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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Andover Andover is offline
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Default Hello - 03-25-2017, 08:56 PM

Hello, I just happened to stumble across this forum. Kind of lost I read all the stickies but still.
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Andover Andover is offline
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Default Re: Hello - 03-25-2017, 09:01 PM

What church you go to ?A Baptist Church

What your favorite Bible verse is ?
John 15:13


How you came to find Jesus.
I just did, a feeling hit me to find him
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Basilissa Basilissa is offline
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Default Re: Hello - 03-25-2017, 10:03 PM

Hello and to our Godly forum!

I'm looking towards reading more of your contributions on this forum. Please remember to always back up your arguments with appropriate Scripture!
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Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Hello - 03-25-2017, 10:17 PM

Hello Andover. "A baptist church" you say? That's pretty general. Are you hiding something? Please let me know the name of the church so I can personally perform a background check on you. It's standard to know if there's any sin in you. But welcome to the forums and I hope you have a godly day. What do you do for work?
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Default Re: Hello - 03-25-2017, 10:43 PM

Hello. Though I'm sure the Pastors would appreciate you being a little more forthcoming with details (like, about anything), you may safely ignore this request from a lowly Forum Member:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bubba Buck View Post
...Please let me know the name of the church so I can personally perform a background check on you. It's standard to know if there's any sin in you...
"Mr." Buck is not a True Christian™, so his actions are not sanctioned by Landover Baptist Church, Inc.


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Default Re: Hello - 03-26-2017, 12:17 PM

Hello Andover! Are you a gentleman or a lady? How nice that you've stopped by to introduce yourself!

Tell me, what do you feel are the greatest concerns facing Christians today?


WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Andover Andover is offline
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Default Re: Hello - 03-26-2017, 03:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
Hello Andover! Are you a gentleman or a lady? How nice that you've stopped by to introduce yourself!

Tell me, what do you feel are the greatest concerns facing Christians today?
I am a gentlemen, thank you.


I think some of the greatest threat that Christians face is...




The Islamofacists... (Romans 1:29)



The Forgetters... (Deuteronomy 9:7-8)



Lieberals... (Revelation 21:8)
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Default Re: Hello - 03-26-2017, 03:56 PM

What is your opinion of popery?
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Jesus Re: Hello - 03-26-2017, 04:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andover View Post
Hello, I just happened to stumble across this forum. Kind of lost I read all the stickies but still.

You must have had the "L" knocked out of you. Get it? Landover - Andover? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. I am very witty. It's a gift from the Lord (Proverbs 17:22). But, we must also be serious from time to time (Amos 6:1). My papist father and I traveled to Mt. Zion, Illinois once to visit his papist relative who had grown ill after eating a rancid carrot. No one was at ease in that household, for sure, but we saw a great deal of people who were running about, to and fro, just as the Bible predicts (Joel 2:9) (Daniel 12:4). We left after his papist relative stopped vomiting.


But I digress. It is a joy to welcome a newly saved sinner to the forum. You now embark on a journey with Jesus. You MUST begin reading the Bible if you're going to serve Christ. Start with Genesis and work your way through to Revelation. A truly pious person will memorize every begat that you come across (taking notes is no fair). This shows the Lord that you are dedicated to Him. (2 Timothy 2:15)


I have to ask. Do you have the multiple personality illness? You called yourself "gentlemen", which is the plural form of "gentleman." We treat all mental illness as sinful here, caused by the devil. By any chance do you reside outside the gates of your city, maybe living in a cave or something? I mean, obviously it would be a cave equipped with electricity since you used a computer to reach us (or perhaps a cell phone?). Jesus can heal you. We even offer exorcisms for a modest fee which is based on the number of demons we remove and where you want them sent. (I recommend the pits of hell, but that really makes them angry)


Do share more of your story with us, Mr. Landover without an L. May we call you "Andy," or perhaps "Mr. Over?" Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Oh I really must control my mirth.


Pray much and often; get to reading that Bible. You will find complete confirmation of its teachings in the pages of our forum, since truly every True Christian™ here is devoted to living by its precepts.


COME, LORD JESUS!
BrotherLarry (Revelation 22:12)


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Andover Andover is offline
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Default Re: Hello - 03-26-2017, 05:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
You must have had the "L" knocked out of you. Get it? Landover - Andover?
Yes, very funny.


Quote:
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. I am very witty. It's a gift from the Lord (Proverbs 17:22). But, we must also be serious from time to time (Amos 6:1). My papist father and I traveled to Mt. Zion, Illinois once to visit his papist relative who had grown ill after eating a rancid carrot. No one was at ease in that household, for sure, but we saw a great deal of people who were running about, to and fro, just as the Bible predicts (Joel 2:9) (Daniel 12:4). We left after his papist relative stopped vomiting.
Cool Story.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
But I digress. It is a joy to welcome a newly saved sinner to the forum. You now embark on a journey with Jesus. You MUST begin reading the Bible if you're going to serve Christ. Start with Genesis and work your way through to Revelation. A truly pious person will memorize every begat that you come across (taking notes is no fair). This shows the Lord that you are dedicated to Him. (2 Timothy 2:15)
Ok what if I already did what you said?

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
I have to ask. Do you have the multiple personality illness? You called yourself "gentlemen", which is the plural form of "gentleman." We treat all mental illness as sinful here, caused by the devil. By any chance do you reside outside the gates of your city, maybe living in a cave or something? I mean, obviously it would be a cave equipped with electricity since you used a computer to reach us (or perhaps a cell phone?). Jesus can heal you. We even offer exorcisms for a modest fee which is based on the number of demons we remove and where you want them sent. (I recommend the pits of hell, but that really makes them angry)
Do you have a mental illness by saying like a 3 year old of; "taking notes is no fair"? Improper grammar may be a sign of mental illness, or you may just made a mistake, like I did with auto correct. Happens time to time.


And no, I live in a regular house provided with necessities.


Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
Do share more of your story with us, Mr. Landover without an L. May we call you "Andy," or perhaps "Mr. Over?" Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Oh I really must control my mirth.
Sure, why not?

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
Pray much and often; get to reading that Bible. You will find complete confirmation of its teachings in the pages of our forum, since truly every True Christian™ here is devoted to living by its precepts.

Done.

Last edited by Basilissa; 03-26-2017 at 05:04 PM. Reason: fixed a broken quote; you're welcome
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Default Re: Hello - 03-26-2017, 05:56 PM

Greetings Andover! I am Trevor McGregor from the island of Jamaica. I welcome you to this forum which I am not actually a member of. These are white people who are Baptists and they have been very good to me. I am sure they will be very welcoming to you too. They would like to know all about you and so would I. I am a student here in Babylon and an active member of Black Lives Matter and the Democratic Party. What do you do?


Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4
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Default Re: Hello - 03-27-2017, 03:49 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andover View Post

Do you have a mental illness by saying like a 3 year old of; "taking notes is no fair"? Improper grammar may be a sign of mental illness, or you may just made a mistake, like I did with auto correct. Happens time to time.
Done.

Good Morning Andover,


You really are not getting of to a good start. Brother Larry is a very good friend of mine and also a very accomplished gnathologist. Apart from these attributes he is also a True Christian. I would advise you to pull your neck in and behave if you really are serious about this. There will be many ups and ins and outs, especially ins and outs, before you reach the end of your journey.


I wish you all the best and will pray that you find Jesus soon.


YIC
TT


Isaiah 66:15

For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
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