HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN A seasonal forum to NOT celebrate Satan's birthday. |
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Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween? -
10-13-2010, 06:54 AM
I thought about handing out little bags of carrots, but that might get them thinking about the Easter Bunny.
Uncertainly Yours,
Handmaiden
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
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Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween? -
10-13-2010, 07:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden
I thought about handing out little bags of carrots, but that might get them thinking about the Easter Bunny.
Uncertainly Yours,
Handmaiden
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Celery sticks? Radishes? Dried prunes?
Well just to warn everyone here, we are going to be putting the lights up the driveway with the dogs chained at the curve. Anyone trick-or-treating at our house will be heading home to change their drawers.
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Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween? -
10-13-2010, 02:44 PM
I have rigged quite a bit of high-powered lighting around the house, mostly shining straight at it. I want to brighten up the entire area, as Jesus brightens up the areas He is in. The sign, which says BEST HALLOWEEN CANDY IN THE TOWN will be up across my entire second floor. The idea is that kids will be attracted like moths, and once they pass the kleig-lights, they will not be able to see any of the one-way concertina wire that is strung in multiple layers around the perimeter.
I have tracts at the ready of course, to bring Jesus into their hearts, but I think good old time shouting scripture at the top of my lungs a half inch from their faces gets the job done even better! Plus, the little beggars probably can't even read, with their secular humanist devil loving public education.
With any luck, I can get most of the neighborhood kids in there! Praise!
He is the tower of salvation for his king: and sheweth mercy to his anointed, unto David, and to his seed for evermore. 2 Samuel 22:51
God, Guns and BBQ make AMERICA great!
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Debate Moderator (and participant) Master Debater-- Has Never Been Defeated in a Debate Louder Than Reason
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Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween? -
10-17-2010, 09:51 AM
Today I saw a guy making a haunted maze in his garage, using pieces of plywood as walls. I called the building inspector to go check it out and sure enough there were a few violations so the stupid guy had to take it all down.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
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Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween? -
10-18-2010, 05:14 PM
If I hear "Happy Halloween" one more time before Oct. 31 I think I'm going to lose it. I understand why the unsaved say it on Halloween, they already don't care about their souls which are doomed to hell, but what's the point of saying it two weeks before Halloween? Do you tell your friends "Happy Thanksgiving" two weeks before Thanksgiving? Do you tell your friends "happy birthday" on any day other than their real birthday?
Halloween this year is starting to overwhelm me with bad feelings and my anxiety level has gone up to the point where I'm not even sleeping well. I fear what all this stress is going to do to my heart. I get angry every time a new pumpkin appears on the block or when another neighbor stretches synthetic cobwebs on their bushes.
I can't even go to the store without seeing pallets of candy for sale. When I walk into the Piggly Wiggly and I see all that candy I think about the candy burn and I'm overcome with desire to just light the pile right there inside the store. I know that I wouldn't be very popular if I did that so I just keep my feelings bottled up to the point where I feel like my head is going to explode.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween? -
10-18-2010, 05:46 PM
Brother Nobar, I'm concerned.
Why is Officer Don "Not Fat" Richards allowing pumpkins, spiderwebs, etc. in Jenkem Flats?
Is this just another example of how he neglects to enforce the law in your "extraordinarily affordable" neighborhood?
I'm sure you'd have no difficulties with the law if you cleaned up on your own, perhaps in partnership with Brother Cranky.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
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Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween? -
10-18-2010, 05:58 PM
You can hardly tell the difference, some times. A couple of the houses on this street already look like haunted houses all year round. Overgrown trees surrounding properties that are covered feet deep with the mulch from years of never clearing the leaves. Some hoarders live over there, I heard that they had to start living in their van because there was so much junk in the house. Even the van was full of news papers and didn't run at all.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween? -
10-18-2010, 06:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
You can hardly tell the difference, some times. A couple of the houses on this street already look like haunted houses all year round. Overgrown trees surrounding properties that are covered feet deep with the mulch from years of never clearing the leaves. Some hoarders live over there, I heard that they had to start living in their van because there was so much junk in the house. Even the van was full of news papers and didn't run at all.
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Brother, I've heard that newspapers and leaves are flammable.
That could be a fire hazard.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Debate Moderator (and participant) Master Debater-- Has Never Been Defeated in a Debate Louder Than Reason
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Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween? -
10-18-2010, 08:10 PM
I was driving around a neighborhood in a city that I don't even live in and I saw a house that had been made to look as though it were haunted: boarded up windows, overgrown lawn, peeling paint, fake cobwebs. I asked the owner, who was hanging a fake ghost in the tree outside the house if he made his house look like this for Halloween and he said he had. I then got the number of his Home Owner's Association and called it in, sure enough he was in violation of a plethora of rules and regulations. Next day I drove by again and it was all gone!
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Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween? -
10-19-2010, 03:44 PM
I had a nice chat with several members of my congregation last night, and we came up with a great idea.
The kids come to the door and say "Trick or Treat", right? Of course, what they MEAN is, "GIMME a treat NOW, or I will play a trick on you!" They're threatening to throw eggs at your car to ruin your paint job, or soap your windows, or spray paint your house.
(For adults, "trick" has a different meaning which I will not discuss here. Mrs. James West, I've got my eye on you. )
The younger kids, who haven't graduated to the level of "tricking", may understand it differently. "Give me a treat, or give me a trick!"
OK. One trick, coming up.
Christians, get your garden hoses! (A bucket full of honey works well, but leaves the front stoop all sticky.)
Ah, the delicious tears of Satan's minions, hosed down with 40-degree water, their costumes ruined . . .
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween? -
10-19-2010, 09:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
I had a nice chat with several members of my congregation last night, and we came up with a great idea.
The kids come to the door and say "Trick or Treat", right? Of course, what they MEAN is, "GIMME a treat NOW, or I will play a trick on you!" They're threatening to throw eggs at your car to ruin your paint job, or soap your windows, or spray paint your house.
(For adults, "trick" has a different meaning which I will not discuss here. Mrs. James West, I've got my eye on you. )
The younger kids, who haven't graduated to the level of "tricking", may understand it differently. "Give me a treat, or give me a trick!"
OK. One trick, coming up.
Christians, get your garden hoses! (A bucket full of honey works well, but leaves the front stoop all sticky.)
Ah, the delicious tears of Satan's minions, hosed down with 40-degree water, their costumes ruined . . .
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That gives me an idea.....
What about a few of these hidden around the house. They're motion activated.
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Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween? -
10-19-2010, 09:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod
That gives me an idea.....
What about a few of these hidden around the house. They're motion activated.
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Great idea, Sister!
You could set a couple up pointing toward the house, so they only come on once the kiddies are past them . . . then have others set up to direct them through a water-spray maze into your very own meat locker Hell House!
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween? -
10-27-2010, 03:24 PM
I'm wrighting up these panpthlets on how halloween is a disgrace against the Lord and will give them to trick or treaters that come to my house on halloween instead of candy. I have a bunch of raw egg rootting in this jug and if anyone of them try to talk back to me after I hand them the panthlet I'm gonna pour it in their candy basket.
GOD HATE FAGS
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Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween? -
10-27-2010, 08:38 PM
I take my cousin Little Tony on a real trick or treat.
We go to the jew neighborhoods. We ask for gold, or else.
We also get lots of candy we resell later to buy proper dietary supplements at the on-line Mexican pharmacy.
Little Tony has knack for "persuading" jews , he wants to be just like me.
Galations 5:6 (KJV 1611) For in Jesus Christ neither circumcision availeth any thing, nor uncircumcision; but faith which worketh by love.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
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Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween? -
10-27-2010, 09:00 PM
I prayed for rain for the entire United States on Sunday. That's not likely to happen, but at least there's a forecast for rain for central Iowa on Halloween.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween? -
10-27-2010, 09:57 PM
fun fact that you seem to hate iceland that Halloween is not celebrated in Iceland
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween? -
10-27-2010, 10:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gambri
fun fact that you seem to hate iceland that Halloween is not celebrated in Iceland
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Gee, that is indeed very funny. Now go back to your igloo please.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween? -
10-29-2010, 07:35 PM
Instead of candy, I pass out flyers telling the kids to repent and listen to Jubus
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Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween? -
10-29-2010, 09:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by catcooker
Instead of candy, I pass out flyers telling the kids to repent and listen to Jubus
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What is "Jubus"? Some sort of a heavy metal band, I bet.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween? -
10-18-2012, 05:00 AM
I just installed a brand new sprinkler system to water my magnificent lawn and I paid extra to have a switch installed inside the front door so that I can turn it on in an instant to soak Jehovas, Mormons, and trick-or-treaters. If my prayer for rain doesn't work then I'll just rain on the parade, myself.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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