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Default LBC to Sterilize Demon-Posessed Infants - 04-25-2008, 12:49 PM

Church to Sterilize Demon-Possessed Infants!

Annual Spring Bible Crawl

Freehold, Iowa - "The first thing we do," Landover Pastor, Deacon Fred explains, "is put a Bible on the ground. If the baby crawls away from the Bible, it immediately becomes a candidate for sterilization." The possessed child is then placed in a crib with a full grown adult swine to see if the demon will hitch a ride (Mark 5: 11-13). "We then take the pig to Landover Lake and see if it drowns itself in accordance with scripture," Deacon Fred says. "If the pig drowns, the child may stay with its parents. If the pig does not kill itself, then the malformed offspring is shipped off to the Landover Home for the Demonically Possessed in North Dakota. It can sometimes take 20 years until it is safe to return the little "demon hotel" to its mother -- but that gives her plenty of time to explain what a demon was doing in her womb in the first place.

Cross-eyed children and infants with unusually large ears will not participate in the Spring Bible Crawl but will instead be subject to automatic sterilization. It is widely accepted among True Christians™ that physical deformities are the outward manifestation of lewd demonic activity within the womb. The Bible tells us that physical deformity is a direct result of a demon or demon(s) chewing on the fetus or pulling on the fetus' ears during the early months of pregnancy.

Spring sterilization and the Bible Crawl have been a Christian tradition at Landover Baptist Church for nearly 57 years. A church spokesman explains, "Sterilization is a method by which we, as Godly, Bible-believing, Patrimonial Baptist Christians assure ourselves and our God that our descendants will be clear-headed, straight, agreeable, dependable human beings." Unfortunate parishioners who birth demon oppressed children, gladly bring the child forward for sterilization. Landover member, Mrs. Ida Jenkins, recalls, "I remember when the doctor told me that Satan stole my baby's sight. Little Henry was born blind. We made sure the Devil didn't get the last laugh on my Henry. We had him sterilized two hours after he popped out!" Mrs. Jenkins was eager to stop the Devil's handiwork as soon as possible. "We didn't even wait until Spring! Satan had his red tail wrapped around my boy's head so tight, the annual Bible Crawl was out of the question!"

"We take an awful lot of flack from the secular world for living our lives according to scripture." Pastor Deacon Fred remarks. "The secular world calls demon-possessed people, 'handicapped' or 'special.' I tell you, there's nothing 'special' about demon possession. Jesus didn't call them 'special' or refer to them as 'crippled' or 'handicapped.' He knew they were demon possessed! Why else would they become normal human beings as soon as He cast the Devil out of them?"

Landover Baptist Church isn't in the habit of casting out demons. "That's the Lord's job." Pastor Deacon Fred says. "We can however, prevent the devil from playing 'Joker's Wild' with the family tree. The best way to do that is through infantile sterilization. Praise God!"


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: LBC to Sterilize Demon-Posessed Infants - 04-29-2008, 01:09 AM

Pastor, I can't wait for this glorious event!

What would happen to an infant that not only crawled away from the Bible, but also crawled toward, say, a copy of Grand Theft Auto IV?


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Default Re: LBC to Sterilize Demon-Posessed Infants - 05-15-2008, 06:28 AM

You are sick and twisted pyschos, disability is a biological event and states nothing about a person's character. Disabled people have as much right to have children as anyone else. I was born with Cerebral Palsy, it was caused by my prem birth, not piffleing demons. What you are doing is something known as eugenics, the Nazis did it to. Maybe you should compare notes......
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Default Re: LBC to Sterilize Demon-Posessed Infants - 05-15-2008, 06:32 AM

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Originally Posted by Totus Tuus Mater View Post
You are sick and twisted pyschos, disability is a biological event and states nothing about a person's character. Disabled people have as much right to have children as anyone else. I was born with Cerebral Palsy, it was caused by my prem birth, not piffleing demons. What you are doing is something known as eugenics, the Nazis did it to. Maybe you should compare notes......
There's no eugenics going on here. Never once have we named a child Eugene!

All we wish to do is purify the gene pool of half-breeds. Children who are part demon should not be allowed to live, as they are already condemned to eternal hellfire and will only try to bring others with them.

How can you be so heartless and vicious?


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Default Re: LBC to Sterilize Demon-Posessed Infants - 05-15-2008, 12:12 PM

Supernatural selection! Bravo.
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Default Re: LBC to Sterilize Demon-Posessed Infants - 05-15-2008, 02:36 PM

Shout Praise! This Biblically-correct procedure should be carried out everywhere, as it is well known that all illnesses and birth defects are caused by DEMONS:



SICKNESS: WHY ARE WE SICK?


