The Freehold Truth and Light Baptist newspaper Featured editorials, letters to the GODLY Pastors of Landover, local news, advise columns. |
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,118
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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A Request from your Mayor -
12-23-2010, 01:51 PM
A Request for Moral Snow Sculptures
A most Merry Christmas to the wonderful citizens of Freehold. At this time of the year, our City is beautiful. Christmas lights are everywhere and the celebration of the birth of Christ is nearly here.
I have a little request I hope will seem reasonable to all of you. It concerns what I will call "Snow Sculpture", but, really is about snowmen.
As you all know, the traditional thing to do with snow is roll three balls, stack them up, put the coal eyes, stick on a carrot nose on and you have a snowman. Its been done that way forever. It is my hope that all snow scultures be some small variations of this snowman.
What concerns me is that either children, or, adults "helping" children have begun to be what I will call politely, "creative". I have seen some "snowmen" which are obviously snow women. These sculptures have body parts that embarass many of us to look at.
I even saw a snow man on Devine Street that has a human part that could only be call pornographic.
I want all our citizens to enjoy this winter season. My only request is that we all cooperate to make what is seen on our front lawns a credit to our City and to celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ.
A very Blessed Christmas to each and everyone of you.
Johny Joe Hold, Mayor
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: A Request from your Mayor -
12-23-2010, 01:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold
I even saw a snow man on Devine Street that has a human part that could only be call pornographic.
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Mayor Johny Joe, do you mean that snowMan whose arm had become broken off so that it looked like a sinful cripple?
Nauseating
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Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team The Most Honest Lawyer in America
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,471
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: God's Good Side!
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Re: A Request from your Mayor -
12-23-2010, 03:03 PM
WARNING: GRAPHIC DEPICTION OF SNOW YOU-KNOW-WHAT BELOW.
Let's not forget to step up the patrols at night, Mayor. We can't have a repeat of last year's debacle when I went to the darky side of town to drop off some legal papers for an Ex-Negroe client of mine and when I came out 6 minutes later, I found a graphic scene had been built on my car by the negroid children in the neighborhood:
They did this almost as fast as the had my car up on blocks the year before!
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Director of European Evangelical Outreach A Shining Example of Christ's Love Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,677
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A frictional country
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Re: A Request from your Mayor -
12-23-2010, 03:06 PM
I'm glad my JesOS firewall blocked the picture, Brother Gabe.
Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: A Request from your Mayor -
12-23-2010, 03:44 PM
I was seriously touched by the fellow earlier this year who decided to build a snow-white tribute to Bobby Joe and the boys of the security detail:
A beautiful tribute to the boys who defend Freehold from Satan's dark forces - and that's snow lie!
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team The Most Honest Lawyer in America
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,471
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: God's Good Side!
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Re: A Request from your Mayor -
12-23-2010, 04:51 PM
That reminds me...we should kick-start a youth snowman building contest! Remember a few years ago when we dropped some of them off to do some street preaching in the slum parts of that bastion of heathenhood that is Des Moines, IA? We gave them signs like "God Hates Fags" and "I'll Be Dead Soon...Shout Glory!" etc. They came and found us at the restaurant later saying they were cold and hungry that they had left a snowman to spread the word of God to the people instead? So precious:
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: A Request from your Mayor -
12-23-2010, 05:00 PM
I prefer using snowmen for target practice:
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
Last edited by Cranky Old Man; 12-23-2010 at 06:58 PM.
Reason: Typo
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#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
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Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
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Re: A Request from your Mayor -
12-23-2010, 06:18 PM
Some of your work Cranky?
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True Christian™ Officer of THE Law
True Christian™
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Posts: 490
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Freehold Iowa, God's Favorite City!
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Re: A Request from your Mayor -
12-23-2010, 07:18 PM
For any troublemakers reading this, be warned that you will be held liable for any obscene or lewd snow sculptures you create and fined accordingly.
The FPD will treat any naked snowpersons as though they were real people parading around in the snow without clothing, but you will be the one footing the bill.
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America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,611
Join Date: Jun 2009
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Re: A Request from your Mayor -
12-23-2010, 09:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ofc. Don W. Richards
For any troublemakers reading this, be warned that you will be held liable for any obscene or lewd snow sculptures you create and fined accordingly.
The FPD will treat any naked snowpersons as though they were real people parading around in the snow without clothing, but you will be the one footing the bill.
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A timely warning, Ofc. Don.
I would appreciate it if you would modify your admonishment to include that all such cases will be brought to my court.
A careful search in my law library found this case: State v Clark Griswold, 1990, 1st District.
Griswold was found guilty of vilus tastus yuckus and was sentenced to yellow snow patrol for the rest of the winter. A very harsh sentence that I will gladly emulate.
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court
"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,118
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: A Request from your Mayor -
12-23-2010, 11:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ofc. Don W. Richards
For any troublemakers reading this, be warned that you will be held liable for any obscene or lewd snow sculptures you create and fined accordingly.
The FPD will treat any naked snowpersons as though they were real people parading around in the snow without clothing, but you will be the one footing the bill.
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Thank you for stepping forward to help with this, Ofc. Richards.
I just received a call from Mrs. Bjornson at 1325 Trinity. She says there is a "snowman" across the street from her that, so she says, has an arm extended forward with one finger pointed upwards. She said also that a child from the neigborhood stopped in and laughed about the snowman.
She could not remember exactly what the child said, but she recalls that it was something like, "It's giving us the birdy".
I have no idea what that means, or, if the sculpture falls under the category of porn, but I'd appreciate it if you would swing by there and take a look.
JJH
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 353
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Waiting for Jesus
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Re: A Request from your Mayor -
12-25-2010, 12:29 AM
I'm a little concerned about this snowman I spotted across the street from the Freehold Post Office.
It was a snow man Jesus (at least he was depicted as a white Caucasian) on the cross.
I'm not sure if this was made with the intent to praise Jesus, or to blaspheme him.
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
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Re: A Request from your Mayor -
12-25-2010, 02:32 AM
Well, the Hebraics are having their fun, it appears.
This one is grossly nude, has a Menorah on it, and is sticking it's tongue out at us in defiance!!
Please remove it from Butterfield Park immediately.
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#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
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Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
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Re: A Request from your Mayor -
12-26-2010, 02:13 AM
You think you have problems. I went down to the beach this morning to enjoy the morning sun, what do I find, a perverted sand pornograghie. Now I have to do two things, 1 install security cameras, 2 Get Sister Lycia to come out of her room, the poor girl ran from the beach crying.
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,118
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: A Request from your Mayor -
12-26-2010, 04:15 AM
There seem to be a large number of unemployed atheist artists these days.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Ex-prostitute on her knees for the Lord Now that she's Saved©, Priceless
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,017
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Wherever Jesus takes me
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Re: A Request from your Mayor -
12-26-2010, 11:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt
You think you have problems. I went down to the beach this morning to enjoy the morning sun, what do I find, a perverted sand pornograghie. Now I have to do two things, 1 install security cameras, 2 Get Sister Lycia to come out of her room, the poor girl ran from the beach crying.
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Brother James, that one was particularly horrible, but did you see some of the other sand sculptures? They were just as bad!
It was more than my poor heart could take!
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#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
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Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
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Re: A Request from your Mayor -
12-26-2010, 01:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant
Brother James, that one was particularly horrible, but did you see some of the other sand sculptures? They were just as bad!
It was more than my poor heart could take!
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Dont you worry sweetness Sister, Uncle James is on it. Monday morning I have a crew comming in to intall a few things so that that will never happen again. I did not want to tell you what happened in the afternoon, I snapped this picture. The woman is clearley a slut(And not the good kind like you)
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