[Lycia The Repentant]

Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter

Sister Lycia,

Not sure why or how I got this in my electronic mail. Can you help this poor thing? I have no idea what to do with this.

Oh gosh! I'll certainly see what I can do, Brother.

id like to stoop being a hooker but it is the oldest professsion in the world and serves many purposess. it doesnt really hurt anybody and is my onlyu sourrce of money. if i stop andd belieeve in Jesus how will I make any moneyy?

shelly

Dear Shelly,

First of all, let me say how much it warms my heart to see a fallen lady want to stop worshiping tallywhackers and start worshiping Jesus! However, since you have decided to spend your time studying male anatomy instead of studying the Bible there are a lot of misconceptions in your message that we will need to clear up.

To start, tempting men out of their money and their virtue is definitely NOT the oldest profession in the world. Men were plowing fields long before some harlot came up with the idea of seducing men into plowing them for money. In fact, the oldest profession in the world is either farming or shepherding (the Bible isn't exactly clear on this).

"And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground." Genesis 4:2

So please do not try to make the act of ensnaring men and leading them into death sound legitimate by passing it off as the oldest profession in the world. Us women don't get ideas very often, so after Eve had that one about eating the fruit, it probably took a couple of centuries before we had the idea to sell our bodies for money (These are actually two great examples of why we shouldn't be doing any thinking, I hope you're paying attention).

Which brings me to my next point. There is only one purpose to being a whore, and it is certainly NOT a purpose we women should be working towards, because it DOES hurt people. The only reason a woman would be a whore is if she isn't content with going to Hell by herself and wants to drag every man she's ever fornicated with there too. And don't think you're getting any pleasure out of it, unless you've become so confused that you think doing Satan's work and casting men down into the lake of fire is pleasurable.

"To deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with her words; Which forsaketh the guide of her youth, and forgetteth the covenant of her God. For her house inclineth unto death, and her paths unto the dead. None that go unto her return again, neither take they hold of the paths of life." Proverbs 2:16-18

"Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths. For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her. Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death." Proverbs 7:25-27

"Whoso is simple, let him turn in hither: and as for him that wanteth understanding, she saith to him, Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant. But he knoweth not that the dead are there; and that her guests are in the depths of hell." Proverbs 9:16-18

Now, I think you can understand exactly why you need to leave your deathstyle choice, let's get on to your concern about money. If you believe in Jesus, you will find everything you need will be provided for you!

"And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive." Matthew 21:22

Of course, since you are still a filthy unsaved slut, and I doubt Jesus will listen to your prayers, I have taken the liberty of listing out a few professions acceptable for unmarried women so you can have some money while you wait to find a husband.

"She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard." Proverbs 31:16

"She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff." Proverbs 31:18-19

"She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant." Proverbs 31:24

"And found a certain Jew named Aquila, born in Pontus, lately come from Italy, with his wife Priscilla; (because that Claudius had commanded all Jews to depart from Rome: ) and came unto them. And because he was of the same craft, he abode with them, and wrought: for by their occupation they were tentmakers." Acts 18:2-3

"And a certain woman named Lydia, a seller of purple, of the city of Thyatira, which worshipped God, heard us: whose heart the Lord opened, that she attended unto the things which were spoken of Paul." Acts 16:14

So, while you're waiting to get Saved© and finding yourself a husband, Shelly, you can either be a farmer, seamstress, tentmaker (not the kind of tentmaking you're thinking of, but the king where you make tents for people to sleep in) or a seller of purple. Any other choice of career may be sinful and it would be best to ask a pastor about that.

Now then Shelley, are you ready to drop to your knees and let Jesus enter you?

Your's in Christ,

Lycia