1. Because of sins of the fathers, iniquities and our own sins.

2. As we understand more about demons we know that sickness and disease is caused by demons. When we have a sickness or disease we do DELIVERANCE on it. We then pray for healing and a miracle.

3. If we have done the above and there is no manifestation of healing, then we go to the doctor.

4. However, when we first started DELIVERANCE we know that the demons try us to see if we believe, are serious, and to try to make us give up and not understand our authority in the Name of JESUS. When we are just dealing with demons of rejection, fear, etc., we don't necessarily have a manifestation immediately but it seems to be easier to believe that the demons are gone. With sickness we believe that we must have a manifestation or we are not healed.

5. To be successful with healings we must keep on with the DELIVERANCE and maybe even fast. (This kind goes out by prayer and fasting.) The demons are trying us and we are not being overcomers because of the physical realm that we are dealing with instead of just the spiritual.

6. For example, we cast out fear. Then the next day we are not afraid. But if the demons come back we just cast it out again. It is just easier to believe. But with the physical we need more faith and patience. I believe we can be overcomers in this area when we fast and pray and cast out the demons. Maybe this is the KIND that comes out by prayer and fasting.

7. We have also learned that some of the things we eat can make us sick. For example: too much sugar, fat, etc. can harm our body and cause sickness or disease. We know that we do not get enough vitamins, minerals and nutrients in the food we eat today, so we take supplements which can help to keep us healthy. Don't forget to exercise.





Mark 16:17 And these attesting signs will accompany those who believe: in My Name they will drive out demons.

1 Kings 21:14 Then they sent to Jezebel, saying, Naboth is stoned . . .

A SPIRITUAL WARFARE PRAYER:
Father, In Jesus' Name, I take the Blood of Jesus and break the power of all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, sorcerers, wiccans, pagans, and any other source, and all of their rituals off of us. With the Blood of Jesus, I erase all evil lines drawn on our liver. . .

LANDOVER BAPTIST DEMON HUNTING PERMIT #00666-27





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Default Re: LBC to Sterilize Demon-Posessed Infants - 05-15-2008, 02:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Totus Tuus Mater View Post
You are sick and twisted pyschos, disability is a biological event and states nothing about a person's character. Disabled people have as much right to have children as anyone else. I was born with Cerebral Palsy, it was caused by my prem birth, not piffleing demons. What you are doing is something known as eugenics, the Nazis did it to. Maybe you should compare notes......
Son,

If you were born with cerebal palsy, then I can confirm that you are not demon possessed. That's the good news. The bad news is it's worse than that - You are part-Devil!

Please read THIS post and THIS graph for the origins of cerebal palsy retards, and where these different kinds of spastics come from.

I hope this helps,

Rev RG Green
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Default Re: LBC to Sterilize Demon-Posessed Infants - 05-15-2008, 03:10 PM

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Originally Posted by Justina Thyme View Post
Shout Praise! This Biblically-correct procedure should be carried out everywhere, as it is well known that all illnesses and birth defects are caused by DEMONS:

Sister Justina,

You probably missed it, but this animal just admitted to being a 'cerebal palsy' retard.

Unfortunately, this means he was BORN part-devil, and of nephilim bloodline. We were discussing this just the other day. He is a child of a devil - I would guess one of his parents was an succubus or incubus, and he was conceived during a filthy menstration. These creatures are disgusting!

I'm afraid there is no cure for him, and even if there was - there would be no point in wasting our time over someone as worthless as him. Do not let it trouble you, my dear. Just think of him as a lost cause.

For those who don't know Bible theology on Demons, Devils and Nephilim - because Totus here was born part demon - he has no soul. When he dies, his retard-spirit will leave his body and become a demon. This is how demons are created, they are the spirits of dead retards / nephilim. Nephilim are the offspring of Devils, indentifiable by their deformities. The Bible teaches us this.

That is why when people are possessed by these entities, they begin to exhibit 'signs' of retardation, such as epilepsy, fitting, mental illness, ADHD, learning difficulties, schizophrenia, bi-polar disorder. Because it is a sign that they are under the influence of the demon / retarded spirit within.

Rev RG Green
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Default Re: LBC to Sterilize Demon-Posessed Infants - 05-15-2008, 03:49 PM

Thank you, Reverend Green. I humbly stand corrected. It's just that sometimes I can feel such fire and zeal in my crusade against these unfortunate, twisted creatures that I, being a female, get a bit mixed up in my theology. It is reassuring to know that I have a strong, knowledegable man like you to gently and wisely pick me up when I fall.

Again, my most heartfelt thanks.


Mark 16:17 And these attesting signs will accompany those who believe: in My Name they will drive out demons.

1 Kings 21:14 Then they sent to Jezebel, saying, Naboth is stoned . . .

A SPIRITUAL WARFARE PRAYER:
Father, In Jesus' Name, I take the Blood of Jesus and break the power of all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, sorcerers, wiccans, pagans, and any other source, and all of their rituals off of us. With the Blood of Jesus, I erase all evil lines drawn on our liver. . .

