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Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 01-22-2012, 07:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SpaceMan View Post

A little clarity would be greatly appreciated.
Perhaps you could clarify why you want to spit in the face of poor baby Jesus with your homosexual urges?

In God's great mercy, He has offered a way to save you from the destination of Hell you were born to follow. Why do you not love and worship Him for that? Why mock Him with your choice?


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 01-22-2012, 07:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SpaceMan View Post
I'm kind of new here, but I've joined to specifically comment on this section of the forum. For quite a while now I've know myself to be homosexual, however I never act upon such urges nor intend to. As I personally study biology, physiology, and chemistry I don't believe homosexuality as anything more than a chemical imbalance.

I did mention I am abstinent, and that is because, I still attend sermons every Sunday, volunteer at the local church, and for all intents and purposes, I am a Christian.

But what seems to escape me, is the cause of such a fervent hatred in what should merely be a live and let live situation. As I see it, the whole situation is just another sin of the flesh, so if I'm not to engage in sexual activity of that sort, why should I be damned? God will not allow those who seek such forbidden fruit into the kingdom of heaven, so why must the Christian community engage the damned? Why not just let them go to hell?

A little clarity would be greatly appreciated.
The Bible tells us that homosexual feelings are a punishment sent from God to those who have committed idolatry. So instead of asking us why we hold you accountable for your sins of idolatry, why don't you explain to us why you would worship a false idol?

Quote:
Romans 1:25-26

King James Version (KJV)


25Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.
26For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:


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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 01-22-2012, 07:42 PM

See that's the thing Ma'am. The bible states it to be a sin lay down with another man, but never would I think to disgrace Him in such a manner. Without sex what is it but a love of mankind. However, I've found churches that except who I am, because they've seen me for who I am, the work I present and charity, good-will, toward all in this selfish and chaotic world. But moreover Ma'am, I'm not looking to be ostracized, merely a reason I'm an abomination, that has never thought to engage another man in intercourse.


Isaiah 49:15-16
“Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you! See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands.”
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Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 01-22-2012, 07:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SpaceMan View Post
See that's the thing Ma'am. The bible states it to be a sin lay down with another man, but never would I think to disgrace Him in such a manner. Without sex what is it but a love of mankind. However, I've found churches that except who I am, because they've seen me for who I am, the work I present and charity, good-will, toward all in this selfish and chaotic world. But moreover Ma'am, I'm not looking to be ostracized, merely a reason I'm an abomination, that has never thought to engage another man in intercourse.
Those so-called churches that accept you are looking out for their bank accounts, not for your eternal soul. We here at Landover Baptist Church care for your eternal soul. You may not think that you'll ever lie with another man, but homosexual urges can't be held back for long. You'll find yourself stalking bathrooms and rest stops on the highway, you'll find yourself watching kids coming home from school, you might already be of the opinion that My Little Pony isn't actually a beacon for faggots world-wide to get to "know" each other by sexting or in real life.

God created you to create male children with a female wife, to be attracted to her breasts and her hips and thighs and, well, you know what I mean. Or you should, as a red-blooded American. The fact that you would live happily and fulfilled with another man for the rest of your life if God but allowed it reveals the depths of your delusion.

Repent, dear. Embrace Jesus instead.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 01-22-2012, 07:54 PM

And however in the case idolatry, what more idolatry would it be than a womanizer to yet another female, viewing her simply as a meat, not as an individual. Than on many case perhaps idolatry is in play, as I admire the roses that bloom as orange as the sun, or perhaps picturesque mountain view. That seems rather a feeble response, but I can see the logic behind it.


Isaiah 49:15-16
“Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you! See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands.”
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 01-22-2012, 07:56 PM

If you're so serious about your walk with Christ, why aren't you seeking out treatment for your sodomania? There are many Christian organizations that help perverts like you. Trust me. As an Ex-Gay©, I know.

If you continue on thinking that simple abstinence is sufficient, it will only be a matter of time before you find yourself crouched in the back of some shower in a cheap hotel room after getting passed around between three burly truckers, crying as the hot water scalds your skin. No matter how hot you get the water, you simply can't wash away the dirtiness. Believe me, son. I've been there. It's easier to backslide into backsides than you know.

