[OnYourKnees]

Originally Posted by The Revelator

ok, now your sounding a little bit like a catholic priest there....

He did not mean "gag a maggot" in such a perverted sense!

No, you're not a Calvinist, and you're not a pervert, either.

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by The Revelator

ok, now your sounding a little bit like a catholic priest there....

Now that was harsh! Please, I know we may not agree on everything, but please could we at least try to avoid using that kind of gutter insult?

[The Revelator]

Alright, I'm sorry Ezekiel, please forgive me for my rude comment.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by The Revelator

Alright, I'm sorry Ezekiel, please forgive me for my rude comment.

Apology accepted. And by the way, its PASTOR Ezekiel.

Have you tithed yet? I'm sure you know that doing the Lord's work is not without cost. The Paypal button at the bottom of this page is a quick and convenient way to show your true feelings for Jesus. Words are cheap, as they say.

[The Revelator]

I tithe to my own church, but thanks for the offer.

[TwinkBoy]

Getting BACK on topic, loves.............

Myxedemotions has come her spilling her RICH heart and asking for prayers and all I'm seeing here is the pastors wanting to see "example" film of her so they can "determine" how badly she has "sinned." Now that is ridiculous! I'd say that it's more a matter of wanting to spank the monkey wouldn't you, loves? HA! And they call me a perv!!

Myxed, love, WHY would you want to STOP making all that MONEY??? What's wrong with SEX? Who cares whose watching or judging when you're making that kind of MONEY? Sometimes you just have to throw yourself to the wind and DO what MUST be done in life, love. I mean, come on, not everyone has the good fortune to become a STAR like you, love! Oh don't let these Bible Thumpers get to you, love. Sometimes a girl has just got to do what a girl must do to make ends meet. Think about it, love. Call me! We'll..ahh...talk a bit.........

Love & Light,
Twink

PS--If you decide to BLOW the Saudi prince off, put him in touch with me! I hear those guys are loaded to the gills and, not to mention, being good "acts" in....well..you know, love............

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by The Revelator

I tithe to my own church, but thanks for the offer.

And I hope you realize that tithing to a false church is like paying satan to escort you to eternal damnation.

Apparently Jesus has yet to reveal Himself to you. Keep trying friend.

[Brother Love]

Man oh man, MIXED UP!! If the DEVIL ain't got ahold of your young soul then I don't know who does! Talk about being LOST in a PIT of SEXUAL ABOMINATION. You need prayers alright BUT what you REALLY need to do is REPENT SINNER!!

You come here spilling your guts out like a butchered pig and I suspect you're wanting some sympathy BUT you WON'T find it here! Your HOMERSEXUAL SLUTISM is a SIN and I CONVICT you of your sin in the NAME of JESUS! Turn to JESUS child! Nothing is too difficult for Him to CONQUER! He and ONLY HE can get you out of that sicko freak PORN industry! Think of YOUR alternative. Hell, fire, brimstone, nashing of YOUR teeth, and demons sodomizing YOU over and over for all ETERNITY!

Now as for that A-RAT prince, just what EXACTLY does he want you to do sexually that involves danger? Have sex with a tiger maybe or some other dangerous animal? SICKO's! Those Sodomy Arat princes are well know for their PERVERSION when it comes to sex and everything else. I mean look at who they have living over there in their midst now! None other than that kid-loving, SEXUAL PERVERT and SEXUAL SINNER Mikey Jackson!! Now if that ain't a DISGUSTING ABOMINATION INCARNATE then I don't know what is!

Now concerning the matter for the LBC Pastors to REVIEW some of your films so they might DETERMINE how BIG your SIN is, that IS a VALID request, Sister Mixed Up. You see, in order for the Pastor's to be able to determine just how much prayer you are REALLY in NEED of the films MUST be reviewed by them. Otherwise they would have only a vague idea of how much prayer you're in need of and, as we all know well, our LORD does NOT like vagueness. So, in addition to REPENTING of your SEXUAL SINS you need to get those films in the mail ASAP (but it would even be BETTER if you could ship them OVERNIGHT FED EX) to the LBC headquarters so the Pastors can set about their GODLY WORK!

Now, I don't mean to be hard on you but sometimes girls...I mean...SINNERS like you need that in order for you to SEE THE LIGHT of JESUS! And once you see that LIGHT you'll NEVER forget it and you'll accept JESUS as your SAVIOR.

Now, with the MONEY you have already made in that VILE and EVIL DEMON porn industry I'm more than sure that YOU CAN make a VERY BIG tithe to JESUS right NOW! Just hit the GODLY paypal button at the bottom of the page and GIVE JESUS his SHARE, sister! You see, you CANNOT really do anything with all that money BUT the LORD can and WILL. So hit that button NOW and get RIGHT with the LORD!! Afterall, and think about this now, all that MONEY really BELONGS TO JESUS ALREADY! So, GIVE IT BACK TO HIM RIGHT NOW!!

The reason you posted your heart on this GODLY FORUM is because the HOLY SPIRIT is calling upon you to TURN to the LORD JESUS CHRIST. Otherwise you would have never posted your SINFULNESS on this GODLY FORUM or revealed your shameless NAKEDNESS. So turn to the LORD, sister! God CAN and WILL break you FREE from those DEMON Joo's who run the SINFUL porn industry!

You know, sister, it always helps us all here at Landover Baptist if we can match a posting name with a body. So, post a pic of yourself so all the GODLY TRUE CHRISTIANS here can see what you look like. And rest assured that we WILL be praying for YOU. Praise the Lord and HIT the GODLY PAYPAL button and get those films on FED EX OVERNIGHT EXPRESS!!

PRAISE THE LORD!!

[Poetic Peter]

If Ms. Mixtin ipples is genuine (and her screed has been applied to multiple places), she'll respond here. The Pastors need to see that she is real;
video will do. And then the healing can begin. Christianity is a balm,
like coca butter but better.

Surrender vid, kid.

[The Revelator]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

And I hope you realize that tithing to a false church is like paying satan to escort you to eternal damnation.

Apparently Jesus has yet to reveal Himself to you. Keep trying friend.

My church is not a false church. you don't even know anything about my church. Do not be so quick to judge.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Originally Posted by The Revelator

My church is not a false church. you don't even know anything about my church. Do not be so quick to judge.

In another thread you just said that you are mostly agnostic and before that you said you were Protestant and before that, Catlick. Make up your mind...not that it matters much, because all of those doctrines are false.

[The Revelator]

Hold the phone there buddy. I never said I was agnostic. I was never agnostic....EVER.

I said my parents WERE catholic, but when I was a baby we all got saved, and started attending a baptist church. Now I attend a nondenominational church (called Faith Bible Church) that teaches the Word of God and the message of salvation. We believe Jesus is Lord, we believe he died on the cross for our sins. I am not tithing to a false church.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Originally Posted by The Revelator

I was a baby we all got saved

Hold the phone there, buddy! Babies can't be saved! The whole point behind adult baptism is that only adults can commit their lives to Christ!

Acts 2:37 Now when they heard this, they were pricked in their heart, and said unto Peter and to the rest of the apostles, Men and brethren, what shall we do?
2:38 Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

Acts 8:12 But when they believed Philip preaching the things concerning the kingdom of God, and the name of Jesus Christ, they were baptized, both men and women.
8:13 Then Simon himself believed also: and when he was baptized, he continued with Philip, and wondered, beholding the miracles and signs which were done.

Acts 8:36 And as they went on their way, they came unto a certain water: and the eunuch said, See, here is water; what doth hinder me to be baptized?
8:37 And Philip said, If thou believest with all thine heart, thou mayest. And he answered and said, I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God.
8:38 And he commanded the chariot to stand still: and they went down both into the water, both Philip and the eunuch; and he baptized him.
8:39 And when they were come up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord caught away Philip, that the eunuch saw him no more: and he went on his way rejoicing.

[The Revelator]

Sorry for the confussion Mary, thank you for posting those verses but the problem was that I was careless with my wording.

What I meant to say was..

When I was a baby, my parents got saved, they then started attending a baptist church. WHEN I WAS OLD ENOUGH, I too got saved and then later got baptized.

Sorry for the confussion.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Originally Posted by The Revelator

Hold the phone there buddy. I never said I was agnostic. I was never agnostic....EVER.

Sorry, I must have confused you with one of the other homers.

I said my parents WERE catholic, but when I was a baby we all got saved, and started attending a baptist church. Now I attend a nondenominational church (called Faith Bible Church) that teaches the Word of God and the message of salvation. We believe Jesus is Lord, we believe he died on the cross for our sins. I am not tithing to a false church.

If you aren't tithing here, you are paying SATAN'S bills.