LANDOVER BAPTIST DEMON HUNTING PERMIT #00666-27





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Default Re: LBC to Sterilize Demon-Posessed Infants - 05-15-2008, 04:21 PM

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Originally Posted by Justina Thyme View Post
It is reassuring to know that I have a strong, knowledegable man like you to gently and wisely pick me up when I fall.
Not a problem, my dear. I'm sure we'll discuss this later over dinner.

Same place?
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Default Re: LBC to Sterilize Demon-Posessed Infants - 05-15-2008, 04:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by revrggreen View Post
Not a problem, my dear. I'm sure we'll discuss this later over dinner.

Same place?
Why, yes, Reverend Green. Same time too.


Mark 16:17 And these attesting signs will accompany those who believe: in My Name they will drive out demons.

1 Kings 21:14 Then they sent to Jezebel, saying, Naboth is stoned . . .

A SPIRITUAL WARFARE PRAYER:
Father, In Jesus' Name, I take the Blood of Jesus and break the power of all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, sorcerers, wiccans, pagans, and any other source, and all of their rituals off of us. With the Blood of Jesus, I erase all evil lines drawn on our liver. . .

LANDOVER BAPTIST DEMON HUNTING PERMIT #00666-27





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Default Re: LBC to Sterilize Demon-Posessed Infants - 05-15-2008, 06:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Totus Tuus Mater View Post
You are sick and twisted pyschos, disability is a biological event and states nothing about a person's character. Disabled people have as much right to have children as anyone else. I was born with Cerebral Palsy, it was caused by my prem birth, not piffleing demons. What you are doing is something known as eugenics, the Nazis did it to. Maybe you should compare notes......
Psalms:139:13: For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.
Psalms:139:14: I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
Psalms:139:15: My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Psalms:139:16: Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.

So God is fully aware of what He is doing.

The antichrist, the vicar of Rome, accepts demons as real

Nu:14:18: The LORD is longsuffering, and of great mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression, and by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation.

and also


De:23:1: He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.
De:23:2: A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD.
De:23:3: An Ammonite or Moabite shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to their tenth generation shall they not enter into the congregation of the LORD for ever:
De:23:8: The children that are begotten of them shall enter into the congregation of the LORD in their third generation.

It is clear, demons and congenital disability go hand in hand and The Lord does not like them.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: LBC to Sterilize Demon-Posessed Infants - 05-15-2008, 07:03 PM

Who wants to take a Shot at this one?:

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Default Re: LBC to Sterilize Demon-Posessed Infants - 05-20-2008, 06:35 PM

Pastors!!!! This "breast fed" Baby needs to be sterilized and exorcised Immediately!

SEE PEOPLE!! SEE WHAT BREASTFEEDING DOES!
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Default Re: LBC to Sterilize Demon-Posessed Infants - 05-20-2008, 06:58 PM

CHRIST, Sister Thumper, that "Child" appears to be part Emo!



This all began when they took Prayer out of the schools in 1963.

I also blame Bill Clinton.
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Default Re: LBC to Sterilize Demon-Posessed Infants - 12-11-2011, 05:53 PM

Dear Revrggreen AKA Spasticated retarded blaphemous scumbag, You are a discusting man! How very dare you say something so terribly terribly EVIL! You are right up there with the Nazis and Al Queda. You horrible, horrible amn. You persecute the disabled and call them terrible discriminatory names. Remind you of anyone??? If your neanderthal mind can't comprehend that 'm talking about Adolf Hitler. I bet you love that man. Where have the 10 commandments gone in the last few years. Alas you shall not be saved if you carry on as you are. Does the bible not say "judge not lest ye be judges." It also says, to love your neighbour. And calling someone a retard or spastic is showing a whole lot of love isn't it. (Sarcasm dumbass!)
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Default Re: LBC to Sterilize Demon-Posessed Infants - 12-11-2011, 10:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by I am not Saved View Post
Dear Revrggreen AKA Spasticated retarded blaphemous scumbag, You are a discusting man! How very dare you say something so terribly terribly EVIL! You are right up there with the Nazis and Al Queda. You horrible, horrible amn. You persecute the disabled and call them terrible discriminatory names. Remind you of anyone??? If your neanderthal mind can't comprehend that 'm talking about Adolf Hitler. I bet you love that man. Where have the 10 commandments gone in the last few years. Alas you shall not be saved if you carry on as you are. Does the bible not say "judge not lest ye be judges." It also says, to love your neighbour. And calling someone a retard or spastic is showing a whole lot of love isn't it. (Sarcasm dumbass!)
None of our neighbors are retardeds, so there goes that argument, pal.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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