Easter is About Jesus - Period! A seasonal forum where we celebrate the true meaning of Easter. No bunnies allowed! |
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Re: Easter Bake Off! -
03-29-2014, 09:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb
I know your husband would have had to control his natural urges
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Why are you so cruel and vicious, even to those few of us who have not yet completely shunned you? You know perfectly well that the only urge that my dear, late husband would have had to control would have been the urge to throw one of your nauseating pies in your face. And, being the perfect gentleman that he was, he would have done so.
But shouldn't you be attending to your imaginary guests, dear?
2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 991
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Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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Re: Easter Bake Off! -
03-29-2014, 09:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Attila's Wife
Why are you so cruel and vicious, even to those few of us who have not yet completely shunned you? You know perfectly well that the only urge that my dear, late husband would have had to control would have been the urge to throw one of your nauseating pies in your face. And, being the perfect gentleman that he was, he would have done so.
But shouldn't you be attending to your imaginary guests, dear?
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I just ran a check of JesOS, and found someone with administrative powers in that system wrote a message to you that was full of vitriol and hatred. I suspect I know who it was, but I won't mention his name or his rainbow colored avatar. That would be indiscreet.
Oh, my DEAR, KIND, LOVELY Mrs. Attila, accept my apology and the small gift I will be sending by special messenger - your favorite shade of purple in a crinoline nightgown. The DOF is looking into who may have done this. Do tell me we are still loving sisters in He whose temporary death means we shall spend eternity together. I know just how much you look forward to that, sweetheart.
Your friend in HIM,
NRL
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,941
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: With Jesus
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Re: Easter Bake Off! -
03-29-2014, 09:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb
I just ran a check of JesOS, and found someone with administrative powers in that system wrote a message to you that was full of vitriol and hatred. I suspect I know who it was, but I won't mention his name or his rainbow colored avatar. That would be indiscreet.
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Nonsense. You know perfectly well that I was referring to this message on the public forum, in this very thread, and that messages here cannot be "hacked" even by people with the very highest administrative privileges. That would be dishonest - rather like you, in this case.
And how dare you direct semi-veiled insults at Brother Faith Machine, a close personal friend who is even now entertaining us (at Ma-of-7's fabulous soirée) with his witty impersonations of some of the more dried-up and raddled spinsters in the congregation.
Quote:
Oh, my DEAR, KIND, LOVELY Mrs. Attila, accept my apology and the small gift I will be sending by special messenger - your favorite shade of purple in a crinoline nightgown.
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Typical of you to choose such a very vulgar color.
But now I must give my full attention to the party. Mother-of-7's children are about to delight us with a beautifully choreographed pageant illustrating Deuteronomy 23:18. Such a shame you can't be here with us, to benefit from the education.
2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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Re: Easter Bake Off! -
03-29-2014, 09:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Attila's Wife
Nonsense. You know perfectly well that I was referring to this message on the public forum, in this very thread, and that messages here cannot be "hacked" even by people with the very highest administrative privileges. That would be dishonest - rather like you, in this case.
And how dare you direct semi-veiled insults at Brother Faith Machine, a close personal friend who is even now entertaining us (at Ma-of-7's fabulous soirée) with his witty impersonations of some of the more dried-up and raddled spinsters in the congregation.
Typical of you to choose such a very vulgar color.
But now I must give my full attention to the party. Mother-of-7's children are about to delight us with a beautifully choreographed pageant illustrating Deuteronomy 23:18. Such a shame you can't be here with us, to benefit from the education.
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As I have let go of the past, I pray that you will, too.
In Christ,
NRL
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,142
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: Easter Bake Off! -
03-30-2014, 02:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb
Dear Sisters: I assure you that my entry was 99.9% my work. It amazes me that True Christian™ women would balk at the fact that a couple of my employees helped ensure the ears were sticking up straight while I worked on my red velvet cross that bleeds pudding on the kneeling penitents below.
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My beloved Sister, I've just seen the picture of that horrifying pagan thing your slaves baked, and I would like to remind you that this is a CHRISTIAN cake contest, and Easter has absolutely nothing to do with some pagan celebration of spring and fertility!
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 180
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Location: Pearland, Texas
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Re: Easter Bake Off! -
03-30-2014, 04:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa
Sister Daisy Mae, what a beautiful cake! Really, why bother having a contest, when we all know (and it's proven once again) that your skills are absolutely superior!
Sister Mo7, what talented children you have! Maybe one of these cakes will earn your Godly family the second place in this competition!
Sister Tara, what a lovely cake, but where is Jesus on it? I'm afrait it may get disqualified by the judges.
I see that some of you have put a lot of effort into baking these cakes, while some bitter and hateful old maids are bragging about themselves and criticizing others, but are not able to produce an actual entry for the contest.
