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The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
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Posts: 4,391
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: America's Frozen Attic
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I killed a niglet last month -
02-05-2011, 07:11 AM
Good Christian man as I try to be I was sponsoring a niglet child in Sierra Leone for the last few years. Of course, it was through a Christian charity rather than some UN or secular crap. It's the Christian Children's Fund (CCF). They give not only food but also a proper Christian education. I was getting attached to the little guy, he was so cute, what having no hands and all. Apparently a lot of people in Sierra Leone have no hands for some reason.
I received an email from the CCF today.
Quote:
Your January sponsorship payment of $38 was declined by your Visa provider. As such, your sponsored child, 8 year old Ungowa[click] Mahoola[click][click] Ungak was unable to be fed. He endured for 3 weeks but expired on January 26th. Ungowa[click[ does have a younger sister, 4 year old [click][click](unpronounceable)[click] and if you would like to make up for this murder you are responsible for please consider sponsoring her. Your eternal soul rests in the balance.
We can no longer accept monthly payments from you, however. if you wish to redeem your soul by sponsoring [click][click](unpronounceable)[click] you must pay in advance for one year. $456 will be charged to your Visa when you click the redemption link below.
Jesus hopes you make the right decision
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I just feel awful about this.
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Ex-prostitute on her knees for the Lord Now that she's Saved©, Priceless
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,017
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Wherever Jesus takes me
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Re: I killed a niglet last month -
02-05-2011, 07:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Enoch
I just feel awful about this.
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I wouldn't get too upset about this, Brother. Accidents happen.
Besides, its not like it he'll be the only unSaved© Niglet roasting in Hell for an eternity. Just start fresh with a new one.
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Fourm Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 9,266
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
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Re: I killed a niglet last month -
02-05-2011, 07:25 AM
Well CCF does have the word Christian in his name. Perhaps they had a chance to save his soul before he died. Perhaps Jesus had your VISA decline so that little click-click-whatever could join him before the poor child backslid into sin.
Just keep positive Brother
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: I killed a niglet last month -
02-05-2011, 11:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Enoch
a proper Christian education.. I received an email from the CCF today..
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that is quite touching; Jan 26th is Australia day, in recognition of our finally rounding up all the aborigines and transferring them (the few that remained) to mission stations -- unfortunately they were all run by convicts (or catholics ) -- how tragic when Satan hijacks a nation.
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: I killed a niglet last month -
02-05-2011, 11:17 AM
Why on earth would these people need American Dollars anyway?
It's not like they can drive into town and buy a new Gucci stoning bucket or even a bargain bucket at the local KFC is it?
They need Bibles, not money.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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The Friendliest Clown in Town™ Proud recovering ex-alcoholic, ex-addict, and ex-convict
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Posts: 197
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Wherever the Lord takes me
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Re: I killed a niglet last month -
02-05-2011, 11:26 AM
Eh, plenty more where that came from.
Just one niglet out of millions. Don't lose sleep over it.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,216
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: West of Eden
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Re: I killed a niglet last month -
02-05-2011, 02:57 PM
Brother Enoch,
God chose you (via the Visa Card imbroglio) as a vessel in carrying out more of His curse upon the Hamites!
You are indeed finding favor in His sight!
Is it possible for you to 'sponsor' a busload of niglets?
PRAISE JESUS!!!!
Jud 1:15 To execute judgment upon all, and to convince all that are un Godly among them of all their un Godly deeds which they have un Godly committed, and of all their hard [speeches] which un Godly sinners have spoken against him.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: I killed a niglet last month -
02-05-2011, 04:05 PM
I wonder if you can make a little trust for a niglet, and have the CCF dole out food only when the child memorizes a new chapter of the KJV Bible. This seems infinitely more helpful than fattening up some heathen for no reason.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,216
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: West of Eden
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Re: I killed a niglet last month -
02-05-2011, 04:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
I wonder if you can make a little trust for a niglet, and have the CCF dole out food only when the child memorizes a new chapter of the KJV Bible. This seems infinitely more helpful than fattening up some heathen for no reason.
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Sadly, I can't help but think there is a streak of liberalism in the CCF, the fattening up does have a purpose; creating more welfare niglets. I will have to pray on this . . .
Jud 1:15 To execute judgment upon all, and to convince all that are un Godly among them of all their un Godly deeds which they have un Godly committed, and of all their hard [speeches] which un Godly sinners have spoken against him.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: I killed a niglet last month -
02-05-2011, 04:15 PM
Brother Enoch, do not worry about it, sometimes you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet. After all, it was just a niglet, not like was a worthwhile person.
I suggest going out to breakfast at Denny's, having a hearty meal and forgetting about it.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
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Posts: 15,473
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Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: I killed a niglet last month -
02-05-2011, 05:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Enoch
I was getting attached to the little guy, he was so cute
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You could always go to the Zoo and get a new one. At least it would be American.
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Winning Souls in his Winnebago
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Posts: 3,893
Join Date: May 2010
Location: travelling the heartland in my Winnebago.
