Quote:
Originally Posted by Andover
Hello, I just happened to stumble across this forum. Kind of lost I read all the stickies but still.
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You must have had the "L" knocked out of you. Get it? Landover - Andover? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. I am very witty. It's a gift from the Lord (Proverbs 17:22). But, we must also be serious from time to time (Amos 6:1). My papist father and I traveled to Mt. Zion, Illinois once to visit his papist relative who had grown ill after eating a rancid carrot. No one was at ease in that household, for sure, but we saw a great deal of people who were running about, to and fro, just as the Bible predicts (Joel 2:9) (Daniel 12:4). We left after his papist relative stopped vomiting.
But I digress. It is a joy to welcome a newly saved sinner to the forum. You now embark on a journey with Jesus. You MUST begin reading the Bible if you're going to serve Christ. Start with Genesis and work your way through to Revelation. A truly pious person will memorize every begat that you come across (taking notes is no fair). This shows the Lord that you are dedicated to Him. (2 Timothy 2:15)
I have to ask. Do you have the multiple personality illness? You called yourself "gentlemen", which is the plural form of "gentleman." We treat all mental illness as sinful here, caused by the devil. By any chance do you reside outside the gates of your city, maybe living in a cave or something? I mean, obviously it would be a cave equipped with electricity since you used a computer to reach us (or perhaps a cell phone?). Jesus can heal you. We even offer exorcisms for a modest fee which is based on the number of demons we remove and where you want them sent. (I recommend the pits of hell, but that really makes them angry)
Do share more of your story with us, Mr. Landover without an L. May we call you "Andy," or perhaps "Mr. Over?" Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Oh I really must control my mirth.
Pray much and often; get to reading that Bible. You will find complete confirmation of its teachings in the pages of our forum, since truly every True Christian™ here is devoted to living by its precepts.
COME, LORD JESUS!
BrotherLarry (Revelation 22:12)