Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Focus on Family - Christian Parenting
Reload this Page What are the best toys?
Focus on Family - Christian Parenting A place where parents can get good Godly advice on how to raise a family: how to properly administer corporal punishment, which movies to avoid, and more!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Jeb Stuart Thurmond's Avatar
Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
 

Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Saved 5 Years Gold Tither Heaven Bound TC Bravery TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Tagging for Jesus Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Hatchet Child Rearing Award Touched by Jesus Alternative Facts Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default What are the best toys? - 12-10-2007, 04:19 AM

This started as a reply to Toys God Hates but I went into a bit of a rant and started on a whole new subject: let's talk about good toys, the type Jesus approves of.

Anyway, I started writing this when I discovered that unsaved trash seem to have infilitrated into LBC Sunday School. My daughter related to me the story of a child who undressed dolls and action figures, which is worrysome by itself, but the child also commented on the lack of anatomy possessed by said dolls and action figures. It's clear this child must have recieved some form of sex education from some source. Someone must have failed to leash their child, and allowed their child to wander into a public school or library. Total lack of discipline. Remember people, when you give your child the belt, you have to use the metal part!

But my story gets worse. Before you read on, I urge you to clear the room of any children, women, people with heart problems and unsaved persons).

*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*

This deviant hellspawn not only undressed the dolls, but also must have pretended to make them, shall we say, interact. I know this because my child recreated the scene in my own home, to my urging. My child did not come up with such degenerate ideas, all channels on the TV other than Fox News are blocked out and I can assure you the only books I have in my house are my ten copies of the Bible, my Soldier of Fortune Magazines, and my Ken Starr Report.

A while ago we had a national campaign to boycott the makers of undressable dolls and action figures, whatever happened to that?

It's unbelievable that the government doesn't do something about this epidemic. I mean, go figure, big brother is so powerful the government can regulate everything about toys (as an enterpreneur I have a long list of horror stories) yet they won't lift a finger to protect America's Children from the scourge of undressable dolls. I mean, I can understand that any child that undresses a doll is probably already destined for hell, and probably were headed irridemably to hell since they were fetuses (in fact, half of all conceptions are killed by God because they are already irredemable sinners at that age), but what if a child accidentally disrobed one? Why, I used to play "Napalm the Vietnamese" with a match and my mother's hairspray, what if I accidentally burned the clothes off one, just like that napalmed kid in that hilarious video they used to show on the news?

I never accidentally undressed any of my sisters dolls (my mother stapled the clothes down very well), of course, because if it did I would have been scarred for life and should have been put out of my misery.

THIS, not airports (allowing guns on planes would clean up that nonsense overnight) not tobacco, or guns and so on and so on is what the government should be regulating.

By the way, when I grew up the first thing I did was make a business selling "Napalm the Vietnamese" sets and the big government banned them. A bunch of libs get all huffy and started claiming that they were a "fire hazard" or something. Nonsense. I played that game and I never set myself on fire.

I tried to design playgrounds to go in fast food restaurants. A bunch of socialists started whining about wah wah wah protuding nails, wah wah wah my kid caught tetnus, well if you have lockjaw why are you still whining, huh? I mean, some kid gets the snuffles and they want to send you to the gillotine.

I tried to make Vlad the Impaler toys (just add chipmunks!) but the government claimed that kids might hurt their eyes with the spikes. I mean, Jesus HIMSELF said you're better off without eyes, because eyes just cause you to commit adultry in your heart. I did those playtester kids a FAVOR. (*I went off on a tangent at this point. It's at the bottom of the post)

So go figure, the omnipotent government has this much totalitarian control over law abiding Christians, yet will it lift a finger to save our children from the epidemic of undressable dolls?

I have come up with a solution: first, we must eliminate dolls, action figures (except for their wonderful little guns) and such toys from sunday school. In fact, because the devil is endlessly creative and can always surprise us with new evils, we should stick with the one toy I have seen playtested over and over with no ill effects.

I'm talking about the English Toys Cherries Frieze Noah's Ark which can be purchased here:



This toy should be considered a badge of entry. We could hire a bully to act as a "bouncer" to keep dolls out, and ensure that every child that enters has remembered to bring an English Toys Cherries Frieze Noah's Ark.

This scale model is accurate down to every detail, every animal God ever created is included in the set: "Animals: Crocodiles, horses, cow & bull, giraffes, dromedaries, polar bears, lion & lioness, hippos, elephants, ducks, seals and Mr & Mrs Noah."

