Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed! |
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 14
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: In the Arms of God
|
|
How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge -
08-07-2010, 12:25 PM
I would like to get this badge, because I love having sexual intercourse with my wife nightly. I believe that should be the requirements, are there any more requirements?
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 1,074
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: On my way to Heaven!
|
|
Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge -
08-07-2010, 01:46 PM
Since you're not a True Christian™ or even a Forum Member, you chances are slim to none.
"And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
John 8:32
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 14
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: In the Arms of God
|
|
Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge -
08-07-2010, 01:49 PM
OH, How do I become a true christian?
|
#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
|
|
Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
|
|
Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge -
08-07-2010, 01:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by thetruthhurts
OH, How do I become a true christian?
|
Devote you life to Jesus. Read and follow the laws of God, you can find them in the KJV1611. Tithe, and tithe until it hurts.
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 14
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: In the Arms of God
|
|
Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge -
08-07-2010, 01:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Helge Fossmo
Since you're not a True Christian™ or even a Forum Member, you chances are slim to none.
|
So the fact that I have a wife and a son does not constitute True Heterosexual badge?
|
|
One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers Salvation from Above God's Favorite Pilot™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 6,282
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Flying the Friendly Skies for Jesus!
|
|
Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge -
08-07-2010, 02:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by thetruthhurts
So the fact that I have a wife and a son does not constitute True Heterosexual badge?
|
No.
Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!
God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!
Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 1,590
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Koala Kountry
|
|
Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge -
08-07-2010, 05:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by thetruthhurts
I would like to get this badge, because I love having sexual intercourse with my wife nightly.
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by thetruthhurts
So the fact that I have a wife and a son does not constitute True Heterosexual badge?
|
Are you for real? Women are only fertile 3 days out of 28. So all those other attempts to create little boy soldiers for Christ are an absolute waste. You spill your seed on infertile ground (see Genesis 38:8-10) and God says he will kill you for that.
2 Chronicles 7:14
14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land Australia.
|
#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
|
|
Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
|
|
Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge -
08-07-2010, 05:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Charli
Are you for real? Women are only fertile 3 days out of 28. So all those other attempts to create little boy soldiers for Christ are an absolute waste. You spill your seed on infertile ground (see Genesis 38:8-10) and God says he will kill you for that.
|
SISTER you are in the MEN'S forum again. Do I need to remind you about this, or shall I place a call to your father?
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 1,590
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Koala Kountry
|
|
Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge -
08-07-2010, 05:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt
SISTER you are in the MEN'S forum again. Do I need to remind you about this, or shall I place a call to your father?
|
Oooooooops. Not again.
Just as well the welts on my butt have healed from the last time Daddy found me wandering in here.
It's OK Mr Dewitt. I am always honest with Daddy and will confess and take my punishment.
Yes .... I know .... a willow branch, not a twig!
I praise Jesus that Daddy loves me enough to discipline me.
Proverbs 13:24 (King James Version)
24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
2 Chronicles 7:14
14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land Australia.
|
|
America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,611
Join Date: Jun 2009
|
|
Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge -
08-10-2010, 08:26 PM
Now that we've shooed the lady out of here, let's get back to the basics:
Quote:
Originally Posted by thetruthhurts
So the fact that I have a wife and a son does not constitute True Heterosexual badge?
|
In your first post you said you were banging having nightly intercourse with your wife. And now you tell us you have only one son.
It strikes me you shoot a lot of blanks.
Scientific studies have proven time and time again that a man that can't keep his six gun loaded and shooting the real stuff, has a deeply ingrained revulsion of the target of his affection.
Such men are repressed homers.
And that's why you won't get "True Heterosexual" recognition here.
Now, before you try to get all cute and wonder why I don't have that badge, it's because I have something much better: The "Punched the Most Queers" badge.
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court
"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
|
|
Unsaved trash, gay euro soccer fan
|
|
Posts: 69
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Rehab - becoming Hetrosexual again
|
|
Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge -
08-28-2010, 08:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by HTannor
Now, before you try to get all cute and wonder why I don't have that badge, it's because I have something much better: The "Punched the Most Queers" badge.
|
I have punched more queers than I have had hot dinners - I should have this badge as I feel I have earned it.
|
|
Landover Senior Outreach Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 8,237
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Freehold Senior Estates
|
|
Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge -
08-28-2010, 09:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Colin Cameron
I have punched more queers than I have had hot dinners - I should have this badge as I feel I have earned it.
|
As Unsaved Trash with 49 posts and red reputation, I'd be careful in asking for any badges. You might earn one you don't particularly care for...
Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
|
|
Unsaved trash, gay euro soccer fan
|
|
Posts: 69
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Rehab - becoming Hetrosexual again
|
|
Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge -
08-28-2010, 09:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter
As Unsaved Trash with 49 posts and red reputation, I'd be careful in asking for any badges. You might earn one you don't particularly care for...
|
Ive also stopped masturbatig on a regulart basis too. Perhaps this is another badge I should have.
I dont ask for much, I think a badge would be nice.
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 1,074
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: On my way to Heaven!
|
|
Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge -
08-28-2010, 09:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Colin Cameron
I dont ask for much, I think a badge would be nice.
|
As far as I can see, you've already got two...
"And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
John 8:32
|
|
True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
|
|
Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
|
|
Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge -
08-28-2010, 10:18 PM
No one likes a beggar.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
|
|
True Christian™ Televangelist Director of Fundraising and Tithing On the Look Out for Wife #6!
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 8,727
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge -
08-28-2010, 10:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Colin Cameron
I dont ask for much, I think a badge would be nice.
|
Ask and ye shall receive. I have granted you two badges which I felt were most appropriate for you.
Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.
|
|
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
|
|
Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge -
08-28-2010, 11:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Colin Cameron
I have punched more queers than I have had hot dinners - I should have this badge as I feel I have earned it.
|
I think that being a faggot yourself disaqualifies you.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
|
|
Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 18,554
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
|
|
Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge -
08-29-2010, 12:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Colin Cameron
I have punched more queers than I have had hot dinners - I should have this badge as I feel I have earned it.
|
We are quite aware of what the words "punched" and "hot dinner" mean in gay code friend. Nice try homo but Christ is smarter than that.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
|
|
Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 5,251
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
|
|
Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge -
08-29-2010, 12:45 AM
You ought to be more concerned about getting salvation from JESUS than medals from us.
|
|
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 161
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: AMERICA.
|
|
Re: How do you get the True Heterosexual Badge -
08-29-2010, 03:15 AM
Being a true child of GOD, I've never had the opportunity to lay with womankind; and have, additionally, never spilled my sacred seed upon the foul dirt - in accordance to the judicial statutes of MOSES' judicial laws, and the highly effective and successful Faith-Based conservative abstinence method.
Unfortunately, this leaves me at an impasse, as the Apostle Paul expressly forbade sex, before marriage; and for some irreducibly complex reason, the fervent passion and veracity of my sermon hasn't awarded me the attentions of any womankind...
I fear that, to earn the rites of True Heterosexuality on this BLESSED forum, I'd need to succumb to temptations and inflict my loins upon a female...
Does this make me, not a hetero, but ahetero? By not multiplying children in GOD's name, am I no better than a raping, murdering atheist? Please help!
Is it time to panic?
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|