian holiday is of God or the Devil. "Lucifer just lays in wait to prey on the immoral and simple-minded," said Landover Lady vice-president, Judy O'Christian. "So, when we realized it was a Negro-type event, we naturally became suspicious. We wanted to find out if those people were desecrating the baby Jesus' birth. It also provided a wonderful opportunity to see if we could locate sterling flatware that was missing from our homes."
Using coal from their Christmas fireplaces, the Ladies disguised themselves so well that they moved among the party unnoticed. "Our blackened faces made us look like everyone else." Taffy Davenport Gaines-Crockett remarked, "But we were just living in absolute fear that one of us would correctly conjugate a verb and be instantly unmasked. Fortunately, Negroes essentially look so alike that it is difficult to tell them apart, which is why I require my help to wear numbers."
Having never been in a Negro neighborhood, much less a Negro home, the Ladies had no idea what to expect --except the worst. After an ear-piercing hour of profane tribal music, grape soda spritzers made with Thunderbird wine, platters of pickled pigs feet, pork ears stuffed with peanut butter, and fried chicken, the seemingly innocent, though horrendously catered, 'party' changed into something more sinister.
The Ladies reported that, after brief outbursts of gunfire between a few of the guests, the entire party moved into the living-room/crack den to witness the ritual killing of a stolen white child dressed up as the baby Jesus. "I was petrified," Mrs. Gaines remembered, "I was frozen in horror. I couldn't move. I mean, I wanted to at least make sure the child was saved before they killed it, but it would have meant giving ourselves away so I pretended to gnaw on a rum-soaked watermelon rind instead. It tasted dreadful."
These fine, brave saved Christian Ladies had gone into the party knowing that anything could happen, but were confident in Jesus' promise to protect them from savages. "We knew that we were dealing with an unpredictable race of people," said Mrs O'Christian. "And the Kwaanza Festival obviously brings Negroes closer to their voodoo Satanic African roots. In the limousine on the way over we had speculated that sacrifices would probably be somehow a part of Kwaanza. It's not like these people have to worry about staining hand-knotted carpets. But, we just assumed that a small pet would be involved. Not a human!"
After almost being caught, the Ladies made a hasty exit. "None of them noticed that we weren't joining in on stories about ways to break into white people's cars," recounted Taffy, "but one of the women noticed that Sister Marge was wearing a pair of $850 shoes Betty Bowers had loaned her. I knew we were in trouble when Marge corrected the woman, telling her that she had not stolen the shoes from anywhere. After that slip, I knew it wouldn't take long for them to realize we weren't one of them." After complaining that they had to leave because "the Man was making them work," the Ladies made it out alive to report to an entire congregation the following Sunday. Pastor Deacon Fred mentioned, "We admire the Landover Ladies Club for risking their lives to uncover this horrific ritual of Lucifer." As a result of the Ladies' report, all sanitation workers, dishwashers and gardeners on the Landover campus have been dismissed. The Ladies of Landover are also busy interviewing Mexicans to replace their black domestics. "But we aren't going to actually fire them until after the holidays," reported Judy O'Christian. "They may be killing white babies left and right, but no one wants to be training new help when you are expecting over 250 people over for a Christmas party."
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
|
True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
|
|
Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
|
|
Re: Kwanzaa: Ghetto slang for "Let's Go Kill Us Some Crackas!" -
12-10-2007, 03:35 PM
So True™ Pastor Ezekiel!
And could anyone have failed to notice that this "Kwanzaa" sounds so much like the suicidal Jap Cry of, "Banzai!" ?
|
|
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
|
|
Re: Kwanzaa: Ghetto slang for "Let's Go Kill Us Some Crackas!" -
12-10-2007, 04:00 PM
Praise you Pastor Ezekiel for this timely and informative post. Not enough can be said about the dangers of false holidays and how they dilute the True Meaning of the Holiest day of the year.
Here's another article for church members to read in order to learn about the evils of Kwanzaa:
Quote:
Kwanzaa is May Day with a menorah. This fraudulent “holiday” is an affront to God, America, and the free market. Kwanzaa’s intense glorification of socialist economics should have placed it squarely on the ash heap of history. Instead, with each holiday season, its pernicious tentacles penetrate ever deeper into the national iconography. The mainstream media, forever in search of new ways to display its tolerance, has assimilated Kwanzaa into its pantheon of “approved” holidays.
