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Jeb Stuart Thurmond's Avatar
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Lightbulb Let's make our own Rapture Index - 12-01-2009, 10:45 AM

I've been considering Rapture Ready's Rapture Index, and I'm starting to think it's insufficiently True Christian™.

For example, goth, emo and/or retard activity are compressed into "Satanism" even though they deserve a category of their own.

Also, when it tells us that teenage girls are dressing like harlots these days, we just have to take their word for it. I need to see the evidence for myself.

Also, the index comments on issues, but doesn't tell us if an area has gone up or down. For example, today we see the comment:

Quote:
Originally Posted by rapture ready
33 Beast Government
Europe his failed to show leadership on several
global issues.
Now, this bit confuses me. Beast government is bad, and failing to show leadership is bad, but we want the rapture, so do we support the EU Beast Government or not? Or is it a case of opposing it until the other parts of the end-times have been assembled: ie Temple rebuilt in Israel, and the rest of the world being Jew-free.

Another thing to note, Rapture Ready doesn't care if wars, rumours of wars, etc. are actually on the increase or not. After all, in Matt 24:6 He doesn't say that there will actually be wars. "Matthew 24:6 You will hear of wars and rumors of wars" Key words: HEAR and RUMORS.

Thus the rapture index has lines like:

"Violent crime has dominated the news" and "lots of books on 2012" even though violent crime was far worse on Dec 12 1993, when the rapture index was 3 times lower, and 2012 is a load of Mayan nonsense. (Watch Mel Gibson's Apocalypto to see how stupid the Mayans were - they didn't even know what an eclipse was!)

So, is the best way to bring on the Rapture to get everyone to watch Fox News, regardless of accuracy? Should we make up and spread rumors of all sorts of craziness, even if nobody will believe them? The Matt 24:6 doesn't say anthing about the rumors of wars being BELIEVABLE rumors, after all.

But Matt 24:6 isn't the only scripture about the end-times. It isn't enough for people to believe that America is Jew-free, America has to actually be Jew-free before Jesus will return.

Also, some things about Rapture Ready's Raptur Index are just wonky. For example, their lowest ever score was Dec 12 1993. 2 days after the release of DOOM, the satanic computer game that invented goth school shootings. And if Dec 12 was such a slow day, why didn't it slow further he next couple of days, when the only big news items where:

Quote:
December 13 – The Majilis of Kazakhstan approves the nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty, and agrees to dismantle the more than 100 missiles left on its territory by the fall of the USSR.

December 15 – Downing Street Declaration: The United Kingdom commits itself to the search for an answer to the problems of Northern Ireland.
That's not wars nor rumors of wars. So why did the Rapture index rise on these days? And why was it low during 1993, a year when Democrats had both Congress and the White House? If that's not Satanic activity, nothing is.

So, enough of my tangents, let's talk about what our own, improved Rapture Index will be like.


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Default Re: Let's make our own Rapture Index - 12-01-2009, 12:49 PM

It's even worse than you think:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rapture Ready
24 Persia (Iran):
President Bush warned that Iran is seeking to produce nuclear weapons.
And I'm trusting my vital rapture-preparedness to these out-of-date dinosaurs?


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Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
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Default Re: Let's make our own Rapture Index - 11-30-2013, 01:40 AM

I've been thinking about this again.

I want our improved Rapture Index too keep track of longer-term trends towards the End Times. For example, the continuing wussification of young males, which can be tracked statistically by looking at the falling violent crime and teen pregnancy rates. If that's not a sign that society is going to hell in a handbasket, what is?


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Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 11-30-2013 at 01:21 PM.
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Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
 

Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Saved 5 Years Gold Tither Heaven Bound TC Bravery TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Tagging for Jesus Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Hatchet Child Rearing Award Touched by Jesus Alternative Facts Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden

 
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Default Re: Let's make our own Rapture Index - 02-28-2018, 11:09 PM

The Rapture Index is here.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond View Post
Also, when it tells us that teenage girls are dressing like harlots these days, we just have to take their word for it. I need to see the evidence for myself.
And of course I consider the olfactory evidence also. See what a dedicated researcher I am? I bet Rapture Ready doesn't even feel women's bike seats for moisture.


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