God has brought you to our forum for a reason - to learn what it means to be a True Christian™. Apparently you go to social organizations that falsely call themselves churches. No True Church would molly-coddle you and tell you your perversions are okay in the sight of the LORD. We're simply telling you what He says, as given unto us in the Holy Bible.

Please try not to be so hostile. We are only trying to help you and the rest of the unsaved trash who come here spewing hatred and making excuses for your perversions. It's not too late for you or for them. We want you all to join us in Heaven. It is precisely because of our Christian love that we scourge and chasten people like you.

Hebrews 12:5-8
And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:
For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.


II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 01-22-2012, 08:11 PM

I appreciate the help I really do sir and I don't mean to come of as hostile, I'm simple too young to have to keep trying to figure out why it is I feel no attraction to a woman of beauty, only the dim, fluttering acknowledgment of such. It just always strikes me as odd, that in this world of such adamant hatred, the bullseye falls upon the homosexual community, which many of them just want to be left alone. I personally just want a middle-ground between the sciences I know and the biblical moral I was taught upon.


Isaiah 49:15-16
“Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you! See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands.”
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 01-22-2012, 08:24 PM

As my True Christian™ brothers and sisters have posted, there is no "middle ground", my friend. You can either ask Jesus Christ for help in reversing your decision to lust after the backsides of men and be normal and happy. Or suffer the misery and despair of being a filthy queer.

When I chose to be a fag, I began much the same way as you. General gay behavior and appearance, but not acting on the wicked impulse. Frequenting fern bars and listening to Donna Summer disco music, I admired the buttocks of men and fantasized late at night of homo sin beyond description.

Then the Castro district of San Franciso reeled me in and "accepted" me for "what i was". In no time at all, my days were consumed with dozens of sodomy trysts in the bushes and back alleys. Disease ridden, drug dependant, an alcoholic and a prolapsed rectum. Does this sound like the future you want?

Then I found Jesus Christ and the gayness was gone forever! Twenty years now fag free and the only intervention that ever worked for me.

You can do it too son.

In Christ


Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

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Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 01-22-2012, 08:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SpaceMan View Post
I appreciate the help I really do sir and I don't mean to come of as hostile, I'm simple too young to have to keep trying to figure out why it is I feel no attraction to a woman of beauty, only the dim, fluttering acknowledgment of such. It just always strikes me as odd, that in this world of such adamant hatred, the bullseye falls upon the homosexual community, which many of them just want to be left alone. I personally just want a middle-ground between the sciences I know and the biblical moral I was taught upon.
There is no middle ground, sir. There is God's way or Hell. It is really that simple.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 01-22-2012, 08:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SpaceMan View Post
I'm kind of new here, but I've joined to specifically comment on this section of the forum. For quite a while now I've know myself to be homosexual, however I never act upon such urges nor intend to. As I personally study biology, physiology, and chemistry I don't believe homosexuality as anything more than a chemical imbalance.

I did mention I am abstinent, and that is because, I still attend sermons every Sunday, volunteer at the local church, and for all intents and purposes, I am a Christian.

But what seems to escape me, is the cause of such a fervent hatred in what should merely be a live and let live situation. As I see it, the whole situation is just another sin of the flesh, so if I'm not to engage in sexual activity of that sort, why should I be damned? God will not allow those who seek such forbidden fruit into the kingdom of heaven, so why must the Christian community engage the damned? Why not just let them go to hell?

A little clarity would be greatly appreciated.
Is the idea that God commands that it is an abomination and that is the end of the matter a difficult concept?



Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 01-23-2012, 12:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SpaceMan View Post
And however in the case idolatry, what more idolatry would it be than a womanizer to yet another female, viewing her simply as a meat, not as an individual. Than on many case perhaps idolatry is in play, as I admire the roses that bloom as orange as the sun, or perhaps picturesque mountain view. That seems rather a feeble response, but I can see the logic behind it.
There is no justification for idolatry. You must repent of these abominations before the curse of homosexuality will be lifted from you.

