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Default Dippin dots is NOT the ice cream of the future! - 01-23-2017, 08:11 PM

Many of you may have seen White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer the day after the recent historical, Trumpalicious Inauguration correcting tweets and reports for not using his alternative facts regarding crowd numbers:


(You'll want to go to minute 1:23:45, when Spicer finally shows up.)

I appreciate a man willing to jump right out to the podium in whatever ill-fitting suit a friend backstage tossed at him at the last minute to continue to wage war against the media, free press, and lambasting people who dare abuse freedom of speech in general by failing to flatter the president. I can get behind a man who is so impassioned about offering alternative, more flattering facts, that his face beads up with sweat and he all but stomps his foot to make his point: He's really, really mad. Not just mad, really, really, really mad. And he won't stand for things that make him mad.

Do you know what else makes him mad? This has made him so made he's waged a 5 year war on Twitter to correct other facts: Dippin dots is NOT the ice cream of the future!

Landover Baptist Church, let's stand united behind Press Secretary Sean Spicer and boycott Dippin' Dots! How DARE they claim to be the ice cream of the future! It's not true!


Sean Spicer's dippin dots tweets, fueled by righteous anger:



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Dippin dots is NOT the ice cream of the future! - 01-23-2017, 10:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post

I appreciate a man willing to jump right out to the podium in whatever ill-fitting suit a friend backstage tossed at him at the last minute to continue to wage war against the media, free press, and lambasting people who dare abuse freedom of speech in general by failing to flatter the president. I can get behind a man who is so impassioned about offering alternative, more flattering facts, that his face beads up with sweat and he all but stomps his foot to make his point: He's really, really mad. Not just mad, really, really, really mad. And he won't stand for things that make him mad.

You are so right, dear Sister Mary! It's not our job as Americans to criticize the president, (unless he's a democrat) our job is to build him up so that he has the self-esteem and confidence to make sure that our nation is better than any other country in every possible way.


We need to offer him unqualified support so that he can do his job without having any past qualifications. We need to obey him completely and applaud every one of his decisions and actions. That's how we will show the world how great it is to live in a democracy.


And if any country refuses to recognize our president's greatness, we can start small with a twitter war, then escalate to trade wars and air strikes if necessary. We have all the best drones, so why not?


Regarding ice cream, does anyone know which ice cream companies are owned by Christians? I want to make sure that they have Spicer's approval provided straight from Donald before I buy any.


Lactosilly Yours,
Handmaiden


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Default Re: Dippin dots is NOT the ice cream of the future! - 01-23-2017, 10:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
You are so right, dear Sister Mary! It's not our job as Americans to criticize the president, (unless he's a democrat) our job is to build him up so that he has the self-esteem and confidence to make sure that our nation is better than any other country in every possible way.
Indeed! Anyone can see that once the White House staff no longer have to spend time deflecting negative press, they can get right on with making America Great again!


And no, I don't know any ice cream makers that are Christian. We don't do ice cream in the Etheldreda family. Mr. Etheldreda finds it to be a gateway to homosexuality.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Rebuke Re: Dippin dots is NOT the ice cream of the future! - 01-24-2017, 01:31 AM

Why, I do declare that Brother Spicer is right. Dippin' Dots are the Devil's food! They look like Unicorn turds. What a vile treat. They may be the "future treat" in HELL! I bet they don't even melt.




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