Satan's Entertainment Discussion for Movies/TV/Music/Video Games/Pop Culture. How HELLY-wood is destroying our society and parents can learn to protect their children from sinful influences like Disney, Pacman, and Tic-Tac-Toe. |
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Matt 19:14 Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
True Christian™
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Posts: 816
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL -
09-28-2015, 07:30 AM
Last Christmas one of my star pupils gave me a calendar. Each month has a different scene featuring Jesus. They are all wonderful, but the one in which Christ bathes in His own blood is just a sight to behold. I behold it two or three times a week before bed! Glory hallelujah!
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Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ, -Youth Minister Harry Lester
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL -
10-19-2015, 02:28 AM
Harry, that is so inspiring! It reminds me of one of my favorite prints I keep in the home (in the parlor where everyone can see it). It's called "Soaking In Glory," by Tamer and Cindy Elsharouni.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL -
10-20-2015, 12:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
Harry, that is so inspiring! It reminds me of one of my favorite prints I keep in the home (in the parlor where everyone can see it). It's called "Soaking In Glory," by Tamer and Cindy Elsharouni.
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Like manna from Heaven! What a stunningly beautiful picture. It makes my heart swell for love.
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Apostle to the Samites and Laplander Eskimos.
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Posts: 5,720
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Surrounded by feral eskimos.
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Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL -
10-20-2015, 05:17 AM
I think these pictures I've bought are just wonderful. They are so on the spot topical with these times we are living.
HEY UN! Wake up! Stop your silliness and turn to one GOD!
Don't worry Liberty bell! I'll protect you from Obama!
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Unsaved trash, avowed godmocker
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Posts: 187
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: New York
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Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL -
10-20-2015, 10:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White
Brethren,
I initially introduced this systematic method of art assessment based on four Godly criteria:
1. Craftsmanship and general quality
2. Compatibility with the Bible
3. Usefulness in a True Christian™ message
4. Potential risks of the image
I'd now like to add an important new criterion based on the historical developments during the last few months. Subject matter.
1 Corinthians 14:32
And the spirits of the prophets are subject to the prophets.
As we now have new-found hope and - dare I say - the new and probably the last great prophet before the End of Times, it is only appropriate that great art has been produced depicting HIM. We've seen earlier that nor does Satan fail to meddle, as atheist demonic art has also been produced modelling this great person. We need not reproduce those vile images here. Let us concentrate on real high-quality artwork instead!
1. Craftsmanship and general quality
- Excellent proficiency of the visual art techniques. The background decorations are first class and obviously the subject matter is wonderful.
2. Compatibility with the Bible
- This conveys perfectly the Christian message of Great Kings and Great Prophets.
- Luke 7:26 - But what went ye out for to see? A prophet? Yea, I say unto you, and much more than a prophet.
- Verily, much more than a prophet. The Leader of the Free World and a Personal Friend of Christ, our Lord.
3. Usefulness in a True Christian™ message
- Very useful, shows in glory the man we should follow and revere. This leads children to obedience and subjugation.
- Romans 5:19 - For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so by the obedience of one shall many be made righteous.
4. Potential risks of the image
- I can see quite a few True Christian™ women falling behind in their domestic chores as they'll spend hours before this image admiring and contemplating it.
Second painting. This one is initially confusing but do not let your prejudices regarding modern art (this one is impressionist abstract pop-art surrealism) distract you. Let us give this piece an unbiased assessment!
1. Craftsmanship and general quality
- Again, very skilled albeit not with quite as much virtuosity as in the first image.
2. Compatibility with the Bible
- Many critics have taken this piece as criticism targeted at the Donald. That is a mistake. This image is extremely Biblical. First of all, it associates the Donald with nutritive items of processed meats. You may ask where the message is. I say, this is the message:
- Matthew 4:4 - But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.
- Verily, not bread alone. We also need a Godly message. The Donald can provide us with that message. Of course, in addition to bread we also need processed meats (Genesis 9:3) which is taken into account in a delightful manner in this great piece of art!
3. Usefulness in a True Christian™ message
- Extremely useful by emphasizing the significance of the Word of God in the midst of gluttony and processed meats.
4. Potential risks of the image
- I can see quite a few True Christian™ women falling behind in their domestic chores as they'll spend hours before this image admiring and contemplating it.
I am utterly convinced that many more wonderful works of art, not only in the field of visual arts but also in the opera, theater, pantomime, weaving, comics and cinema. All the artists will soon take on the Donald as the subject matter and produce magnificent works that will lead millions into the warm embrace of Jesus!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
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I believe the artist is suggesting that Donald Trumps head is hamlike.
