General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
|
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
|
|
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! -
04-27-2012, 07:21 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISTER SUV!
I hope JESUS was extra good to you today!
|
|
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
|
|
Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! -
04-27-2012, 08:07 PM
A time, as always, Sister SUV, for considering all those occasions that you might have offended Jesus, asking His Forgiveness and re-dedicating your life to Him.
I am praying the Lord will see fit to relief you of the cause of your embarrassing itching.
|
|
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! -
04-27-2012, 09:02 PM
My condolences, Sister SUV, I'm sure the Lord will call us all to Heaven soon. Better late than never.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
|
|
With faith as immovable as the Earth
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 4,779
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Body in England but HEART IN FREEHOLD!
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! -
04-27-2012, 09:35 PM
SUV, I know that you are in the US and I am in Godless England but I truly believe that any day now we (and all Landover true Christians) will meet each other in the clouds when sweet Jesus comes to separate the wheat from the chaff. I pray it will be tomorrow.
1 Thessalonians 4:17 Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.
GLORY!
Jack
Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
|
|
True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
|
|
Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! -
04-27-2012, 11:05 PM
Happy Birthday, little lady! I got you a folding chair. In the envelope is the reciept from Wal*Mart in case you need to return it. You can bring the chair back at the end of the summer and get a sweater.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
|
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! -
04-28-2012, 02:47 AM
Happy Birthday sister, but I've got a bone to pick with you. The next time you blurt out "Merry Christmas!" at the end of one of my sermons, I'm going to have you escorted out of the church. And don't you think I won't! The proper response is "Shout Glory!" or something along those lines.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
|
True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
|
|
Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! -
04-28-2012, 05:31 PM
ALL GLORY TO GOD! And also some to the rest of you, especially Sister Daisy - who I see will have her hands full with Pastor Ezekiel in their Marriage if he is such a Christmas-Hater
|
|
Unsaved trash false psuedo Christian
|
|
Posts: 366
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Blewbury
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! -
04-28-2012, 05:51 PM
That Pastor is getting married?
Really?
ThinksDesign.
|
|
True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
|
|
Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! -
04-28-2012, 06:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThinksDesign
That Pastor is getting married?
Really?
ThinksDesign.
|
We must get Pastor Ezekiel over his silly Christmas-phobia or poor Sister Daisy is going to be absolutely miserable! What Christian Lady wouldn't be without Christmas?
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 161
Join Date: Apr 2012
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! -
04-28-2012, 06:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThinksDesign
That Pastor is getting married?
Really?
ThinksDesign.
|
Don't go renting a tux just yet. Zeke and Thumper have been "engaged" for over a decade now.
|
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! -
04-28-2012, 11:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fleur-de-lis
Don't go renting a tux just yet. Zeke and Thumper have been "engaged" for over a decade now.
|
And what business is that of yours, harlot? I just hate it when busybodies stick their noses into other people's lives. The damage you've done to our relationship is immeasurable. It will no doubt delay our wedding day by another year at least.
I hope you're happy.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
|
True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
|
|
Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! -
04-29-2012, 12:38 AM
I'll fix her, Pastor.
Hey, "fleur" of Satan! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 864
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Following God's commands - including the 'difficult' ones.
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! -
04-29-2012, 11:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SUV
I'll fix her, Pastor.
Hey, "fleur" of Satan! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
|
Happy Birthday young lady and a very Merry Christmas!!
Noah
Genesis 7:5
And Noah did according unto all that the LORD commanded him.
John 8:32
And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
|
|
Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
|
|
Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! -
04-29-2012, 04:58 PM
I will congratulate you as soon as you visit my house to bring me some birthday cake.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
|
|
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sister SUV! -
05-01-2012, 04:28 AM
Oh dear, Sister SUV's birthday came and went, and I was nowhere to be found! I am deeply sorry to be offering you such belated birthday wishes! This serves as a solemn reminder of my own unworthiness, and that all credit belongs to God.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|