[Las Vegas Larry]

Hi Friends!!

I'm thinking of getting out of Vegas for a while and thought I would look into Freehold so I called your chamber of commerce today from a payphone. I can't figure out what you guys do for fun??

Sure, I can handle the church stuff every Sunday. It must be fun checking out the hotties in the pews and Larry's always up for that! And I'm sure we can get a poker game going in the church gym after services once we send all the broads home.

But what about the rest of the week?? It's a dry county and looks like you would have to drive an hour just to have a beer. There's no adult bookstores, cardrooms, strip clubs, massage parlors, horse racing, etc.. I wasn't expecting casinos and legal prostitution, but I don't see any outlets for the daily stress of life...

Do you at least have a cock fight every so often?

Thank You.

[Bobby-Joe]

We have Jeopardy on the jumbotron in the Church's community hall every weeknight, except for Wednesday and Friday service.

I suppose the nearest thing to what you want is Friday night "Smokers" were Brother Montague brings in various homeless people from the Des Moise Landover Out Reach Mission for armature bare knuckle fights. One of his philanthropic programs giving bums work in sports contests.

[Las Vegas Larry]

So you have a Sports Book and we can bet on the bum we think will win? It's a start I guess...

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by Las Vegas Larry

Hi Friends!!

I'm thinking of getting out of Vegas for a while and thought I would look into Freehold so I called your chamber of commerce today from a payphone. I can't figure out what you guys do for fun??

, but I don't see any outlets for the daily stress of life...

Daily stress?? What is that?? See, Larry, stress is caused by the very sin that you are seeking. We do not have stress because we do not have sin.

We would enjoy having you visit Freehold to see for yourself how stress free it is to live the True Christian™ life.

[Jo Freddie]

Originally Posted by Las Vegas Larry

It's a dry county and looks like you would have to drive an hour just to have a beer.

Is it?
Mmmmm My plans to open a restaurant in Freehold could be hampered if this is the case, or is it permitted to serve "grog" with the meals?

[Nobar King]

There are no skate parks in Freehold, so don't bother to pack your deck. Maybe you can ride your bike to Church?

[Las Vegas Larry]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

Daily stress?? What is that?? See, Larry, stress is caused by the very sin that you are seeking. We do not have stress because we do not have sin.

We would enjoy having you visit Freehold to see for yourself how stress free it is to live the True Christian™ life.

Doesn't sound so "stress free" for the women and fetuses you beat, homosexuals you stone, witches you burn, etc..

Those poor people should come to Vegas!! We have no hate like you!!!

Everyone's welcome and whatever happens, it stays here!!

Thank you!

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

The town elite and I like to relax after a long, stressful Sunday service by lounging in the Song of Solomon Gentlemen's Club (corner of Baker and Sixth). There's a little joke going around that it's a "second office" to me. If you can't find me at the church itself, I'm here. It's a nice place to unwind with good friends, 30 year old Scotch, and a couple of Cubans. The waitresses and showgirls are also delightful and alluring. It's a tasteful venue for the discerning gentleman.

Which is why you have no chance of getting in, so don't even bother.

[Bob4God]

You mustn't forget that Freehold is also the home of FREEHOLD FIREARMS and the God Guns 'n Guts Hunting Club!

There's nothing to make you feel more manly than shooting animals!