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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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gamer4Christ gamer4Christ is offline
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Lightbulb The Definitive Illustrated Guide to Solving 100% of Problems On the Internet - 02-05-2019, 09:00 PM

After extensive consulting with Indian Tech Gurus, Chinese supercomputer manufactures, Icelandic Bitcoin Billionaires, the inventor of the LOLcat, several A.I.s, Rick Astley, Quantum Computing Physicists, and also Indian Tech experts who are not literal Gurus, we have produced The Definitive Illustrated Guide to Solving 100% of Problems On the Internet.

Step One:



Congratulations, you have just solved 100% of your problems on the internet.

This has been The Definitive Illustrated Guide to Solving 100% of Problems On the Internet.


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Default Re: The Definitive Illustrated Guide to Solving 100% of Problems On the Internet - 02-05-2019, 09:43 PM

I'm very happy for you. Now, tell us, what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus?


Psalm 62:5-7 KJV
My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence;
I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.
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Default Re: The Definitive Illustrated Guide to Solving 100% of Problems On the Internet - 02-06-2019, 10:31 AM

This is the worst introduction I've ever read. Who are you, and why are you trying to impress us with your "clever" humor?


WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Cross Re: The Definitive Illustrated Guide to Solving 100% of Problems On the Internet - 02-06-2019, 12:45 PM

Another loser at a fantasy game.



Why not play ' Christianty', it is the only game when the prize is True Salvation™.
Friend, the last thing you want is Jesus to click your 'X' and send you to Hell's Gamestop.
The Bible is the Book of Cheat Codes that enable you to master all levels of the Game of Life and getting the Golden tacket for admittance to Heaven. Admittedly, it is a tough game, it has billions of levels and only the worthy will make it. Why not be a winner and stop wasting your time with silly games?


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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gamer4Christ gamer4Christ is offline
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Default Re: The Definitive Illustrated Guide to Solving 100% of Problems On the Internet - 02-06-2019, 05:39 PM

Church: Landover Baptist Church, tithing member (see my medal row, it's right beside my, er, purity awards.

Favorite Scripture:

You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that he pwns.

— Exodus 20:17





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Default Re: The Definitive Illustrated Guide to Solving 100% of Problems On the Internet - 02-06-2019, 06:10 PM

GFC, welcome back to the forum. I'm now wondering how long I will have to wait for your next post.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: The Definitive Illustrated Guide to Solving 100% of Problems On the Internet - 02-06-2019, 11:18 PM

Is using the higly outdated Windows Vista the reason your mouse cursor is so ridiculously large? Your PC must have more viruses than your tallywhacker.

I have better advice specifically tailored to you!
  1. Burn your computer, phone, tablet and anything else you use to download child porn from the Internet.
  2. Get yourself a proper King James Bible™.
  3. Study your King James Bible™ until your eyes bleed!
You are welcome!

As an added bonus we will no longer have to suffer through your stupidity.


CANCER is a state of mind! Time to stop ALL healthcare!!!
Follow me on Twitter or burn in Hell for all eternity!

To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: The Definitive Illustrated Guide to Solving 100% of Problems On the Internet - 02-08-2019, 08:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by gamer4Christ View Post

You shall not covet...anything that he pwns.

— Exodus 20:17
I see what you did there.
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