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Default I was arrested for beating heathens again - 06-23-2013, 06:10 PM
I was outside an abortion clinic in Des Moines preaching The Word and beating every whore who walked out of the place with the three foot wooden Cross that I carry around. Well the next thing that I know is that I was being tackled to the ground and arrested for assault. I don't really know anybody here in Iowa. Can anyone recommend a good lawyer? Preferably a lawyer who is a member of Landover Baptist. Thank you and God bless.
YiC,
John

Psalm 107
1 O give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever.
2 Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy;
3 And gathered them out of the lands, from the east, and from the west, from the north, and from the south.
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Default Re: I was arrested for beating heathens again - 06-23-2013, 11:36 PM
Can anybody help me?

Psalm 107
1 O give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever.
2 Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy;
3 And gathered them out of the lands, from the east, and from the west, from the north, and from the south.
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One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I was arrested for beating heathens again - 06-23-2013, 11:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by YoungWhiteChristian View Post
Can anybody help me?
Sorry, but Landover Baptist Church only provides legal counsel for Platinum Tithers and up.

Good luck to you, son.

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: I was arrested for beating heathens again - 06-24-2013, 12:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Sorry, but Landover Baptist Church only provides legal counsel for Platinum Tithers and up.

Good luck to you, son.
It is quite alright Pastor. Jesus is going to be my legal counsel and with him on my side I can not lose.

Psalm 107
1 O give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever.
2 Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy;
3 And gathered them out of the lands, from the east, and from the west, from the north, and from the south.
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Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: I was arrested for beating heathens again - 06-24-2013, 02:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by YoungWhiteChristian View Post
Jesus is going to be my legal counsel and with him on my side I can not lose.
After "he" has finished being you legal council remember to be careful when you drop the soap while taking a shower in your new accommodation.

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One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I was arrested for beating heathens again - 06-24-2013, 03:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo Freddie View Post
After "he" has finished being you legal council remember to be careful when you drop the soap while taking a shower in your new accommodation.
Shut your filthy yap, noodle-head! God will not be mocked!

Quote:
Jude 1:17 But, beloved, remember ye the words which were spoken before of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ;
1:18 How that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts.
1:19 These be they who separate themselves, sensual, having not the Spirit.

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: I was arrested for beating heathens again - 06-24-2013, 03:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Shut your filthy yap, noodle-head! God will not be mocked!
I am not mocking God , I am mocking someone you is using his imaginary friend as Legal counsel!

Posted via Pasta

True Pastafarian™

May my Sauce be with you!
Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
Get one and get with The Flying Spaghetti Monster
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I have been to The Volcano!

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Default Re: I was arrested for beating heathens again - 06-24-2013, 05:00 PM
YoungWhiteChristian, be aware of that this are tests put in front of us by the Lord almighty. Never give up and remember that our saviour Jesus is the best lawyer anyone on earth could wish for. Just pray to the Lord and you will be beating those filthy, moslem, abortionist whores again in no time.

Stay strong in the faith, stay strong in Christ, my brother.
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Default Re: I was arrested for beating heathens again - 06-24-2013, 08:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by YoungWhiteChristian View Post
I was outside an abortion clinic in Des Moines preaching The Word and beating every whore who walked out of the place with the three foot wooden Cross that I carry around. Well the next thing that I know is that I was being tackled to the ground and arrested for assault. I don't really know anybody here in Iowa. Can anyone recommend a good lawyer? Preferably a lawyer who is a member of Landover Baptist. Thank you and God bless.
YiC,
John
Psalms 31:18
Do you have proof?
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Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: I was arrested for beating heathens again - 06-24-2013, 08:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by RepentingJew View Post
Psalms 31:18
Do you have proof?
Are you insinuating that someone who claims to be a Christian in an online forum would voice an untruth? I am, quite frankly, aghast.

pssst: Pastor Zeke's already dealt with the situation hint hint

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