Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum
Reload this Page Evil spirit eat 31.25% of my computer memory!
Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
lukasekman's Avatar
lukasekman lukasekman is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Punched the most queers

 
Posts: 609
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Forrest Park, Memphis
lukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Evil spirit eat 31.25% of my computer memory! - 06-27-2012, 09:28 PM

Yesterday, I decided to install more RAM in my computer, went from 2GB to 4. But instead of 4 GB, my computer only report 2.75 GB. This means that evil spirits have eaten 31.25% of my memory, or 62.5% of my added memory. That's like the income tax margin effect in socialist countries!

Exodus 20:15
Thou shalt not steal


As a reaction to the mysterious disturbance, I have put my Fam-Conť™ level to 3 (lower values mean greater threat to my family, one is worst and five is business as usual). I do my best efforts to spank my kids to deliver them from evil.

Prov 23:13
Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.

However, I came up with several ideas where the evil spirits may come from:
  • Apple. The queer elitists wants me to give up my still going strong Windows XP computer, and try to make me a Mac fag.
  • Left-wing terrorists eat my RAM in the same way they hack e-mail.
What do you think?
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Pie Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Long service medal, 3rd class 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Evil spirit eat 31.25% of my computer memory! - 06-27-2012, 09:52 PM

Brother I will pray for your computer. I'm sure that will give it more memory.

Installing Jes0s Operating System will help too!

Blessings,

Sister Thumper




Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Levi Jones's Avatar
Levi Jones Levi Jones is offline
Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
 

True Christian™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Ex-liberal True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Gunfest '06 Tithing Manager Saved 1 Year Pastor of GOD One Year/1000 posts Senior Pastor Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth TC Bravery Gunfest '09 Tell her once Persecuted Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Porn Resistant The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Punched the most queers 2010 Witch Hunt Award Pro-Life Outreach preacher Early riser Teabag Patriot Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Public Awareness Medal Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Hatchet Child Rearing Award Long service medal, 3rd class True Scientist™ True Christian Hotrodder Touched by Jesus Kirk Cameron Fan Club Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Mission to Messico Hands Off Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Probing for Jesus Alternative Facts Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Saved 5 Years Crown of Life Crown of Rejoicing Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 14,181
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Evil spirit eat 31.25% of my computer memory! - 06-27-2012, 10:11 PM

I'll pray for it while you fix it. Let us know when it is working better, so you can give us and Christ the glory.


Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Cranky Old Man's Avatar
Cranky Old Man Cranky Old Man is offline
Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
You kids get off his lawn!
 

True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Christian Love Platinum Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Gunfest '09 Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound 1st Year Bible College Punched the most queers Public Awareness Medal Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Nerd Flat Earth The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Touched by Jesus Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Trump of GOD True Christian Artist God's chosen ones Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 5 Years Paula Deen Negro Support Group True Christian Hotrodder 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Life Crown of Incorruptibility 20,000 posts BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts GLORY Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Clorox Cured Me Anti-Biden F1 for God

 
Posts: 22,419
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Evil spirit eat 31.25% of my computer memory! - 06-30-2012, 10:12 PM

Why waste money on 4 GB of memory instead of tithing it to the church?

My all American IBM PC AT has 16 MB of RAM and it still works perfectly! It's Arachne web browser allows me to visit the Internet without ever getting one of those viruses Obama is spreading on the Internet.


Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
lukasekman's Avatar
lukasekman lukasekman is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Punched the most queers

 
Posts: 609
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Forrest Park, Memphis
lukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Evil spirit eat 31.25% of my computer memory! - 07-02-2012, 03:53 PM

Cranky Old Man, I know it's possible to run a computer with a fraction of the RAM of a modern computer. I have a good ol' Pentium 90 Mhz with 8MB of RAM for my kids. When they need more memory, they just boot into DOS mode. The computer have no bloatware that check for updates on ObamaCare every five minutes, no autostarting webcam, no 100+ MB bloated printer driver, no preinstalled software that turn you queer by subliminal messages and no hidden applications that distract them with stupid notifications when they do their Bible studies.
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Cranky Old Man's Avatar
Cranky Old Man Cranky Old Man is offline
Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
You kids get off his lawn!
 

True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Christian Love Platinum Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Gunfest '09 Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound 1st Year Bible College Punched the most queers Public Awareness Medal Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Nerd Flat Earth The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Touched by Jesus Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Trump of GOD True Christian Artist God's chosen ones Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 5 Years Paula Deen Negro Support Group True Christian Hotrodder 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Life Crown of Incorruptibility 20,000 posts BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts GLORY Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Clorox Cured Me Anti-Biden F1 for God

 
Posts: 22,419
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Evil spirit eat 31.25% of my computer memory! - 07-02-2012, 08:26 PM

I don't own a printer. When I have a document on my computer I want to have on paper, I simply order my wife to write it down. Unlike the rest of her, her handwriting is very firm.

Deuteronomy 5:33 "Ye shall walk in all the ways which the Lord your God hath commanded you, that ye may live, and that it may be well with you, and that ye may prolong your days in the land which ye shall possess."


Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
lukasekman's Avatar
lukasekman lukasekman is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Punched the most queers

 
Posts: 609
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Forrest Park, Memphis
lukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Evil spirit eat 31.25% of my computer memory! - 07-06-2012, 10:35 AM

Glory!
The computer have finally reclaimed its RAM from the evil socialist spirit.
Thanks Levi Jones and Daisy Mae Johnson for your prayers.

Yesterday, I declared Fam-Con™ level 2, which mean that I have to punch my wife in her stomach, deploy land mines in my garden and poison gas traps in rooms containing gold and valuable electronics. My wife is also authorized to use baking rollers to spank our kids.

After the demise of the evil spirit, I have restored Fam-Con™ level to 4. My communion workers also report that the current autism virus outbreak in the town is on decline, and I will declare Fam-Con™ level 5 as soon we're though this crisis.
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Brother_Percy's Avatar
Brother_Percy Brother_Percy is offline
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member

True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Christian Love Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Parking Lot Tither One Year/1000 posts Saved 5 Years Ex-eurotrash True Republican

 
Posts: 1,335
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Doing God's Work in Europistan
Brother_Percy has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBrother_Percy has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBrother_Percy has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBrother_Percy has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBrother_Percy has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBrother_Percy has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBrother_Percy has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBrother_Percy has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBrother_Percy has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBrother_Percy has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBrother_Percy has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Evil spirit eat 31.25% of my computer memory! - 07-07-2012, 01:19 AM

You know, I had NO IDEA demons could get into your computer, but now you mention it, I think that explains a LOT!

A few weeks ago, while my wife was going through my old laptop looking for holiday snaps, she found over 20,000 videos of GAY PORN on there!!!

Needless to say I was DISGUSTED! I had absolutely no idea how they got on there?? But at the time I though it must have been some sort of computer virus that got on there, downloaded all those files. Obviously my wife was concerned, but I was quick to reassure her. I HAVE given her two wonderful daughters from both times I slept with her, that should have been good enough for her. But I know how women worry about silly things, especially after what happened with poor Pastor Ted Haggard.

Now that I've read on this thread, about evil spirits and demons getting into computers, I think that pretty much explains it all. It's obvious now that some sort of evil spirit got in there, and downloaded all those movies! I will need to show my good wife this thread, it will certainly put her mind at ease. Amen!
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
SpawnOfAzreal's Avatar
SpawnOfAzreal SpawnOfAzreal is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 13
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Earth. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
SpawnOfAzreal is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Evil spirit eat 31.25% of my computer memory! - 07-08-2012, 03:11 AM

Burn your computer, it's the only way to make it clean again.

Many demons inhabit mechanical hosts, it's quite possible you device has become home to one. An exorcism will do no good, as mech-demons have evolved beyond those methods.

Burn it.
Destroy the files. All of them. They're cyber-material goods and not worth you soul.
And buy a good True Christian brand netbook - we don't want to be prideful or gluttonous with RAM or disk memory.
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
lukasekman's Avatar
lukasekman lukasekman is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Punched the most queers

 
Posts: 609
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Forrest Park, Memphis
lukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Evil spirit eat 31.25% of my computer memory! - 07-08-2012, 03:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SpawnOfAzreal View Post
Burn your computer, it's the only way to make it clean again.

Many demons inhabit mechanical hosts, it's quite possible you device has become home to one. An exorcism will do no good, as mech-demons have evolved beyond those methods.

Burn it.
Destroy the files. All of them. They're cyber-material goods and not worth you soul.
And buy a good True Christian brand netbook - we don't want to be prideful or gluttonous with RAM or disk memory.
Netbooks are for silly gooks with tiny hands, real Christian men need a full-size keyboard to work. Would not be smart to burn it anyways, since I've mounted several poison gas vials inside the chassis, and they are made to break if the computer is moved by a clumsy thief.
When the news report about a man died by sudden colon prolapse*, I know where I should go to get my computer back.

2 Chronicles 21:15
And thou shalt have great sickness by disease of thy bowels, until thy bowels fall out by reason of the sickness day by day.

*Colon prolapse is medical geek jargon for pooping out the intestines

Last edited by lukasekman; 07-08-2012 at 03:30 PM. Reason: added note about medical jargon
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
god'sson god'sson is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 2
Join Date: Aug 2012
god'sson is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Evil spirit eat 31.25% of my computer memory! - 08-16-2012, 04:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother_Percy View Post
You know, I had NO IDEA demons could get into your computer, but now you mention it, I think that explains a LOT!

A few weeks ago, while my wife was going through my old laptop looking for holiday snaps, she found over 20,000 videos of GAY PORN on there!!!

Needless to say I was DISGUSTED! I had absolutely no idea how they got on there?? But at the time I though it must have been some sort of computer virus that got on there, downloaded all those files. Obviously my wife was concerned, but I was quick to reassure her. I HAVE given her two wonderful daughters from both times I slept with her, that should have been good enough for her. But I know how women worry about silly things, especially after what happened with poor Pastor Ted Haggard.

Now that I've read on this thread, about evil spirits and demons getting into computers, I think that pretty much explains it all. It's obvious now that some sort of evil spirit got in there, and downloaded all those movies! I will need to show my good wife this thread, it will certainly put her mind at ease. Amen!
are you sure you've never gave the laptop to anyone except your wife? i heard that some atheist have fun by placing trash in other people's computers
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Dr Laurence Niles's Avatar
Dr Laurence Niles Dr Laurence Niles is offline
Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Porn Resistant Pro-Life Christian Love One Year/1000 posts True Republican Ex-Brit Ex-eurotrash Eats the Most Pork Super Soaker Baptism Award Gold Tither True Christian Provider™ award Batman Shooting Survivor True Scientist™ Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Prayer Warrior Divorcee The Lord’s Witness Wound Punched the most queers Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Trump of GOD Pancake Dinner Pastor Ezekiel Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Mission to Korea Probing for Jesus ex-sheep-shagger Asked questions later Crown of Incorruptibility GLORY Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Evil spirit eat 31.25% of my computer memory! - 08-16-2012, 06:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by god'sson View Post
are you sure you've never gave the laptop to anyone except your wife? i heard that some atheist have fun by placing trash in other people's computers
So you would have us beleive that people bother to put rubbish inside computers?

What do you think bins are for?

Idiot.


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Deaner's Avatar
Deaner Deaner is offline
Christ's Love Messenger
True Christian™

True Christian™ Long service medal, 2nd class One Year/1000 posts Christian Love Best Mullet Parking Lot Tither True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '06 Punched the most queers The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound TC Bravery Ready for the Rapture Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian True Christian Hotrodder Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Flat Earth Tell her once The Lord’s Witness Wound Eats the Most Pork Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Hatchet Child Rearing Award Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Persecuted Porn Resistant Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Tagging for Jesus Saved 5 Years Divorcee Super Soaker Baptism Award Real American™ Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Truck Stop Ministry Member Chariot of Fire True Christian Hotrodder Pastor of GOD Senior Pastor 4th Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 1st Year Bible College Long service medal, 3rd class In Love With Zeke

 
Posts: 5,978
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: A road of rocks and glass
Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Evil spirit eat 31.25% of my computer memory! - 08-16-2012, 06:36 PM

I'm getting messages that my computer is using mega ram when I have 3 or 4 explorer windows open. This shouldn't do this; I have plenty of RAM. Please pray for me too. Let me get you started...

Dear Baby Jesus;...
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
Nobar King's Avatar
Nobar King Nobar King is offline
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '07 Christian Love Tin Tither Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian Nerd TC Bravery Ex-liberal Ex-Christ-Killer Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Saved 5 Years Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 20,000 posts Eats the Most Pork True Republican Divorcee Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Grammar Nazi Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Evil spirit eat 31.25% of my computer memory! - 08-16-2012, 07:48 PM

I keep having to add more RAM to keep my computer running right so I think I am a victim of this, as well. If only there was a program that I could run to help me manage my memory chips!


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
computer, demonic possession

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved