[Ezekiel Bathfire]

I was sitting in front of the fireplace wondering what Eskimos did for wood, and just about to remark to myself that, with the Cross, it was good that Jesus wasn't born an Eskimo, when Mrs Bathfire came in from another shopping expedition.

“Ezekiel!” she exclaimed (and you can tell that she exclaimed by that exclamation mark I put there) “Ezekiel!” She often says my name twice – I suspect that she thinks that I don’t listen the first time. I do, but I find the name unremarkable, I have known it for more years than I care to remember and perhaps, to her, I give little sign of response. This is because I know when I am called that I will have to do something ‘worldly’, thus, to me, Mrs Bathfire has become “The Employment Opportunity Executive” with her “I have a job for you.” and my name has become an introduction to being deprived of the solace of thinking about God.

“Ezekiel!” she repeated, “are you listening?” Now I don’t know about you, but I find it impossible to “not listen.”The Lord commands women to listen to men, but they don’t seem to do this but I can’t help listening to them. Perhaps, heaven will be a ‘men only sort of place, or at least have a ‘men only’ cloud – heaven is supposed to be a place of rest, isn’t it?

“We drove past the Caperham’s place and I got to wondering how Martha was doing, so I said to Boy, “Turn around and go to Martha’s.” (I glanced past her to see Boy, my faithful retainer and chauffeur, rolling his eyes. Now this is insolence but such was my sympathy, I let it pass) “and when we arrived, the door was open.

I called Boy to go in first in case there were ‘perpetrators’ [Mrs. Bathfire pronounced this most carefully, as it seems to be a word she has learned from watching murder dramas.] I followed and saw Manuel, the Caperham’s young gardener/pool cleaner, lying sleeping on the couch… with his … his…”

I looked at Boy for inspiration, “His pants were down to his ankles and you could see his huge …”

“Yes, I think I have the idea, Boy.” I nodded at Mrs Bathfire and she continued a little abashed.

“… so I went up to him and shook him. He shouted out “Not again Martha! I am paralyzed!”

I could see poor Manuel was delirious, sweat was pouring from him and, of course, Martha was nowhere to be seen.” (I raised my eyes at Boy, and Boy raised his.)

“And?” I asked.

“And you are going to go round there and say prayers at him!”

“Why?” I asked. I was genuinely puzzled.

“You are a Pastor and you do that sort of thing. God will help him recover from his paralysis and fever. And be careful. I am sure I heard someone else in the house, even though Boy said he didn’t.” (At this point, Boy was nodding urgently and mouthing "Martha!")

I tried to put her off. “Well, I don’t want to come between a man and his gardener, perhaps Harry Caperham should do it… you know, he’s probably spiritually closer...”

“I thought you’d say that Ezekiel! Harry was at his business but I’ve already called him round here. You can go together.”

The bell rang. “Boy, get that will you? It’ll be Harry.” I looked at Mrs Bathfire but there was no gainsaying the woman.

“Harry! How are you?” I put some effort into appearing cheerful.

Harry nodded at Mrs Bathfire and muttered a greeting, “Mrs. Bathfire…” then looked at me. “So, from what I gather, Manuel, or whatever his name is, has some sort of fever…”

“And paralyzed, Mr Caperham.” Added Mrs B. (“Women always add details that aren’t needed.” I thought but said nothing.)

“Paralyzed? Mrs Bathfire? You said, “Paralyzed”?”

“Yes. Paralyzed, you know, 'the palsy'. He told me himself… I… er… we… er… Boy put a sheet over him for decency.”

“A sheet? Is he dead?”

I saw what was coming so added, “To keep him warm, Harry, you know, er… ill people and all… and… He’s alive OK.”

Harry looked from me to Mrs B and back again, “So why wasn’t an ambulance called?” I admit that I was lost here, but Mrs Bathfire saved me: “I decided that Ezekiel and you could go pray at him… It’s altogether more fitting in Landover – those sirens always upset me.”

To my surprise, Harry came back with “No need Mrs Bathfire, you women don’t see things as we men do. The Lord sees all and is everywhere, our prayers will reach Him as His Blessings will reach Manuel no matter where any of us are. No need to inconvenience Ezekiel, he must have more important things to do.” He smiled at me and I led Harry off to the prayer closet, leaving Mrs Bathfire a little disappointed.

I still had reservations. I paused before the door. Now the last thing I wanted was for Harry to put the same two and two together that Boy had and I had – we had had enough trouble when he shot his last wife – so I tried to find out how he was thinking and said, “Look Harry do you believe…” But that’s as far as I got. Harry was agitated,

“Of course I believe! Who doesn’t? Come on Ezekiel! Let’s get praying. With His Grace we may see His Works ourselves!”

So we prayed and, at the end, I said, “OK, you can go home now. It will be done just as you believed it would."

Of course, Harry went off and about 10 minutes later he called back. “Bathfire! It worked! The prayer worked! Manuel is fine! He was cleaning the pool when I arrived! He has no recollection of Mrs Bathfire or Boy, and Martha sends her thanks to The Lord and you! She says she was giving the cat worming tablets and saw and heard nothing! But for you I would have been seeing that guy who supplies the ethnic labor. See that, Bathfire! The Lord even saved a catlick Messicant! He is indeed good and kind and merciful. Your words reached heaven. You can be assured of a large contribution on Sunday…”

He went on a bit after that but didn’t say much of significance until I heard, “… you are exalted amongst men, Bathfire. Is this not a miracle? Our Savior Himself did similar work as recorded in the Gospel of Matthew:
M't:8:5: And when Jesus was entered into Capernaum, there came unto him a centurion, beseeching him,
M't:8:6: And saying, Lord, my servant lieth at home sick of the palsy, grievously tormented.
M't:8:7: And Jesus saith unto him, I will come and heal him.
M't:8:8: The centurion answered and said, Lord, I am not worthy that thou shouldest come under my roof: but speak the word only, and my servant shall be healed.
M't:8:9: For I am a man under authority, having soldiers under me: and I say to this man, Go, and he goeth; and to another, Come, and he cometh; and to my servant, Do this, and he doeth it.
M't:8:10: When Jesus heard it, he marvelled, and said to them that followed, Verily I say unto you, I have not found so great faith, no, not in Israel.
M't:8:11: And I say unto you, That many shall come from the east and west, and shall sit down with Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, in the kingdom of heaven.
M't:8:12: But the children of the kingdom shall be cast out into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
M't:8:13: And Jesus said unto the centurion, Go thy way; and as thou hast believed, so be it done unto thee. And his servant was healed in the selfsame hour.

When he had hung up, I considered this case: the only miracle was that Harry hadn’t realized what had happened. On top of that:
1: A centurion came to Jesus. Harry is not a centurion, he only has 92 staff.
2: Mrs Bathfire told Harry about Manuel, the centurion found out himself.
3. Harry did not come from his house, he came from his office.
4. Unlike the centurion, Harry owns the business and is not “under authority.”
5. As far as I remember, Manuel doesn’t do as Harry says all of the time.

No, indeed miracles are the province of The Lord, anything that we do is small potatoes.

[Faith_Machine]

A truly inspired story, brother Bathfire! Say, speaking of your wife, did you receive the ear plugs I sent you?

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

A most interesting story, Brother, though I don't quite understand how the young man got paralyzed in the first place. I guess he must have fallen into the empty pool.

I hope Mr Caperham will rebuke both his wife and the young Messicant, because it is really not right for any of the staff to be calling Mrs Caperham by her first name.

[Faith_Machine]

Brother Bathfire, I am eager to hear how Manuel does over the next several days. If you find him in such a state again, do be sure to take photos.