[The Revelator]

Wait....your telling me that THIS is the only church I can tithe to?

Ha....haha.....HAHAHAHA...

Ok, I got that out of my system.

Obviously this has no Biblical foundation whatsoever that THIS church is the only one we can tithe too. That is just crazy.

And you know what else, AL, I can honestly say you have been the rudest and most disrespectful man I have ever seen. I have never seen someone so ignorant and cruel as you. I have no idea how you ever received the position of pastor, but I will never call you by that title.

[Brother V]

Originally Posted by The Revelator

Obviously this has no Biblical foundation whatsoever that THIS church is the only one we can tithe too. That is just crazy.

Let's attempt to show why this is the only Church that Jesus respects.

1. Does your church have women pastors? (ours are honorary and they are only allowed to "preach" to the women)

2. Does your church have reject any of the Bible (KJV1611)?

3. Does your church even USE the Bible (KJV1611)?

4. Do people from your chuch often get healed by the prayer of the church elders?

5. Does your church do laying of hands?

6. Do any members of your church speak in tongues?

7. Does your church allow women to speak in church?

8. Do the women in your church wear jewelry?

These are just some simple questions to answer. If your answers are all correct, you might be attending a "good enough" church. If any are wrong, well, you may want to reconsider who it is that you are worshipping. If they skimp on these simple 8 questions, what other commandments laid out in the Bible (KJV1611) do you think they might be shirking?

Luke 11:23 He that is not with me is against me: and he that gathereth not with me scattereth.

Matthew 12:33 Either make the tree good, and his fruit good; or else make the tree corrupt, and his fruit corrupt: for the tree is known by his fruit.

What kind of fruit does your church produce?

YIC
V

[myxedemotions]

Originally Posted by Enobarbus

Just a few of the first questions that spring to mind:

Where did you cut and paste this from?

How many other boards have these lies been posted on?

Do you think that you can come here to the Lord's and George Bush's favourite church and pull the wool over the eyes of True Christians™?

I am awarding you infraction points for the sin of lying. Anymore nonsense of this sort and you will be cast off into the depths of Cyberspace and away from Landover Baptist Church and your soul chance of Salvation©.

I am shocked that a man of God as you alledge yourself to me doesn't know a true call for help versus simple sexual sensationalism. I make enough money on my videos and live performances from the "heathen majority" as I guess you would call them than to just mass post a generic message on a variety of prayer boards to market my newest video.

Did you find a prayer request of mine on other boards? Good for you! I'm trying to get as much prayer into my life as possible.

Now I need to go and wash my mouth out after just completing this last scene....

[Talitha]

Originally Posted by myxedemotions

I am shocked that a man of God as you alledge yourself to me doesn't know a true call for help versus simple sexual sensationalism. I make enough money on my videos and live performances from the "heathen majority" as I guess you would call them than to just mass post a generic message on a variety of prayer boards to market my newest video.

Did you find a prayer request of mine on other boards? Good for you! I'm trying to get as much prayer into my life as possible.

Now I need to go and wash my mouth out after just completing this last scene....

Jesus would Love you all the more if you were to Tithe some of those immoral earnings to Landover Bapti$t Church.
Now go Child, wash that filth from your mouth before Posting here again.

[myxedemotions]

I'm not sure how to react to any of this. I come here for help from what I assumed was a Godly bunch of human beings and instead am being accused, accosted and cricified (like Christ, I suppose) as a liar.

And on top of that, many of you are asking to actually see my videos! How exactly will that help my soul's salvation if I corrupt more people? If you want to bask in the sin I can provide, then feel free to come see my live performance here at #&@(*$@*# Club in Las Vegas. I'm headlining every Friday and Saturday night until March 2, then off to Tabouk, Saudi Arabia.

Be that as it may, other prayer sites have been less responsive than you all, so I suppose I'll take what I can get....in terms of prayers. This is my struggle every day: To literally get up out of bed only to lie down in another for another dollar. I still feel disgusting, but I don't know how to leave it. What will I be good for otherwise?

All I can pray for now is to make enough money to "retire" and go to college.

I just can't imagine finding any man who will ever see me as a person and not just a moaning sex toy. And of course, the Internet will forever haunt me no matter what I do in life. My videos, pictures, everything about me is forever stamped electronically. I'm sure whatever university I end up going to will have a field day knowing a porn star is there among its student body.