Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > False Religions and Cults
Reload this Page Christianity: The only TRUE religion- A concept made simple
False Religions and Cults Catholics, Wiccans, Lutherans, Satanists, Mormons, and more!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Zephaniah's Avatar
Zephaniah Zephaniah is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™
 
Posts: 108
Join Date: Sep 2006
Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Christianity: The only TRUE religion- A concept made simple - 07-18-2007, 03:04 PM

We've been saying this for years, but I thought I might as well spell it out in logical terms for all you so-called "rational" people out there who will insist on hating Jesus, hating America, and hating yourselves. Biblical law MUST be initiated in America, and the rest of the world, and all other religions but True Christianity must be wiped out.

Supposing you're the principal of a body of education, and you're looking for a new Mathematics specialist to teach there. You interview three applicants, and ask each one the question "What is 2+2?". Simple enough. Imagine that each one gave a different response.

1. 2+2= 22
2. 2+2= 4
3. 2+2= 5

Now, which one would you offer the job to? The obvious answer is number 2. when queried on this decision, you would obviously tell your questioner "The other applicants did not possess correct knowledge of Mathematics." And it's true. Everyone knows the correct answer is four. Just look in a Landover Approved Mathematics textbook (heathen textbooks may cause homosexuality, don't use them) if you don't believe me.

Now, imagine a different scenario. You're the head of a city's planning department. Three people come to you asking to build religious temples in the city, and you can only allow one of them to do so. You ask them one question, "What is your religion?", they answer as follows:

1. Judaism
2. Christianity
3. Islam

Now, surely the choice is as simple as it was for the Mathematics teacher. It's obviously the man wanting to build a GODLY Christian church! When asked why you favoured him, it's obvious you would have to say "The other two didn't possess the correct knowledge of GOD." And this is true. The Bible, GOD's book, tells us plain and simple, in several instances, that the only religion GOD will ever accept is Christianity.

Therefore, as sure as 2+2=4, Christianity is the only TRUE religion. GLORY!
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Homertard's Avatar
Homertard Homertard is offline
Glue Huffer claims to be an elderly Nazi
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 666
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Unknown
Homertard is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Christianity: The only TRUE religion- A concept made simple - 07-18-2007, 03:06 PM

But what if it was 2+2= 22, on Christainity?
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Brother Temperance's Avatar
Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
Senior Usher
True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
A very nice young man
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 2nd class Christian Love Saved 5 Years The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Heterosexual™ Ex-Christ-Killer Public Awareness Medal Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus TC Bravery Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Ex-Brit True Republican Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Christianity: The only TRUE religion- A concept made simple - 07-18-2007, 03:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Omerta View Post
But what if it was 2+2= 22, on Christainity?
And what if you made a worthwhile post, or made a lick of sense? Stop worrying about things that will never happen and start worrying about the fact that GOD is going to gut you like a fish if you don't repent, and fast.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Homertard's Avatar
Homertard Homertard is offline
Glue Huffer claims to be an elderly Nazi
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 666
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Unknown
Homertard is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Christianity: The only TRUE religion- A concept made simple - 07-18-2007, 03:17 PM

Sadly, if you can't understand me, it's not my fault. It is your's alone. Just as I cannot understand you, which is my fault. I don't really fit in with madmen, afterall.
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
SalvationSeeker's Avatar
SalvationSeeker SalvationSeeker is offline
True Christian™ Theologian
Forum Member
 
Posts: 3,979
Join Date: Sep 2006
SalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Christianity: The only TRUE religion- A concept made simple - 07-18-2007, 03:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Omerta View Post
Sadly, if you can't understand me, it's not my fault. It is your's alone. Just as I cannot understand you, which is my fault. I don't really fit in with madmen, afterall.
We understand what you're saying, the problem is that you don't make any sense.
You make this hypothetical "what if" example that WILL NEVER EVER HAPPEN.

It's like saying, 'what if pigs started flying? what then?' Or 'what if I could live on the sun?'
It's not going to happen, and just asking such a silly hypothetical question only makes you look (even more) stupid.

Stop this sillyness and accept Jesus Christ as Lord and your personal Saviour.
Do something right for once.