Mark 13:22
“For false Christs and false prophets shall rise, and shall shew signs and wonders, to seduce, if it were possible, even the elect.”
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,156
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL -
10-21-2015, 01:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by alooneymormon
I believe the artist is suggesting that Donald Trumps head is hamlike.
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Then you're mistaken, sweetie. Professor White has just given you the correct explanation for the meaning of this painting. (While some vile postmodernists like that dead dude Derrida would like you to believe that meanings are all in your head, they are, obviously, wrong).
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 59
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Sitting in my bedroom on my computer listening to music
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Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL -
10-22-2015, 12:22 AM
Ah, may I ask:
Where do you find these marvelous pieces? I am slightly afraid of looking and seeing something horrid...
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Guarding his purity against all comers
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,239
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: OzTrailer
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Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL -
10-22-2015, 05:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by CuteKitty98
Ah, may I ask:
Where do you find these marvelous pieces? I am slightly afraid of looking and seeing something horrid...
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I don't know where in Hell you are looking for God young man but I know He is not there. Perhaps refine your search.
Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 59
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Sitting in my bedroom on my computer listening to music
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Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL -
10-22-2015, 12:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Back against wall
I don't know where in Hell you are looking for God young man but I know He is not there. Perhaps refine your search.
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Forgive me. I have worded that badly.
I haven't searched yet, so I am just curious as to where many of you have found these works of Christ.
Forgive me, I am sorry.
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Guarding his purity against all comers
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,239
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: OzTrailer
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Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL -
10-22-2015, 12:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by CuteKitty98
I am sorry.
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I think you would be better making an apology for not taking the advice given to you, probably on more than one occasion, to go into the introduction forum, follow the guidelines and introduce yourself.
Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.
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Guarding his purity against all comers
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,239
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: OzTrailer
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Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL -
10-22-2015, 12:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by CuteKitty98
Ah, may I ask:
Where do you find these marvelous pieces? I am slightly afraid of looking and seeing something horrid...
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Adding; now that you have apologised for being typically dizzy. Most art I collect is from exclusive auctions. I haven't posted any here yet as they are priceless works of True Christian™ art and until I have my True Christian 1611 Complete Security System™ installed into my new Home, I will not do so. Not with so much Unsaved Trash floating around here.
Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL -
10-22-2015, 05:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrudePussy98
Ah, may I ask:
Where do you find these marvelous pieces? I am slightly afraid of looking and seeing something horrid...
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I pray, and the LORD brings them to my attention. If you genuinely desire to find praiseworthy works of art, simply pray.
Ask, and it shall be given you;
seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you
Matthew 7:7
If you are a True Believer in Christ™, the LORD will answer your prayer. Guaranteed.
And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.
Matthew 21:22
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL -
03-03-2016, 08:17 PM
Brother Elmer, I do believe this painting is a Catty-lick image. Notice the giant sky vagina, that magical conduit that brings the catholic goddess from one place to another all around the world to appear on toast, in jars of peanut butter, and in mold on bathroom walls, according to the papist religion. I can't help but notice also the fruit on the tree. While the "artist" tries to camouflage its real identity in a soft, golden hue, it cannot be denied these are naught but various rectums crowding together. It's no wonder the Roman Catholic Church is so confused. I offer this to help people understand that just because a painting may look honoring to Christ Jesus, the Lord thy God, it isn't necessarily so. Those papists are a sneaky bunch, and they had dominated the world of art for a long time.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL -
03-05-2016, 01:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
Brother Elmer, I do believe this painting is a Catty-lick image. Notice the giant sky vagina, that magical conduit that brings the catholic goddess from one place to another all around the world to appear on toast, in jars of peanut butter, and in mold on bathroom walls, according to the papist religion. I can't help but notice also the fruit on the tree. While the "artist" tries to camouflage its real identity in a soft, golden hue, it cannot be denied these are naught but various rectums crowding together. It's no wonder the Roman Catholic Church is so confused. I offer this to help people understand that just because a painting may look honoring to Christ Jesus, the Lord thy God, it isn't necessarily so. Those papists are a sneaky bunch, and they had dominated the world of art for a long time.
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Dear Sister,
As I have never actually looked at my wife's cooter and never ever will and only touched it with that most unfortunate but fortunately quite insensitive part of my body and as rarely as I can waiting for the entry until the inevitable and slightly agonizing moment of release is upon me, I'll have to take your word for this.
Still, this is disgusting.
