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Default Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven - 10-01-2014, 10:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by knob polisher View Post
Are there any black folks that y'all are sure made it to heaven??
Sure there are. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, for one. No, wait, he's not dead yet. But I'm sure there have been some ex-Negroes who made it.


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Default Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven - 01-13-2015, 06:24 PM

I do so hope we'll get to meet and worship with Forest Gump star, Gary Sinise! Soon he'll be speaking to Pro Normal Sex organization. Wile the group, Legatus, is Catholic (I know, boo!), we might have hope the LORD is working a mighty work for their own salvation. The Holy Ghost has arranged for Governor of Louisiana and exorcism expert, Bobby Jindal, and Fox anchor Bret Baier to also speak at the secretive event in Florida later this month.



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven - 01-13-2015, 07:47 PM

I knew for sure it was a demon when the subject of the sulfurous smell came up. Witches familiars are usually accompanied by a similarly vile odor.


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Default Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven - 04-05-2015, 04:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Christina View Post
Our beloved Denmarkian politician Pia Kjærsgaard will without a doubt go to Heaven. Although Danishland is already doomed, she is working hard on keeping everything, that looks just a bit moooslimb, out of the country.
Also, she is quite beautiful.



Praise the Lord for her presence in our otherwise God-forsaken country.
Yes and her soul is so beautiful too .

JHL
In the name of our Lord.


A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3
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Jesus Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven - 11-02-2015, 12:52 AM

The very handsome, talented and GODLY Fred Thompson has died. See you in Heaven!




Quote:
NASHVILLE, Tenn. -- Fred Dalton Thompson -- a man with many talents that he employed from Hollywood to Nashville to D.C. -- has died. He was 73.

"Fred once said that the experiences he had growing up in small-town Tennessee formed the prism through which he viewed the world and shaped the way he dealt with life," the family statement read. "Fred stood on principle and common sense, and had a deep love for and connection with the people across Tennessee whom he had the privilege to serve in the United States Senate. He enjoyed a hearty laugh, a strong handshake, a good cigar, and a healthy dose of humility. Fred was the same man on the floor of the Senate, the movie studio, or the town square of Lawrenceburg, his home."
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/former-s...thompson-dies/

The only bad thing he ever did in his life was date that whore, Lori Morgan. But forgave him for that. She is a she devil. She was a bit too old for his taste.



So he married a beautiful Christian, probably 25 years younger than him. Lucky gal.





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Default Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven - 11-02-2015, 01:58 AM

Sometimes I wonder if Bob Marley has gone to the white man's heaven. He was half white like President Barak Obama.


Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4
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Default Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven - 11-02-2015, 04:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by I Man Rastafari View Post
Sometimes I wonder if Bob Marley has gone to the white man's heaven. He was half white like President Barak Obama.
God hates race-mixing, so I can assure you that your pal "Bob" is currently being anally raped down in the deepest pits of hell 24/7. Like all unrepentant sinners.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven - 11-02-2015, 06:12 PM

Ill bet my nelly that that wonderful, pro 2nd Amendment True Christian, Charleton Heston, is playing his harp with the angels as we speak!
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Default Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven - 11-02-2015, 06:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter View Post
I fully expect to sit with my mentor Dr. Kent Hovind, PHD when we both come to see Jesus in the next life. A lifetime dedicated to putting the smack down on heathens/false scientists, and winning every single debate he engaged in surely warrants Dr. Hovind a special place in Heaven.

Praise Christ!
Some of us have been meeting up with Mr Hovind in a rented conference room in the sky. It's a place supplied by the Baby Jesus for everyone who, like Kent and myself, already have a personal relationship with Our Lord. We are discussing the Rapture. It was meant to be last week because the bastard dry cleaners managed to misplace my Rapture gown and have only just now located it. I am picking it up tomorrow, so the modified date for the Rapture begins next Thursday. I hope you people are right with your creator.
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Default Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven - 11-02-2015, 06:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by I Man Rastafari View Post
Sometimes I wonder if Bob Marley has gone to the white man's heaven. He was half white like President Barak Obama.


Being "half-white" is like being "half-sinner". The decent half won't save you on judgement day.


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Default Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven - 11-02-2015, 06:46 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1liesalot View Post
Some of us have been meeting up with Mr Hovind in a rented conference room in the sky. It's a place supplied by the Baby Jesus for everyone who, like Kent and myself, already have a personal relationship with Our Lord. We are discussing the Rapture. It was meant to be last week because the bastard dry cleaners managed to misplace my Rapture gown and have only just now located it. I am picking it up tomorrow, so the modified date for the Rapture begins next Thursday. I hope you people are right with your creator.

I find it hard to follow with any interest those who have not formally introduced themselves. I would never have the audacity to walk into another mans home and walk as if I belonged without introduction. These are the un- Godly actions of a Heathen.

Perhaps you might like to make your own thread and introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.


Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.


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Halo Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven - 05-31-2016, 08:48 PM

See you in Heaven Sister Crouch.

Jan was called home to Heaven today.








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Default Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven - 05-31-2016, 11:44 PM

She had an angelic face--born of natural beauty and needed nothing else to look beautiful.

She and husband Paul were pioneers of living the humble life and giving away everything they had to Jesus.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven - 07-31-2016, 06:41 PM

Tim LaHaye, a True Christian™ pastor hailing from otherwise Godless California, was called Home to the Bosom of Jesus this week after 90 long years of service to the King of Kings. Dr. LaHaye encouraged Christians early in his career to become politically active. Forming the organization "Californians for Biblical Morality," he caught the attention of televangelist Jerry Falwell, who corroborated with Dr. LaHaye to create the Moral Majority. This non-denominational, Dominion oriented organization supported Republicans Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush before being a Christian was "cool" in politics. We can see now how very positive this message has been incorporated into our nation, as Americans are more likely to trust a child molester than an atheist in general, much less to be in charge at the helm of our great nation.

Perhaps better known for his Left Behind book series, LaHaye helped inspire generations of young Americans to develop PTSD by popularizing vivid descriptions and warnings of being Left Behind, tortured for the faith, suffering a very real Hell on Earth, complete with Satan, demons, fire, and a constant, supernatural persecution that would make Fox News blush for whining about such trivial loss of privileges every winter. Scaring the pants off children was a particular Spiritual Gift Dr. LaHaye had, and he wasted no time in spreading the fear through popular movies, church plays, youth group discussions, Vacation Bible School themes, songs, and games to be played during Family Fun Night. Dr. LaHaye was convinced the Antichrist had been born during his lifetime, and due to his earnest faith and deep pockets, he persuaded millions of Americans to accept this idea to be true. Thus, we have an unprecedented population of Americans absolutely sure any American politician or business man who is not truly devoted to Jesus could be the very one who will bring about Armageddon. Some call this paranoia, but the Bible calls it being watchful.


Can't wait to see you in Heaven!





Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven - 08-01-2016, 10:40 PM

Was Tim living proof that being beloved of God stops your hair going grey?
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Default Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven - 08-02-2016, 03:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roast Beef View Post
Was Tim living proof that being beloved of God stops your hair going grey?
I think not. Casey Kasem used witchcraft.



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Jesus Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven - 12-19-2016, 01:54 AM

I bet good Ole Rob Ford will still be a lovable baffoon when we see him in Heaven.








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Love Jesus Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven - 02-15-2018, 04:57 AM

Prince Consort Henrik of Denmark, a direct descendant of Hamlet and compatriot of the sodomite Hans Christian Andersen, dies at 83. How come he's in Heaven, you may ask! There is no doubt as he represented some of the most precious ideals of Biblical conduct despite being of the aristocracy of one of the vilest nations on Earth, Denmark.



The verse Prince Henrik loved the most was as follows:
Luke 14:26
If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and
wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.


He despised his wife, the Queer Margrethe of Denmark and refused to be buried with her.
Quote:
"It is no secret that the prince for many years has been unhappy with his role and the title he has been awarded in the Danish monarchy. This discontent has grown more and more in recent years," the palace's communications chief, Lene Balleby, told Danish tabloid BT in August last year.
"For the prince, the decision not to be buried beside the queen is the natural consequence of not having been treated equally to his spouse -- by not having the title and role he has desired."
Being born in Godless France Henrik moved to Godless Denmark expecting to establish a Kingdom but ended up being persecuted by a woman in a Queendom, probably a tranny one. By protesting he supported the Biblical Truths™ of male supremacy.

1 Corinthians 11:3
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.


His persecution is a vivid example of the magnanimous nature of Jesus.

Matthew 5:12
Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.


We remember him fondly and will meet with Him on the Bosom of Jesus. Here you can see a picture of him with the Prince Consort aka Boytoy Charles of Good Ol' England.



Charles won't be in Heaven unless some unexpected happens in the Repentance Front.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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flag Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven - 05-05-2018, 06:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter View Post
I fully expect to sit with my mentor Dr. Kent Hovind, PHD when we both come to see Jesus in the next life. A lifetime dedicated to putting the smack down on heathens/false scientists, and winning every single debate he engaged in surely warrants Dr. Hovind a special place in Heaven.

Praise Christ!
Amen, God bless Kent Hovind!

About universalism, it's not true. Otherwise John 3:36 was not part of the King James Bible. He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.
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Diesel Stanford Diesel Stanford is offline
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Jesus Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven - 05-05-2018, 06:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
Most definitely, fellow True Christian™ Pat Robertson. I met Pat in the mid-70's and we've been good friends ever since. He's also a very wise man and I look up to him with much respect.


I do not mean to unkind, but then this one may shock you about Mr. Robertson: Pat Robertson Comments on Pope John Paul II's Passing

About Bob Marley: who knows if he was just like Clarence Thomas.
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