Well, anyway, I know that my skills are nowhere near those of Daisy Mae, but here it is - my entry:
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Sister Basilissa,
I just did not want to offend anyone. During my younger years my father did not allow any images of Jesus. He was very strict on that. So I always just did what he said. I once made a cake with Jesus surrounded by flowers and I got whipped for it. He made me recite Exodus 20:4. I hope you understand my father was very strict and I have a little love scar to prove it! So I just follow Exodus 20:12 and that kept me out of trouble.
Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
Exodus 20:12
Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth:
Exodus 20:4
I did not expect to win there are some pretty cakes here! Plus I can see it is a pretty competitive group
Charter Member Pearland, Texas
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True Christian™ with a quiverful
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Posts: 2,243
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Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Easter Bake Off! -
03-30-2014, 04:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TaraAnne
Sister Basilissa,
I just did not want to offend anyone. During my younger years my father did not allow any images of Jesus. He was very strict on that. So I always just did what he said. I once made a cake with Jesus surrounded by flowers and I got whipped for it. He made me recite Exodus 20:4. I hope you understand my father was very strict and I have a little love scar to prove it! So I just follow Exodus 20:12 and that kept me out of trouble.
Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
Exodus 20:12
Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth:
Exodus 20:4
I did not expect to win there are some pretty cakes here! Plus I can see it is a pretty competitive group
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Dear Tara, your cake is beautiful Unfortunately, there is one disruptive element - a barren old maid, who constantly tries to pit us against each other for her own amusement. Fortunately, it's not working, and we are united, except for her. I hate conflict and disruption. We are all supposed to be working for the greater good - the worship of our Lord, yet we are constantly having to step over this pesky little terrier that keeps biting our heels.
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True Christian™ with a quiverful
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Posts: 2,243
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Easter Bake Off! -
03-30-2014, 04:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa
My beloved Sister, I've just seen the picture of that horrifying pagan thing your slaves baked, and I would like to remind you that this is a CHRISTIAN cake contest, and Easter has absolutely nothing to do with some pagan celebration of spring and fertility!
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Basilissa. It would seem that someone cannot read. At the top of the page in it's only little box is this
Quote:
Easter is About Jesus - Period! A seasonal forum where we celebrate the true meaning of Easter. No bunnies allowed!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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Re: Easter Bake Off! -
03-30-2014, 05:04 AM
Ladies,
I hereby withdraw my entry from the competition.
In Jesus,
NRL
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 26
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Scotland
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Re: Easter Bake Off! -
03-30-2014, 11:49 AM
What wonderful creations! Praise our Lord!
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Unsaved trash, obese teenaged pervert
Under Investigation
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Posts: 10
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: munching rugs for satan
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Re: Easter Bake Off! -
03-31-2014, 05:49 AM
idk what kind of bake offs you religious people have but back around where I live ours involve a whole lotta fat blunts *lights up in the middle of congregation* aw yeah that's some dank kush right there any a you wanna smoke some grass
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True Christian™ with a quiverful
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Posts: 2,243
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Easter Bake Off! -
03-31-2014, 05:54 AM
Speak English please, dear.
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: Easter Bake Off! -
03-31-2014, 05:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother Of Seven
Speak English please, dear.
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Don't bother: it's too hopped on on "maryjane" to respond.
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Unsaved trash, obese teenaged pervert
Under Investigation
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Posts: 10
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: munching rugs for satan
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Re: Easter Bake Off! -
03-31-2014, 06:01 AM
it's called marijuana, pops.
and I use she/her pronouns thank you very much
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True Christian™ with a quiverful
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Posts: 2,243
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Easter Bake Off! -
03-31-2014, 06:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gayfurry
and I use she/her pronouns thank you very much
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Are you a he or her then? I can't tell from your avatar.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,941
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: With Jesus
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Re: Easter Bake Off! -
03-31-2014, 06:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother Of Seven
Are you a he or her then? I can't tell from your avatar.
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From the avatar I'd say a Scottish boy, aged about 12. Underage for the site really.
2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
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True Christian™ with a quiverful
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Posts: 2,243
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Easter Bake Off! -
03-31-2014, 06:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Attila's Wife
From the avatar I'd say an obese Scottish boy, aged about 12. Underage for the site really.
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FIFY
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
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Re: Easter Bake Off! -
03-31-2014, 06:33 AM
I hope I'm not too late to offer something. So often the secularists laugh at the Death of Jesus, failing to
appreciate that Easter is about life and resurrection. I have been reading Mark, who witnesses to so
many wonderful things Jesus said and did. He is just so full of life, and he wants to fill us too.
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True Christian™ with a quiverful
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Posts: 2,243
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Easter Bake Off! -
03-31-2014, 06:40 AM
Very nice, Mitza
Quote:
And she answered and said unto him, Yes, Lord: yet the dogs under the table eat of the children's crumbs.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,941
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: With Jesus
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Re: Easter Bake Off! -
03-31-2014, 07:06 AM
Wow, Sister Mitza, that is just fabulous! And pink poodles are such a stylish accessory in the Spring 2014 catalogs. I really like the way the color tones with your hair, too.
If there is a special award for Most Godly Fashion Statement, it's yours without a doubt.
YiC
AW
2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
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