The colonic fruit also refer to the forbidden fruit and, once again, the harlot-like woman in the painting is striving for the fruit (Genesis 3:6), which, in this case - takes the form of the sodomistic trophy, the lower intestinal orifice, the anatomical location that all female AND male homers struggle to reach.
As such, this might work as a warning for our youngsters to never ever cherish the notion of abnormal pleasures, but I'd reserve this image only for our senior pastors to look at, in order to understand the state of despicable depravity that the world contains.
Leviticus 5:17
And if a soul sin, and commit any of these things which are forbidden to be done by the commandments of the LORD; though he wist it not, yet is he guilty, and shall bear his iniquity.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade Jesus macht frei
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,914
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Black Forrest, Germany
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Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL -
03-05-2016, 06:00 PM
Why would a dog care if he goes to heaven? They are the same as homosexuals. They just care about sniffing butts.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL -
03-05-2016, 09:43 PM
As you all know, I am somewhat of an expert on hell. I Preach on it often, and I have a fine collection of art that (I believe) accurately depicts the actual tortures awaiting the unsaved® down in the pits of satan. I can't wait to watch sinners burn in hell!
I would offer private tours of my art collection, but those are reserved for Double Platinum tithers.
Artwork like this will scare the b'JESUS out of any good Christian.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Liebral Girlie-Man
Forum Member
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Posts: 163
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: a pedestrian-friendly community near main campus
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Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL -
03-07-2016, 02:09 AM
The Bible, when correctly interpreted, tells us to love everyone.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL -
03-08-2016, 05:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Darren Ingram-Myers
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Is that a depiction of Jesus wearing a dress?
You disgusting little godmocker! If I ever get my hands on you I'll have your head sliced off and send the video to your family.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL -
03-08-2016, 12:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
As you all know, I am somewhat of an expert on hell. I Preach on it often, and I have a fine collection of art that (I believe) accurately depicts the actual tortures awaiting the unsaved® down in the pits of satan. I can't wait to watch sinners burn in hell!
I would offer private tours of my art collection, but those are reserved for Double Platinum tithers.
Artwork like this will scare the b'JESUS out of any good Christian.
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Wonderful pieces of high-quality art, indeed, Pastor! My personal favorites in the Hell genre are those that tell us the story of the rich man and Lazarus (Luke 16:19-3) in pictures. I have chosen a few here for you to admire!
1. Craftsmanship and general quality- Both pictures are extremely well executed and the technique of the painters is flawless.
2. Compatibility with the Bible- No doubt about this! The most beautiful verse in this pericope (see below) is depicted in excruciating detail.
- Luke 16:23 - And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom.
3. Usefulness in a True Christian™ message- This is extremely useful. Not only does this tell us that Hell is eternal and everlasting torment (Revelation 20:10). In addition, THIS is the one verse where we can clearly see that the communication channels between Hell and Heaven are open and work both ways. The rich man was able to converse with those in Heaven and he was also able to see those rewarded by Jesus with Life Eternal in Joy and Ecstasy! Furthermore, those in Heaven could perceive the tortures and the agony of the sinner. This is a win-win situation that needs to be repeated over and over again. Those in Hell will suffer even more horribly - as they deserve, because they failed to choose Jesus although God Loved the world so much that He offered Himself for our Redemption (John 3:16-18) - while seeing how bad it is in Hell will add to the enjoyment of those (that means us True Christians™) in Heaven. This is excellent design by Jesus: everybody gains!
4. Potential risks of the imageRevelation 20:10
And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL -
08-15-2016, 09:34 AM
Brethren,
I've come across a wonderful modern painter, Mr. Blingee, that has produced lots of high-quality artwork depicting Jesus Christ! I have here just one glorious example. This is, I must warn you, ultra-modernist, as it requires digitized devices to be presented. At the same time, it is a wonderful manifestation of the Power of Jesus that transcends also modern technology.
1. Craftsmanship and general quality- Extremely well executed, outstanding painting skills, the composition and color scheme are just overwhelmingly good.
2. Compatibility with the Bible- This is a warning. It shows how Jesus can appear anywhere, how He follows our every step and how He'll come very soon in an unexpected manner!
- 1 Thessalonians 5:2 - For yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so cometh as a thief in the night.
3. Usefulness in a True Christian™ message- Very useful. It tells us how we can never be complacent. We must fulfill all God's commandments (Ecclesiastes 12:13) and be constantly vigilant lest Jesus come! He is always fluttering just beyond our sensual perception, always attentive lest we trespass, always ready to smite the sinners that oppose Him! This is also very good deterrent for our children!
4. Potential risks of the image- No risks. Extraordinary quality. This is the best that True Christian™ art can offer!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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