If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13

Last edited by SalvationSeeker; 07-18-2007 at 03:33 PM.
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Homertard's Avatar
Homertard Homertard is offline
Glue Huffer claims to be an elderly Nazi
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 666
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Unknown
Homertard is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Christianity: The only TRUE religion- A concept made simple - 07-18-2007, 03:36 PM

Already have, but your convinced I havn't. So we have a problem. Hence why your mad for not beileveing a fellow Christain.
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Kazoo's Avatar
Kazoo Kazoo is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 204
Join Date: Jun 2007
Kazoo is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Christianity: The only TRUE religion- A concept made simple - 07-18-2007, 03:43 PM

A Brief History of Christianity:

As we all know, Christianity was formed from the teachings of Christ around what is now referred to as 0 AD. Now, many converted to this newly founded religion--the Jews of Judaea, the Greek Jews of the Diaspora, Pagans, etc. As mentioned below, there are various polytheistic ploys used by Christianity, such as the Holy Trinity, that could have well been used as a tool to convert many of the polytheists of the time, namely Pagans.

Until around the third century AD, Christians suffered the brunt of religious persecution as many existing Jews saw this new budding religion as heresy. However, this persecution greatly subsided when the Roman Emperor Constantine converted to Christianity. It was also around this time, and due to this fact, that Christian places of worship were erected and worship became much more widespread. Furthermore, it was at the time of Rome's adoption of this religion that Rabbinic Judaism was formed, from which all modern sects descend.

As time progressed, Christianity spread throughout Europe and underwent multiple schisms, dividing it into three major branches. The first, Roman Catholicism, succeeded the church established in Rome shortly after Christ's death and has been predominant in Ireland, Poland, France, and Spain since that time. The second branch is Eastern Orthodox, which was formed from the Roman Catholic Church in the fourth century AD and was primarily a political decision with the eastern and western divisions of the Roman Empire.

Finally, the third and most recent division is the Protestant branch, originating during the Reformation (sixteenth and seventeenth centuries). Protestant denominations differ in the degree in which they reject Catholic belief and practice. Some, such as Lutherans, still resemble Catholicism in their formal liturgy, while others, such as Baptists, retain very few ties to the liturgy and traditions of the Catholic Church.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, as you can see, Christianity in its roots has had multiple dividing principles throughout the last two millenia, resulting in ultimately two schisms and the formation of about a dozen main denominations, currently in existence. These major divisions aside, many of the ideas introduced in Christianity are hardly original, so to speak. A few points off the top of my head that one might mention to support this are as follows and will also be summarized at the end of this post:
  • Hercule being the son of a God and a mortal woman, performing heroic, near miraculous feats, and then being killed by an enemy and ascending to the stars? Not at all reminiscent of Jesus being the son of God and a mortal woman, performing miracles, being killed by his enemies, and ascending to Heaven. Oh... wait...
  • The holy trinity, not at all a slight ploy to help convert the numerous polytheists (the Pagans) of the day.
JESUS:
  1. Born of a virgin on December 25th
  2. His birth was announced by a star in the east
  3. His earthly father was called Joseph
  4. Taught in a temple at age 12
  5. Baptized at age 30 - having disappeared for 18 years - in the river Jordan by John the Baptist
  6. Had 12 disciples, two of whom were his "witnesses" (the two Johns)
  7. Performed miracles, exorcised demons, and raised Lazarus from the dead
  8. Walked on water
  9. Delivered a Sermon on the Mount, after which his sayings were used by his followers
  10. Transfigured on the Mount
  11. Crucified between two thieves, buried for three days in a tomb, and resurrected
  12. Known as "The Way, the Truth, and the Light," "Messiah," "God's Anointed Son," "Son of Man," the "Good Shepherd," "Lamb of God," the "Word made flesh," the "Word of Truth," etc.
  13. Associated with the Fish (Ichthys, or the "Jesus fish"), Lamb, and Lion
  14. Was supposed to reign "one thousand years"
  15. Known as the Christ, or the "Anointed One"

HORUS/OSIRIS
  1. Born of a virgin on December 25th
  2. His birth was announced by a star in the east
  3. His earthly father was called Seb (roughly translated to "Joseph")
  4. Taught in a temple at age 12
  5. Baptized at age 30 - having disappeared for 18 years - in the river Eridanus/Iarutana (roughly translated to "Jordan") by Anup the Baptizer (John the Baptist)
  6. Had 12 disciples, two of whom were his "witnesses" (Anup and Aan, the two "Johns")
  7. Performed miracles, exorcised demons, and raised "El-Azarus" (strikingly similar to Lazarus) from the dead
  8. Walked on water
  9. Delivered a Sermon on the Mount, after which his sayings were used by his followers (The Sayings of Iusa)
  10. Transfigured on the Mount
  11. Crucified between two thieves, buried for three days in a tomb, and resurrected
  12. Known as "The Way, the Truth, and the Light," "Messiah," "God's Anointed Son," "Son of Man," the "Good Shepherd," "Lamb of God," the "Word made flesh," the "Word of Truth," etc.
  13. Associated with the Fish (Ichthys, or the "Jesus fish"), Lamb, and Lion
  14. Was supposed to reign "one thousand years"
  15. Known as the "KRST," or the "Anointed One"



Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
SalvationSeeker's Avatar
SalvationSeeker SalvationSeeker is offline
True Christian™ Theologian
Forum Member
 
Posts: 3,979
Join Date: Sep 2006
SalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Christianity: The only TRUE religion- A concept made simple - 07-18-2007, 03:46 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Omerta View Post
Already have, but your convinced I havn't. So we have a problem. Hence why your mad for not beileveing a fellow Christain.
If you have accepted Jesus then why don't you keep the commandments?
It's IMPOSSIBLE to break them if you've truly accepted Jesus.

He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.
1 John 2:4

^ And you well know that Jesus is the truth. (John 14:6) And as such, Jesus is not in you.
You are unsaved.

Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not:
Whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him.
1 John 3:6

Little children, let no man deceive you:
He that doeth righteousness is righteous, even as He is righteous.
1 John 3:7

If Jesus is truly in your heart, the commandments is written on your heart, as Jesus is the Word made flesh. (John 1:14)
You believe, but you have not accepted Jesus into your heart, and thus you are unsaved.
Thus you have the faith of a devil (James 2:19), and that will not save you come judgement day!

Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin;
For his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.
1 John 3:9

You are nothing but unsaved trash and you better accept Jesus and all His commandments ASAP!


If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Kazoo's Avatar
Kazoo Kazoo is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 204
Join Date: Jun 2007
Kazoo is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Christianity: The only TRUE religion- A concept made simple - 07-18-2007, 03:46 PM

Quote:
...formed from the Roman Catholic Church in the fourth century AD and was primarily a political decision with the eastern and western divisions of the Roman Empire.
Oopsies--a slight error there. the schism's roots of dissent can be traced back to the eighth century though the actual divide did not occur until 1054 AD.



Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.'s Avatar
Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. is offline
Scientific Advisor
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Publisher's Choice True Christian™ Saved 1 Year Silver Tither True Heterosexual™ Ex-Gay True Scientist™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Tell her once True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Flat Earth Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Trump of GOD True Christian Provider™ award Babysitter Stamp of Approval Alternative Facts Pastor Ezekiel Christian Love True Scientist™ Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 2,369
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Landover Baptist University for the Saved, Corridor 17C
Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Christianity: The only TRUE religion- A concept made simple - 07-18-2007, 03:49 PM

*Sigh* that old saying "there's nothing new under the sky" rings ever-so-true. Haven't we dealt with this a number of times already? For the last 6,000 years, people have been stealing Jesus' message in an attempt to lend legitimacy to their hare-brained schemes. Some were even so desperate as to pre-steal the ideas (like the Jews/Catholics with the Bible and Redskins with America). It is nothing more than smoke-and-mirrors to try to draw your attention away from the fact that Jesus came to save you!


Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
Kazoo's Avatar
Kazoo Kazoo is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 204
Join Date: Jun 2007
Kazoo is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Christianity: The only TRUE religion- A concept made simple - 07-18-2007, 03:51 PM

Please now, Ernest, do you really need me to destroy your premise of pre-stealing, yet again?



Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Zephaniah's Avatar
Zephaniah Zephaniah is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™
 
Posts: 108
Join Date: Sep 2006
Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Christianity: The only TRUE religion- A concept made simple - 07-18-2007, 03:55 PM

There's no NEED for a brief history of Christianity. You already have the COMPLETE history! Read the BIBLE! GLORY!
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Kazoo's Avatar
Kazoo Kazoo is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 204
Join Date: Jun 2007
Kazoo is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Christianity: The only TRUE religion- A concept made simple - 07-18-2007, 03:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zephaniah View Post
There's no NEED for a brief history of Christianity. You already have the COMPLETE history! Read the BIBLE! GLORY!
But the Bible is the closest to the truth as you can get with this particular religion. The history I provided was to show how diluted Christianity has become and how far from its roots Baptists are. ^.^



Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
Zephaniah's Avatar
Zephaniah Zephaniah is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™
 
Posts: 108
Join Date: Sep 2006
Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Zephaniah has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Christianity: The only TRUE religion- A concept made simple - 07-18-2007, 09:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. View Post
*Sigh* that old saying "there's nothing new under the sky" rings ever-so-true. Haven't we dealt with this a number of times already? For the last 6,000 years, people have been stealing Jesus' message in an attempt to lend legitimacy to their hare-brained schemes. Some were even so desperate as to pre-steal the ideas (like the Jews/Catholics with the Bible and Redskins with America). It is nothing more than smoke-and-mirrors to try to draw your attention away from the fact that Jesus came to save you!
Christianity's root is JESUS. We follow his teachings and the law laid down in the BIBLE. You should too, or you'll go to hell. Simple as that.
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
Christananddefendingothersfaiths Christananddefendingothersfaiths is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 3
Join Date: Jul 2007
Christananddefendingothersfaiths is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Exclamation Re: Christianity: The only TRUE religion- A concept made simple - 07-21-2007, 01:08 AM

Christianity the belief that a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib woman was convinced by talking snake to eat from a magical tree yeah, makes perfect sense I mean seriously in retrospect christens are screwed up

May EVERY god watch over you and show you the path of your own choice not a cults brainwash (namely this church)
Christananddefendingothersfaiths (and I guest bashing this one for that exact crime)
Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Christianity: The only TRUE religion- A concept made simple - 07-21-2007, 01:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Christananddefendingothersfaiths View Post
Christianity the belief that a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib woman was convinced by talking snake to eat from a magical tree yeah, makes perfect sense I mean seriously in retrospect christens are screwed up

May EVERY god watch over you and show you the path of your own choice not a cults brainwash (namely this church)
Christananddefendingothersfaiths (and I guest bashing this one for that exact crime)
So let me get this straight: You want to reject and ridicule the gift of temporary sacrifice made by Jesus, but you want us to go ahead and take seriously and even worship all the false Gods in the world and participate in their cults? So we should all worship the dothead God Shiva and drink human blood, but we should reject Christ? We should all worship Allah the false Moongod and help the terrorists destroy America, but we should ignore the one true God of Abraham?

You know, the Holy Bible warns us about maggots like you.

Deuteronomy 13:6-10
If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers; Namely, of the gods of the people which are round about you, nigh unto thee, or far off from thee, from the one end of the earth even unto the other end of the earth; Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him: But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people. And thou shalt stone him with stones, that he die.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#17)
Old
Sister Noddy's Avatar
Sister Noddy Sister Noddy is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™
 
Posts: 1,840
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nice house on Nob Hill
Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Christianity: The only TRUE religion- A concept made simple - 07-21-2007, 02:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post

So let me get this straight: You want to reject and ridicule the gift of temporary sacrifice made by Jesus, but you want us to go ahead and take seriously and even worship all the false Gods in the world and participate in their cults? So we should all worship the dothead God Shiva and drink human blood, but we should reject Christ? We should all worship Allah the false Moongod and help the terrorists destroy America, but we should ignore the one true God of Abraham?

You know, the Holy Bible warns us about maggots like you.
Hmmm ... I guess he didn't read the Bible ... or the forum ... before starting to post here


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
Reply With Quote
(#18)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Christianity: The only TRUE religion- A concept made simple - 07-21-2007, 02:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by minister noddy View Post
Hmmm ... I guess he didn't read the Bible ... or the forum ... before starting to post here
That is true of most of the fruitcakes and assorted unsaved scum that come wandering into our Godly forum. A pastor's work is never done.

Well, I'm off to take my daily 5 mile swim. Gotta keep those abs rock hard.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#19)
Old
Sister Noddy's Avatar
Sister Noddy Sister Noddy is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™
 
Posts: 1,840
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nice house on Nob Hill
Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sister Noddy has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Christianity: The only TRUE religion- A concept made simple - 07-21-2007, 06:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post

That is true of most of the fruitcakes and assorted unsaved scum that come wandering into our Godly forum. A pastor's work is never done.

Well, I'm off to take my daily 5 mile swim. Gotta keep those abs rock hard.
Hmmm ... I bet you do, Pastor ... bet you are lookin' good


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
Reply With Quote
(#20)
Old
Brother Temperance's Avatar
Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
Senior Usher
True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
A very nice young man
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 2nd class Christian Love Saved 5 Years The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Heterosexual™ Ex-Christ-Killer Public Awareness Medal Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus TC Bravery Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Ex-Brit True Republican Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Christianity: The only TRUE religion- A concept made simple - 07-21-2007, 09:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Christananddefendingothersfaiths View Post
Christianity the belief that a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib woman was convinced by talking snake to eat from a magical tree yeah, makes perfect sense I mean seriously in retrospect christens are screwed up
...Christananddefendingothersfaiths
In what sense exactly are you a "Christan"?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
true christians™

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved