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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Default Re: Hey. I made it! - 08-25-2007, 03:14 PM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Billy-Reuben View Post

They ought not to be making fun of DemonBuster. Demons are a serious problem, and I have found the information on that site to be extremely useful.

Pastor Billy-Reuben
Hey Pastor Billy, guess what? I have relatives living in the foothills of North Carolina (just like you)

They're Presbyterians, and they say they've spotted demons capering about in the woods behind their house! (nasty little buggers! ugly scary little things!)

... let us pray, noddy


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Default Re: Hey. I made it! - 08-25-2007, 06:53 PM

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Originally Posted by minister noddy View Post
Hey Pastor Billy, guess what? I have relatives living in the foothills of North Carolina (just like you)

They're Presbyterians, and they say they've spotted demons capering about in the woods behind their house! (nasty little buggers! ugly scary little things!)
Well, then they's no question as to why they's demons behind they house! Thass what happen when you rejects Jesus. You needta get them to come to the LORD so that He be able to chase them demons away from 'em. You probably just gonna tickle they ears with yo Angli-con deceptions instead, though.


"He went on CNN and he laughed at us, and he said, 'They'll never get me because Allah will protect me. Allah will protect me.' Well, you know what? I knew that my God was bigger than his. I knew that my God was a real God and his was an idol." - Lt. General William G. Boykin

Last edited by Sista Lateefah; 08-25-2007 at 06:59 PM.
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Default Re: Hey. I made it! - 08-25-2007, 07:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by minister noddy View Post
Hey Pastor Billy, guess what? I have relatives living in the foothills of North Carolina (just like you)

They're Presbyterians, and they say they've spotted demons capering about in the woods behind their house! (nasty little buggers! ugly scary little things!)

... let us pray, noddy
Do they have enough cash to pay a team of Demonbusters from Landover to fly out and make short work of the Demons?


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Hey. I made it! - 08-26-2007, 02:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sista Lateefah View Post

Well, then they's no question as to why they's demons behind they house! Thass what happen when you rejects Jesus. You needta get them to come to the LORD so that He be able to chase them demons away from 'em. You probably just gonna tickle they ears with yo Angli-con deceptions instead, though.
That's soooooo true, Sister Lateefah sweetie! If they survive the critter infestation and manage to get here to Landover to get saved, why, they'll just have to avoid reading my namby pamby sissy false-christian panthe-can church posts, lest they get confused!



1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Default Re: Hey. I made it! - 08-26-2007, 03:08 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post

Do they have enough cash to pay a team of Demonbusters from Landover to fly out and make short work of the Demons?
To tell you the truth Al, I'm not at all sure what kind of circumstances they're in these days ...

Living in the foothills of the Great Smoky, mountain cabin, you know ... no running water, no phone, middle of nowhere, deep woods and dirt roads ...

Got a scribbled letter from cousin Hilly Billy about a month ago, envelope was all soggy and smeared, and I owed the missing postage on the darned thing too ...

The letter was dated Novemberder 37th, 1998 ...

Could hardly read the chickenscratch, Pastor Al! ... because of his hand ...

Cousin Hilly mentioned he was writing with his left hand, had some kind of injury to his right one, right hand all infected ... hmmmm

... now yoooou got me concerned, noddy


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Default Re: Hey. I made it! - 08-27-2007, 04:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by minister noddy View Post
Hey Pastor Billy, guess what? I have relatives living in the foothills of North Carolina (just like you)

They're Presbyterians, and they say they've spotted demons capering about in the woods behind their house! (nasty little buggers! ugly scary little things!)

... let us pray, noddy
Wow! That reminds me of the demon I had in MY very own front lawn last October.

I went out front and yelled at the vile demon at the top of my lungs "IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST I DEMAND THAT YOU LEAVE. GET THE HENCE DEMON! GET THE GONE"!

Don't ya know that little demon high tailed it out of my front yard and I haven't seen him again.

When in doubt, call on JESUS. HE always wins! (I had a shovel ready to hit him over the head with, but thanks to HIM, I didn't need to use it)

GLORY!!

Lve, Sister Thumper
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Default Re: Hey. I made it! - 08-27-2007, 08:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post

Wow! That reminds me of the demon I had in MY very own front lawn last October.

I went out front and yelled at the vile demon at the top of my lungs "IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST I DEMAND THAT YOU LEAVE. GET THEE HENCE DEMON! GET THE GONE"!

Don't ya know that little demon high tailed it out of my front yard and I haven't seen him again.

When in doubt, call on JESUS. HE always wins! (I had a shovel ready to hit him over the head with, but thanks to HIM, I didn't need to use it)

GLORY!!

Lve, Sister Thumper
Yessssssssss, that's THEM, Sister Thumper! ugly monstrous things with tarantula's legs sprouting from their repulsive bodies!

AAAAARRRRGGGHHHH! Sister, I've called the Sheriff of the town nearest my cousin Hilly Billy's place, and the nice man said he'd take the four-wheel-drive up there to check on him and his family ...

(really very concerned, it's the infection in Hilly's hand, you know, and of course the fact that they haven't been heard from in the past nine years)

... calling on the Name of Jesus, a faithful noddy


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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