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Re: I killed a niglet last month -
02-05-2011, 06:42 PM
Quote:
We can no longer accept monthly payments from you, however. if you wish to redeem your soul by sponsoring [click][click](unpronounceable)[click] you must pay in advance for one year. $456 will be charged to your Visa when you click the redemption link below.
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Brother Enoch think long and hard before sending a whole years money to one of these children. You never know what they will spend the money on. They might use it to buy drugs, you see the same kind of thing, in any big city, whenever tax refund checks get mailed out.
1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,216
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: West of Eden
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Re: I killed a niglet last month -
02-05-2011, 06:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Enoch
I just feel awful about this.
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Brother Enoch, it seems that Visa has inflicted some considerable emotional distress upon you. Have you considered seeking legal representation?
Jud 1:15 To execute judgment upon all, and to convince all that are un Godly among them of all their un Godly deeds which they have un Godly committed, and of all their hard [speeches] which un Godly sinners have spoken against him.
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Unsaved trash, Suspected witch
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Posts: 80
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: On the couch of a good samaritan
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Re: I killed a niglet last month -
02-05-2011, 07:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis
Brother Enoch think long and hard before sending a whole years money to one of these children. You never know what they will spend the money on. They might use it to buy drugs, you see the same kind of thing, in any big city, whenever tax refund checks get mailed out.
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Any sponsership fund uses the money thats sent in to buy food and clean (not contaminated) water for that child and to send them to school.
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Friendliest Fellow in all of Freehold
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Posts: 950
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing, Freehold, Iowa.
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Re: I killed a niglet last month -
02-05-2011, 07:54 PM
Seems like a waste of money to me, they deserve what they get for not caring about Christianity and instead begging for food all the time.
Psalm 37:25
I have been young, and [now] am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.
Praise! , don't send the little coons a penny.
6 A woman came up to me the other day, 12/6/2016 and said:
"But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"
Because GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
If he was all loving, then murderers, thieves and homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.
GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are guaranteed a ride with JESUS.
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The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,391
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: America's Frozen Attic
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Re: I killed a niglet last month -
02-05-2011, 08:07 PM
I thank you all for your support and words of wisdom. I've given this a lot of thought and a lot of prayer over the past 24 hours. $456 is a LOT of money to keep one little niglet alive for one year. And she's only 4! She'll probably need to be fed for the next 12 years. That's close to $6000 dollars! For just ONE niglet!
And then, after feeding her for 12 years, she'll start popping out a new litter of niglets, all of whom will have to be fed too.
No, my money can definitely be better spent elsewhere. I'm going to transfer my $456 to the Landover Pastor's Fund where it will be put to much better use. I understand Pastor Ezekiel could use a new set of snow tires for his Escalade.
And thank you, brothers and sisters, for clearing up my muddled thinking. I don't know what I'd do without you all.
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Fourm Member
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Posts: 9,266
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Location: On my way to Paradise
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Re: I killed a niglet last month -
02-05-2011, 08:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Enoch
I thank you all for your support and words of wisdom. I've given this a lot of thought and a lot of prayer over the past 24 hours. $456 is a LOT of money to keep one little niglet alive for one year. And she's only 4! She'll probably need to be fed for the next 12 years. That's close to $6000 dollars! For just ONE niglet!
And then, after feeding her for 12 years, she'll start popping out a new litter of niglets, all of whom will have to be fed too.
No, my money can definitely be better spent elsewhere. I'm going to transfer my $456 to the Landover Pastor's Fund where it will be put to much better use. I understand Pastor Ezekiel could use a new set of snow tires for his Escalade.
And thank you, brothers and sisters, for clearing up my muddled thinking. I don't know what I'd do without you all.
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Well there you go, at least your little nigglet won't be responsible for a new welfare generation.
Perhaps we can find/start an African spay/neuter program? I don't understand why we do this to stop starving cats, starving dogs, but not starving niglets. Instead the catholics seem to be over there trying to make them breed as many as possible.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: I killed a niglet last month -
02-05-2011, 11:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Enoch
$6000
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It might cost less than that. This is from Nigeria - but the pattern is pan-African I think.
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Unsaved trash, Suspected witch
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Posts: 80
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: On the couch of a good samaritan
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Re: I killed a niglet last month -
02-06-2011, 05:28 PM
Well, in case you feel like doing any other charitable deeds, I found this organization. You can either do a general donation, or you can choose to send a family an animal or a specific crop that they can actually live off of, or you can send bibles to the children or any other type of gift that you choose.
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The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,391
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: America's Frozen Attic
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Re: I killed a niglet last month -
02-06-2011, 05:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SpiritualistGirl
Well, in case you feel like doing any other charitable deeds, I found this organization. You can either do a general donation, or you can choose to send a family an animal or a specific crop that they can actually live off of, or you can send bibles to the children or any other type of gift that you choose.
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Birth control? An old x-ray machine for the kids to play with? Land mines? Anthrax?
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