Kwanzaa has no basis in historical reality, nor any real religious significance. The whole concept of Kwanzaa is based on the same intellectual tradition now championed by Louis Farrakhan and David Duke- racial separatism. Only instead of wanting to send blacks back to Africa- or that elusive mothership of Farrakhan’s fantasies-Kwanzaa contributes to the resegregation of blacks by cordoning them off in a seperate world, seperate from the American mainstream, complete with its own fabricated traditions and godless idols.
By appearing on the calendar between Christmas and New Year’s Day, Kwanzaa strikes at the religious and cultural traditions that bind together Americans of all colors. The vast majority of American, whether black or white, while differing in other respects, long have been united by a common belief in some form of Christianity. It was Christianity that first cut across the color line uniting whites and blacks in a common struggle against slavery and, later, segregation. Kwanzaa threatens to tear asunder this vital bond between the races.
|
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 4
Join Date: Jan 2008
|
|
Re: Kwanzaa: Ghetto slang for "Let's Go Kill Us Some Crackas!" -
01-05-2008, 05:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Beware of False Holidays
Freehold, Iowa - Always vigilant about finding things to protest in God's name, the Ladies of Landover (after getting permission from their husbands) disguised themselves as Negroes earlier this week to attend a local Kwaanza party. The Ladies had been tipped off to the all-night party while listening to secretly recorded tapes of their domestics' telephone conversations. At first the Ladies had no idea what "Kwaanza" was in reference to. "It is hard enough to understand what those people are saying," lamented Taffy Davenport Gaines-Crockett, "But when they start making up words you might as well just give up." After listening to the tape five times, Mrs. Venitia Johnson, the town's only known liberal, was called in to decipher. She informed the Ladies of Landover that Kwaanza is actually a black alternative to the celebration of Jesus. "Something to compete with Jesus?" asked Suzzanna Beth Jenkins. "Well, if that don't smack of Satan I don't know what does!"
|
i just knew there was more to this "kwanzaa" than meets the eye. it is unfortunate that the truth of this unholy day of satanic rituals was not discovered until now. thank you Pastor Ezekiel.
|
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Kwanzaa: Ghetto slang for "Let's Go Kill Us Some Crackas!" -
12-31-2012, 05:00 AM
Shout Glory!!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
|
Unsaved trash, formerly a repentant catholic
Recalcitrant
|
|
Posts: 21
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Protecting My God Given 2nd Amendment Rights From Obama.
|
|
Re: Kwanzaa: Ghetto slang for "Let's Go Kill Us Some Crackas!" -
12-31-2012, 06:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Shout Glory!!
|
GLORY!!!!!!!!!
|
|
Forum Member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 137
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Versailles KY
|
|
Re: Kwanzaa: Ghetto slang for "Let's Go Kill Us Some Crackas!" -
12-31-2012, 01:41 PM
oooooh this is so frightening!!! Is my life in danger from savages?
Are you Washed in the Blood of the Lamb?
|
|
Forum Member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 136
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: NOT San Francisco
|
|
Re: Kwanzaa: Ghetto slang for "Let's Go Kill Us Some Crackas!" -
12-31-2012, 06:13 PM
Kwanzaa? Who's that a rap musician or somethin'?
Ephesians 5:22-24
22*Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23*For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24*Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 34
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: San Antonio
|
|
Re: Kwanzaa: Ghetto slang for "Let's Go Kill Us Some Crackas!" -
01-02-2013, 02:01 AM
There are some colored people in the apartments opposite. I heard strange noises the last week. As if they were doing something bad to pigs and goats. I was frightened and my mother was crying.
Consuela
|
|
Hates Obama. Really Hates Obama. Actually, REALLY REALLY REALLY Hates Obama.
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 882
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Trump Train!
|
|
Re: Kwanzaa: Ghetto slang for "Let's Go Kill Us Some Crackas!" -
01-08-2013, 02:20 PM
I still don't know what that holiday represents. The news clip showed it as a wild mardi gra ...of darker sorts.
Please always stay far away, Sisters in Christ.
Abstain from all appearance of evil. ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:22
YSiC
But whosoever shall deny me before men,
him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.
~Matt. 10:33
~~~~~~~
Theme song in hell: "I Did it My Way"
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|