I don't know if they are fireproof, so when my child wants to recreate the burned offerings Noah made after leaving the ark, I just give her an old goldfish or mouse from a mousetrap. God is pleased by the scent of burning meat, it doesn't matter what in particular it comes from.

It's only about $4000 at current exchange rates and anyone who can't spend that on a toy either needs to learn about enterprise and hard work, or pray more so they can find out why God hates them.

UPDATE:

It turns out that the board game "RISK" is a serperb geo-political strategy simulator, so realistic that the Bush administration uses it to make decisions. From "Air Force One: A History of the Presidents and Their Planes" by Kenneth T. Walsh:
Another innovation is Bush's interest in the board game Risk, in which players amass armies and try to conquer the world. En route home from Europe in July 2001, Bush supervised a particularly competitive game. The president encouraged each participant to take the biggest risks possible and to attack each other mercilessly. At one point, he goaded his military aide, supposedly an expert on military maneuvers and strategy, to take some chances. When he did so and found his armies annihilated, Bush teased the aide for being the first to lose...the commander in chief yelled "You're a wimp! Go get 'em."


*The Vlad tangent:

One of my big heros during childhood was a great defender of Christianity, Vlad the Impaler. Although he's a national hero in Romania, not enough children in America have heard about him (thanks a lot public education).

Anyway, good ol' Vlad had perfected the art of the war on poverty long before that socialist Lyndon B Johnson stole the term. He invited all the poor of his kingdom to a feast at an old palace of his. Once they were inside, stuffing their gluttonous faces, he locked the doors and set the place on fire. So, instead of having to use taxpayers money to feed greedy freeloaders, he could spend public money on what it was intended for: killing Muslims. One time he stopped an invading Turkish army with a solid wall of impaled people, tens of thousands of them. His impalers were so skilled they could have the greased spike poke out around the neck of the sinner while they were still alive. That's a very difficult feat, as I learned while experimenting on the neibourhood chipmunks, which brings me back to those childhood memories I was talking about.

Of course, just like George Bush I also enjoyed the ol" firecracker in the bullfrog's mouth gag. Really funny when you combine it with the old "frog in the back of a girl's pants" gag. I mean, it was really hard to run away when you kept having to fall over laughing. Good times.


Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!

Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 01-14-2009 at 11:54 PM.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Mr. Jingles Mr. Jingles is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 574
Join Date: Aug 2007
Mr. Jingles has bribed people to get these reputation points.Mr. Jingles has bribed people to get these reputation points.Mr. Jingles has bribed people to get these reputation points.Mr. Jingles has bribed people to get these reputation points.Mr. Jingles has bribed people to get these reputation points.Mr. Jingles has bribed people to get these reputation points.Mr. Jingles has bribed people to get these reputation points.Mr. Jingles has bribed people to get these reputation points.Mr. Jingles has bribed people to get these reputation points.Mr. Jingles has bribed people to get these reputation points.Mr. Jingles has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: What are the best toys? - 12-10-2007, 08:49 AM

For the boys, how about a 'kill the mooslems' actions set? I still recommend the EZ Bake Oven for the girls, to prepare them for their adult life cooking & being subserviant to their husbands. Toy shoeshine kits & domestic servant dolls would be fine gifts for the nigra children, too...
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Chezund Rice's Avatar
Chezund Rice Chezund Rice is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 78
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Nebraska
Chezund Rice is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Chezund Rice is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Chezund Rice is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: What are the best toys? - 12-13-2007, 03:59 PM

Nothing beats a rifle, for boys or girls.
Now if they're teenagers, a shotgun for the boy and a pistol for the girl.
Caution - if you're filling up their stockings with ammo, make darn sure them stockings are nailed good and proper to the wall; Especially next to the fireplace! It's kinda like that old time tradition of popping corn in the hearth, 'cept you gotta duck behind the sofa.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Pie Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Long service medal, 3rd class 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: What are the best toys? - 12-13-2007, 04:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chezund Rice View Post
Nothing beats a rifle, for boys or girls.
Now if they're teenagers, a shotgun for the boy and a pistol for the girl.
Caution - if you're filling up their stockings with ammo, make darn sure them stockings are nailed good and proper to the wall; Especially next to the fireplace! It's kinda like that old time tradition of popping corn in the hearth, 'cept you gotta duck behind the sofa.
Amen Brother. A gift even HE would love!
Attached Images
 




Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Chezund Rice's Avatar
Chezund Rice Chezund Rice is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 78
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Nebraska
Chezund Rice is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Chezund Rice is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Chezund Rice is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Beaner alert!! - 12-13-2007, 08:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
I hope you're not some beaner trying to infiltrate god's favorite forum.
White Rice, sir!
Don't go for no brown Rice.
We shoot at stray cans in our yard, Mexi & Afri cans.
Ain't no Catholick beaner neither, I'm a hymn signing Methodist.
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Buford T Scoggins's Avatar
Buford T Scoggins Buford T Scoggins is offline
Founder, Operation Rescue, Now in Heaven with Jesus
True Christian™

True Christian™ Parking Lot Tither Christian Love Real American™ Saved 1 Year Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS TC Bravery Mission to Australia Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth

 
Posts: 912
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: In Heaven with Jesus
Buford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: What are the best toys? - 12-25-2007, 12:13 AM

Well, the Left Behind video game Eternal Forces is a good starter. It will teach the kids how to battle the Antichrist. Of course, you'll want to accompany that with a good 12-gauge pump-action shotgun.



http://www.eternalforces.com/

It's great that there is such a wonderful, education game for children. Kids get to kill terrorists, convert Muslims, and stalk abortion clinic doctors. It gives me a warm glow.

YIC,
Buford


yours in Christ,
Brother Buford



The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.
- Rush Limbaugh
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
eliot mayfield's Avatar
eliot mayfield eliot mayfield is offline
God Squad
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 3rd class Tin Tither Ribfest '06 Public Awareness Medal Saved 5 Years Long service medal, 2nd class Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Public Awareness Medal Christian Love Friend of Jesus Tell her once Flat Earth Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award

 
Posts: 9,322
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: rebuking eurotrash commies
eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: What are the best toys? - 06-27-2008, 10:13 AM

A Jesus light switch? Sounds like a good idea, but (at this point women and children should leave the room)
Attached Images
 


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


http://www.shangrala.org/Pictures/Christ%20Michael.jpg
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Buford T Scoggins's Avatar
Buford T Scoggins Buford T Scoggins is offline
Founder, Operation Rescue, Now in Heaven with Jesus
True Christian™

True Christian™ Parking Lot Tither Christian Love Real American™ Saved 1 Year Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS TC Bravery Mission to Australia Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth

 
Posts: 912
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: In Heaven with Jesus
Buford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBuford T Scoggins has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: What are the best toys? - 06-27-2008, 06:41 PM

The positioning of that light switch leaves me a little uneasy - especially when it's in the "up" position.

YIC,
Buford


yours in Christ,
Brother Buford



The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.
- Rush Limbaugh
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Pastor Isaac Peters's Avatar
Pastor Isaac Peters Pastor Isaac Peters is offline
Senior Pastor
Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
Always Biblically correct
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Publisher's Choice True Heterosexual™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Tithing Manager Christian Love Ex-Mary Worshipper Long service medal, 2nd class Senior Pastor Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Ex-liberal True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Outreach preacher True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Anti-sodomy Hands Off Crown of Glory Probing for Jesus Alternative Facts Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: What are the best toys? - 06-27-2008, 06:52 PM

I think I saw that light switch in a Romanist convent when were looking for a location for the Landover Baptist Hell House.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Brother_Percy's Avatar
Brother_Percy Brother_Percy is offline
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member

True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Christian Love Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Parking Lot Tither One Year/1000 posts Saved 5 Years Ex-eurotrash True Republican

 
Posts: 1,335
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Doing God's Work in Europistan
Brother_Percy has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBrother_Percy has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBrother_Percy has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBrother_Percy has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBrother_Percy has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBrother_Percy has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBrother_Percy has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBrother_Percy has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBrother_Percy has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBrother_Percy has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureBrother_Percy has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: What are the best toys? - 06-28-2008, 12:38 AM

When I was a kid I always wanted the board game 'Operation' -

Attachment 5505

However, my parents were too broke to afford it, and bought me a cat instead. -

Attachment 5506

It wasn't quite as good as the real thing, as it only lasted a few weeks, before it started stinking the place out.

Last edited by Brother_Percy; 11-10-2011 at 08:46 AM.
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
Jeb Stuart Thurmond's Avatar
Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
 

Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Saved 5 Years Gold Tither Heaven Bound TC Bravery TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Tagging for Jesus Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Hatchet Child Rearing Award Touched by Jesus Alternative Facts Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: What are the best toys? - 01-14-2009, 11:50 PM

It turns out that the board game "RISK" is a superb geo-political strategy simulator, so realistic that the Bush administration uses it to make decisions. From "Air Force One: A History of the Presidents and Their Planes" by Kenneth T. Walsh:
Another innovation is Bush's interest in the board game Risk, in which players amass armies and try to conquer the world. En route home from Europe in July 2001, Bush supervised a particularly competitive game. The president encouraged each participant to take the biggest risks possible and to attack each other mercilessly. At one point, he goaded his military aide, supposedly an expert on military maneuvers and strategy, to take some chances. When he did so and found his armies annihilated, Bush teased the aide for being the first to lose...the commander in chief yelled "You're a wimp! Go get 'em."




Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!

Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 01-15-2009 at 04:32 AM.
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Trent Harvey, Jr.'s Avatar
Trent Harvey, Jr. Trent Harvey, Jr. is offline
Ex-hero, almost honorably discharged
True Christian™

True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Parking Lot Tither Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Porn Resistant Eats the Most Pork True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 717
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Somebody's couch
Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: What are the best toys? - 01-15-2009, 01:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
It turns out that the board game "RISK" is a serperb geo-political strategy simulator, so realistic that the Bush administration uses it to make decisions. From "Air Force One: A History of the Presidents and Their Planes" by Kenneth T. Walsh:
Another innovation is Bush's interest in the board game Risk, in which players amass armies and try to conquer the world. En route home from Europe in July 2001, Bush supervised a particularly competitive game. The president encouraged each participant to take the biggest risks possible and to attack each other mercilessly. At one point, he goaded his military aide, supposedly an expert on military maneuvers and strategy, to take some chances. When he did so and found his armies annihilated, Bush teased the aide for being the first to lose...the commander in chief yelled "You're a wimp! Go get 'em."
Risk is fine for introverted intellectual types like Bush, but a better geopolitical strategy simulator for the Sarah Palin Century™ would be Hungry Hungry Hippos - with the hippos representing nations and the marbles representing the world's limited natural resources of oil, fresh water, and so on.

Green is the Muslims, Pink is the pinko Europeans, Yellow is the Asians, and Blue is blueblooded True Christians™.


Founder and CEO of Trickle-Down Charities™, LLC.

Current Project: Bedmates For Billionaires: Biblical eldercare straight from King David
Goal:
$500,000 Currently raised: $0.11 DONATE NOW! Yes, we accept Biblecoins!

True Christians™ believe they they exist to serve the Bible-revealed will of God.
False Christians believe the Bible exists to serve their will. GOD IS NOT YOUR YES-MAN!
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
 
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: What are the best toys? - 01-15-2009, 01:05 AM

Firearms. For either gender of any age. Toddlers can start off with Airsoft guns and work up to .22 rifles and pistols by age five.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
Nobar King's Avatar
Nobar King Nobar King is offline
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '07 Christian Love Tin Tither Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian Nerd TC Bravery Ex-liberal Ex-Christ-Killer Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Saved 5 Years Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 20,000 posts Eats the Most Pork True Republican Divorcee Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Grammar Nazi Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: What are the best toys? - 01-15-2009, 02:32 AM

Sometimes the best toys are the ones that kids make themselves. Take the sling, for example. It's just a strip of leather, but with it, children can throw stones at their favorite target and relive the battle of David and Goliath. They can have contests for accuracy or consistency!


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
Billy Ram Billy Ram is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 220
Join Date: Jan 2009
Billy Ram has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Billy Ram has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Billy Ram has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Billy Ram has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Billy Ram has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Billy Ram has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Billy Ram has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Default Re: What are the best toys? - 01-15-2009, 04:24 AM

I think toys are to worldly. My liberal christian parents allowed me to play with Star Wars action figures and this surely sent me down a New Agey path to hell as a lad.I say better safe then sorry.
Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
John Creeser's Avatar
John Creeser John Creeser is offline
Warning: In case of Rapture, this account will be unmanned.
 

Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound True Christian™ Real American™ Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Flat Earth Tell her once Protected by JESUS One Year/1000 posts Bronze Tither Porn Resistant Pro-Life Persecuted Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Eats the Most Pork True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Hotrodder Kirk Cameron Fan Club Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter True Christian Artist Saved 5 Years Long service medal, 3rd class 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mower Stamp of Approval Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Barney BFF of Jesus

 
Posts: 7,220
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freehold, Iowa
John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: What are the best toys? - 01-29-2014, 02:18 PM

So Luke's birthday is approaching and I have been at a loss as to what to get him - until now. Brothers, I have the perfect gift for your sons Patriotic and True Christian™.
Attached Images
 
Reply With Quote
(#17)
Old
Jeb Stuart Thurmond's Avatar
Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
 

Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Saved 5 Years Gold Tither Heaven Bound TC Bravery TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Tagging for Jesus Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Hatchet Child Rearing Award Touched by Jesus Alternative Facts Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: What are the best toys? - 01-29-2014, 02:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond View Post
I used to play "Napalm the Vietnamese" with a match and my mother's hairspray, what if I accidentally burned the clothes off one, just like that napalmed kid in that hilarious video they used to show on the news?
Hey, it turns out EVERYTHING is on youtube! Now a whole new generation will get to enjoy the hilarity. Round up your kids and now the whole family can watch some uppity foreigners say "sianara" to their skin:

"Me so burnie!"


Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!
Reply With Quote
(#18)
Old
see_the_light see_the_light is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus True Christian Caucasian Nuts for JESUS! One Year/1000 posts

 
Posts: 1,387
Join Date: Nov 2006
see_the_light has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturesee_the_light has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturesee_the_light has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturesee_the_light has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturesee_the_light has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturesee_the_light has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturesee_the_light has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturesee_the_light has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturesee_the_light has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturesee_the_light has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturesee_the_light has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: What are the best toys? - 01-29-2014, 08:42 PM

I know what every christian child should get!

New 9mm RIP Ammo (G2 Research)


They call it the R.I.P. round and with good reason. G2 Research has released a new ammo that is taking the market by storm and has gun owners all over the country trying to find where to pick some up.

As of now, the company is only releasing specifications for their 9mm round and they go a lil’ something like this:

* 16″ Penetration
* Up to 6″ diameter spread
* 96 gr projectile
* 2″ grouping at 25 yrds
* 1265 FPS / 490 Muzzle Energy
* 9 Separate Wound Channels
* Precision Machined
* Solid Copper / Lead Free
* Defeats all known barriers such as sheet metal, sheet rock, windshields, plywood, heavy winter clothing


It's the perfect homer-stopper for a (otherwise) defenseless child.


http://www.liveleak.com/ll_embed?f=f6b4ec067cfc

PRAISE THE LORD!
Reply With Quote
(#19)
Old
Jack O'fagan's Avatar
Jack O'fagan Jack O'fagan is offline
With faith as immovable as the Earth
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Porn Resistant True Christian™ Flat Earth Tell her once Ex-Masturbator Heaven Bound Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Scientist™ Ex-Brit True Republican Ex-eurotrash Eats the Most Pork 3rd Year Bible College Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior Hands Off

 
Posts: 4,779
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Body in England but HEART IN FREEHOLD!
Jack O'fagan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jack O'fagan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jack O'fagan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jack O'fagan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jack O'fagan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jack O'fagan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jack O'fagan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jack O'fagan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jack O'fagan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jack O'fagan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jack O'fagan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: What are the best toys? - 01-30-2014, 05:59 AM

Matthew 18:3 And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shalth not enter into the kingdom of heaven. 4Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven .

And so the Lord said.

Women are funny little things aren't they? My wife still plays with her old toys even at the age of 45. Only yesterday I overheard her talking to her friend about her toy rabbit and she thanked God that she had it and she just couldn't see how she could get through without it. She said it gave her 'What Jack never could'. Some childish need I suppose. I must confess that I have never seen the fluffy little creature.

To be honest I'm surprised she finds the time to play with it. She seems to spend half her life these days locked in the bathroom with her electric toothbrush. It's becoming an obsession with her. She is British so maybe she is just keen to keep he what remains of her teeth. Well, if it keeps her happy.

YIC

Jack


Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.



I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
Reply With Quote
(#20)
Old
see_the_light see_the_light is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus True Christian Caucasian Nuts for JESUS! One Year/1000 posts

 
Posts: 1,387
Join Date: Nov 2006
see_the_light has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturesee_the_light has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturesee_the_light has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturesee_the_light has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturesee_the_light has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturesee_the_light has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturesee_the_light has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturesee_the_light has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturesee_the_light has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturesee_the_light has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturesee_the_light has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: What are the best toys? - 01-30-2014, 10:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack O'fagan View Post
Matthew 18:3 And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shalth not enter into the kingdom of heaven. 4Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven .

And so the Lord said.

Women are funny little things aren't they? My wife still plays with her old toys even at the age of 45. Only yesterday I overheard her talking to her friend about her toy rabbit and she thanked God that she had it and she just couldn't see how she could get through without it. She said it gave her 'What Jack never could'. Some childish need I suppose. I must confess that I have never seen the fluffy little creature.

To be honest I'm surprised she finds the time to play with it. She seems to spend half her life these days locked in the bathroom with her electric toothbrush. It's becoming an obsession with her. She is British so maybe she is just keen to keep he what remains of her teeth. Well, if it keeps her happy.

YIC

Jack
Women are hysterical...

PRAISE THE LORD!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
christmas, gift, parenting, toys

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved