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Default HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! - 04-27-2012, 07:21 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISTER SUV!




I hope JESUS was extra good to you today!






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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! - 04-27-2012, 08:07 PM

A time, as always, Sister SUV, for considering all those occasions that you might have offended Jesus, asking His Forgiveness and re-dedicating your life to Him.

I am praying the Lord will see fit to relief you of the cause of your embarrassing itching.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! - 04-27-2012, 09:02 PM

My condolences, Sister SUV, I'm sure the Lord will call us all to Heaven soon. Better late than never.


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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! - 04-27-2012, 09:35 PM

SUV, I know that you are in the US and I am in Godless England but I truly believe that any day now we (and all Landover true Christians) will meet each other in the clouds when sweet Jesus comes to separate the wheat from the chaff. I pray it will be tomorrow.

1 Thessalonians 4:17 Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.

GLORY!

Jack


Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.



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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! - 04-27-2012, 11:05 PM

Happy Birthday, little lady! I got you a folding chair. In the envelope is the reciept from Wal*Mart in case you need to return it. You can bring the chair back at the end of the summer and get a sweater.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! - 04-28-2012, 02:47 AM

Happy Birthday sister, but I've got a bone to pick with you. The next time you blurt out "Merry Christmas!" at the end of one of my sermons, I'm going to have you escorted out of the church. And don't you think I won't! The proper response is "Shout Glory!" or something along those lines.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! - 04-28-2012, 05:31 PM

ALL GLORY TO GOD! And also some to the rest of you, especially Sister Daisy - who I see will have her hands full with Pastor Ezekiel in their Marriage if he is such a Christmas-Hater
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Thinks Design is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Thinks Design is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Thinks Design is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Thinks Design is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Thinks Design is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Thinks Design is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Thinks Design is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Thinks Design is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Thinks Design is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Thinks Design is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! - 04-28-2012, 05:51 PM

That Pastor is getting married?

Really?



ThinksDesign.
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SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! - 04-28-2012, 06:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ThinksDesign View Post
That Pastor is getting married?

Really?



ThinksDesign.
We must get Pastor Ezekiel over his silly Christmas-phobia or poor Sister Daisy is going to be absolutely miserable! What Christian Lady wouldn't be without Christmas?
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! - 04-28-2012, 06:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ThinksDesign View Post
That Pastor is getting married?

Really?



ThinksDesign.
Don't go renting a tux just yet. Zeke and Thumper have been "engaged" for over a decade now.
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! - 04-28-2012, 11:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fleur-de-lis View Post
Don't go renting a tux just yet. Zeke and Thumper have been "engaged" for over a decade now.
And what business is that of yours, harlot? I just hate it when busybodies stick their noses into other people's lives. The damage you've done to our relationship is immeasurable. It will no doubt delay our wedding day by another year at least.

I hope you're happy.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! - 04-29-2012, 12:38 AM

I'll fix her, Pastor.

Hey, "fleur" of Satan! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! - 04-29-2012, 11:41 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SUV View Post
I'll fix her, Pastor.

Hey, "fleur" of Satan! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
Happy Birthday young lady and a very Merry Christmas!!

Noah


Genesis 7:5
And Noah did according unto all that the LORD commanded him.


John 8:32
And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.


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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! - 04-29-2012, 04:58 PM

I will congratulate you as soon as you visit my house to bring me some birthday cake.


Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! - 05-01-2012, 04:28 AM

Oh dear, Sister SUV's birthday came and went, and I was nowhere to be found! I am deeply sorry to be offering you such belated birthday wishes! This serves as a solemn reminder of my own unworthiness, and that all credit belongs to God.


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