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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Cranky Old Man! -
06-08-2014, 02:20 PM
HAPPY
BIRTHDAY!
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,328
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Cranky Old Man! -
06-08-2014, 03:14 PM
Congratulations! Our esteemed Brother demostrates how maturity brings also quick wits and deep understanding in addition to spirituality.
May you prosper!
Genesis 5:25.
Yours,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Cranky Old Man! -
06-08-2014, 04:30 PM
I'm sorry the LORD hasn't chosen to call you home yet, as I know you're more than ready. Your loss is our gain. A most blessed birthday, dear Brother in Christ.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Cranky Old Man! -
06-08-2014, 04:59 PM
I said a little prayer that you don't die during your birthday nap.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Cranky Old Man! -
06-08-2014, 05:43 PM
Happy Birthday and many happy returns, Brother. As a birthday gift, I have arranged to have your neighbor Mrs. Johnson confined to a mental ward for at least 6 months.
Don't forget to send over your Birthday Tithe.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 18
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Lord's earthly realm
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Cranky Old Man! -
06-09-2014, 12:12 AM
Happy Birthday, my sweet man
Leviticus 19:32 Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God
Psalm 119:97
O how love I thy law! It is my meditation all the day
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Cranky Old Man! -
06-09-2014, 01:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
I'm sorry the LORD hasn't chosen to call you home yet
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Indeed. Apparently Jesus needs me to spend more time suffering through the infinite steam of retards visiting God's favorite forum.
And please, if I didn't send you an invitation, you're not invited for pie or BBQed meat. Just put your expensive present near my front door and LEAVE!
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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True Christian™ with a quiverful
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Posts: 2,243
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Cranky Old Man! -
06-09-2014, 01:12 PM
At what time are we not invited?
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,941
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: With Jesus
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Cranky Old Man! -
06-09-2014, 02:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother Of Seven
At what time are we not invited?
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(I think the party was last night, Sister - it's just that Brother Cranky has already forgotten about it.)
2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
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