There is nothing wrong with viewing a woman as less than a man. The Bible commands us to perceive women that way.
Quote:
1 Corinthians 11:3

King James Version (KJV)


3But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
You must stop seeking logic and begin seeking Jesus. Otherwise you will burn for all eternity. You will find Him in the KJV Bible.


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Princess001 Princess001 is offline
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 01-23-2012, 04:49 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SpaceMan View Post
I'm kind of new here, but I've joined to specifically comment on this section of the forum. For quite a while now I've know myself to be homosexual, however I never act upon such urges nor intend to. As I personally study biology, physiology, and chemistry I don't believe homosexuality as anything more than a chemical imbalance.

I did mention I am abstinent, and that is because, I still attend sermons every Sunday, volunteer at the local church, and for all intents and purposes, I am a Christian.

But what seems to escape me, is the cause of such a fervent hatred in what should merely be a live and let live situation. As I see it, the whole situation is just another sin of the flesh, so if I'm not to engage in sexual activity of that sort, why should I be damned? God will not allow those who seek such forbidden fruit into the kingdom of heaven, so why must the Christian community engage the damned? Why not just let them go to hell?

A little clarity would be greatly appreciated.
I can never imagine being attracted to the same sex, that would be disgusting! I would never be attracted to a female, because I'm extremely heterosexual and totally not gay.
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 01-23-2012, 04:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess001 View Post
I can never imagine being attracted to the same sex, that would be disgusting! I would never be attracted to a female, because I'm extremely heterosexual and totally not gay.
I'm not so sure...


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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UncleDilf UncleDilf is offline
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 01-28-2012, 09:59 AM

I meATed Reverend Mutumbo in Lousiana the other day. I was "enlightend" by him since then.

This is my sixth day beeing a born-again-chrissy. And you know what???

I feel greAT. I have never felt such power and inner peace before.

I was sinning 24/7. The list is long.

I threw away all my junk food, male entertainment DVDs, and my laptop. Now I am visiting the gym with BUFF the STUFF Bagwell. We train hard, eAT healthy food and pray before BENCH-PRESSING.

Jesus Christ is my lord and savior. I hope I find friends here, so we can meAT. Let's meAT.
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 01-28-2012, 10:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by UncleDilf View Post
I meATed Reverend Mutumbo in Lousiana the other day. I was "enlightend" by him since then.

This is my sixth day beeing a born-again-chrissy. And you know what???

I feel greAT. I have never felt such power and inner peace before.

I was sinning 24/7. The list is long.

I threw away all my junk food, male entertainment DVDs, and my laptop. Now I am visiting the gym with BUFF the STUFF Bagwell. We train hard, eAT healthy food and pray before BENCH-PRESSING.

Jesus Christ is my lord and savior. I hope I find friends here, so we can meAT. Let's meAT.
Are you typing in some sort of code?


Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016

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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 04-09-2012, 03:56 AM

We should just stone all of the homosexuals. We can ask our women which men are attractive. A straight man wouldn't delve his time gawking at himself in the mirror to ensure proper appearance. On a 1-10 scale I'd say the magic number would be 7. All the men a committee of women rate above seven should be stoned PERIOD!

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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 04-09-2012, 03:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Apotheosis View Post
We should just stone all of the homosexuals. We can ask our women which men are attractive. A straight man wouldn't delve his time gawking at himself in the mirror to ensure proper appearance. On a 1-10 scale I'd say the magic number would be 7. All the men a committee of women rate above seven should be stoned PERIOD!

Numerology is a sin.

Also, we are commanded to obey secular law.

Read your Bible.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Masterchef Masterchef is offline
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 04-09-2012, 01:23 PM

Can I be gay for Jesus?
What if Jesus is gay for me? He's got long hair like those fellas that dress like women
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Roberta Roberta is offline
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 04-09-2012, 01:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Masterchef View Post
Can I be gay for Jesus?
What if Jesus is gay for me? He's got long hair like those fellas that dress like women
Is school closed today for Easter, Chief? You are very close being banned.

Watch what you say here, boy.


Come climb my mountains.
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Masterchef Masterchef is offline
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 04-09-2012, 01:35 PM

School is not closed
God gave me this iPod so I could post during school
THANK YOU JESUS
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