Focus on Family - Christian Parenting A place where parents can get good Godly advice on how to raise a family: how to properly administer corporal punishment, which movies to avoid, and more! |
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With faith as immovable as the Earth
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,779
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Body in England but HEART IN FREEHOLD!
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Have your children seen God's Beaver yet? -
04-24-2012, 08:05 AM
If you haven't shown your children God's Beaver yet then you really should.
The Creation Evidence Museum has some wonderful online resources for home schooling.
HERE is the great lesson on God's Beaver.
As it rightly points out, the beaver could just not happen through the 'theory' of evolution.
Dr. Baugh: “Some people say that beavers evolved all of those features one by one, but each one is necessary for the beaver to be so successful at living in its watery environment, it could not survive as it does if it was not born with the perfect combination already fully usable. You can learn a lesson from the beaver: Use what God gave you to succeed in life and when you learn how complex your own features are, remember you were created as a unique creature by a very smart and loving Creator!”
Please, show your children God's Beaver,
GLORY!
Jack
Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet? -
04-24-2012, 08:30 AM
I'm never to sure about beavers.
Aren't they fish? They smell of fish. I'm sure they are fish.
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 864
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Following God's commands - including the 'difficult' ones.
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Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet? -
04-24-2012, 08:36 AM
Apparently even the pope says that they can be eaten on Fridays. I don't eat a lot of beaver myself (I don't like the taste unless it has been thoroughly washed). I don't suppose you do either Brother Laurence? With your wife leaving you and everything?
YIC
Genesis 7:5
And Noah did according unto all that the LORD commanded him.
John 8:32
And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet? -
04-24-2012, 08:45 AM
Quote:
With your wife leaving you and everything?
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Well she'll be laughing on the other side of her face soon enough: my new char lady is working out a treat and the house is spotless and the dinner is in the oven when I get home
YIC
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 864
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Following God's commands - including the 'difficult' ones.
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Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet? -
04-24-2012, 08:49 AM
Excellent - I'm sure she'll be sorting you out some good beaver soon.
Is she a good cook?
YIC
Genesis 7:5
And Noah did according unto all that the LORD commanded him.
John 8:32
And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet? -
04-24-2012, 10:00 AM
She says she has a great rump roast.
Can't wait
YIC
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet? -
04-24-2012, 10:53 PM
While I agree that God's Creation is perfect in every way, I've always been confused about one thing: Toenails.
All mine ever do is cut my good socks if I don't trim them really short. What are they for?
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers Salvation from Above God's Favorite Pilot™
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,282
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Flying the Friendly Skies for Jesus!
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Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet? -
04-25-2012, 01:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack O'fagan
If you haven't shown your children God's Beaver yet then you really should.
The Creation Evidence Museum has some wonderful online resources for home schooling.
HERE is the great lesson on God's Beaver.
As it rightly points out, the beaver could just not happen through the 'theory' of evolution.
Dr. Baugh: “Some people say that beavers evolved all of those features one by one, but each one is necessary for the beaver to be so successful at living in its watery environment, it could not survive as it does if it was not born with the perfect combination already fully usable. You can learn a lesson from the beaver: Use what God gave you to succeed in life and when you learn how complex your own features are, remember you were created as a unique creature by a very smart and loving Creator!”
Please, show your children God's Beaver,
GLORY!
Jack
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Glory indeed Brother!
A beaver could never evolve all at once, and I'll tell you from experience that if you cut of their tails or knock out their teeth, they die in a matter of days. Scientists are idiots for suggesting that beavers without big flat tails or huge teeth could have survived in the past!
On a related note, muskrats meet the same fate as beavers if you bash them in the face with a shovel, knocking their teeth out. They can live longer without their tails though. Maybe that's because God gave them smaller ones.
So, after your children are well versed in the glory of our furry little friend the beaver, introduce them to God's other perfectly created, but dissimliar little pal, the muskrat!
The wily and intelligently designed muskrat. Take THAT evolutionists!
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Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!
God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!
Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 131
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Taking up a top missionary position in Thailand
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Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet? -
04-26-2012, 01:12 AM
I make sure to let my own children know about not just the one beaver, but that ALL beavers are God's beavers. At least, so long as those beavers are doing the Lord's work. Of course, sometimes my kids ask how God's beavers stand being so hot and hairy in the summertime if they never get shaved, and I just tell them it's because they get so soaking wet. Kids ask the funniest questions sometimes!
Dr. Henry Poppendorfer's True Christian™ Male Pediatric Health Clinic Proudly inspecting and servicing the next generation of GOD-fearing spiritual warriors for JESUS for over two decades! We follow the LORD in the spirit of Mark 10:13 and know it is HIS hand guiding ours! Your son will be raptured good & hard, we guarantee it!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 864
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Following God's commands - including the 'difficult' ones.
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Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet? -
04-26-2012, 08:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Henry Poppendorfer
Kids ask the funniest questions sometimes!
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That's very true Henry, my oldest son wants to know why beavers smell of fish? He says they aren't fish, they don't ingest fish and seem to fill themselves with wood. So why the smell? I suggested he bring it up at Sunday School.
YIC
Genesis 7:5
And Noah did according unto all that the LORD commanded him.
John 8:32
And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
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Unsaved trash false psuedo Christian
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Posts: 366
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Blewbury
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04-26-2012, 08:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
While I agree that God's Creation is perfect in every way, I've always been confused about one thing: Toenails.
All mine ever do is cut my good socks if I don't trim them really short. What are they for?
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You are right about the Designer making things perfectly.
Toes nails are for support as we put downforce on our toes as we walk or run. Imagine the mess we would make if the top of our skin on our toes was compressed by our distal phalanx!
Yuck!
The Designer gets it right again: there is purpose in everything.
ThinksDesign.
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet? -
04-26-2012, 04:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThinksDesign
You are right about the Designer making things perfectly.
Toes nails are for support as we put downforce on our toes as we walk or run. Imagine the mess we would make if the top of our skin on our toes was compressed by our distal phalanx!
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That makes no sense. People walk just fine when they've lost their toenails due to fungal infections or injury.
Maybe God just wants to keep women busy darning our socks!
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 131
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Taking up a top missionary position in Thailand
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Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet? -
05-06-2012, 11:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noah Sole
That's very true Henry, my oldest son wants to know why beavers smell of fish? He says they aren't fish, they don't ingest fish and seem to fill themselves with wood. So why the smell? I suggested he bring it up at Sunday School.
YIC
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Hmmm, I think I see the problem: Beavers get wet with the water fish have been swimming in, thus when they get all wet and soaked, they stink of fish. Of course, it doesn't hurt them any, all they're looking for is a nice stiff log, and I'm sure the wood doesn't mind.
Dr. Henry Poppendorfer's True Christian™ Male Pediatric Health Clinic Proudly inspecting and servicing the next generation of GOD-fearing spiritual warriors for JESUS for over two decades! We follow the LORD in the spirit of Mark 10:13 and know it is HIS hand guiding ours! Your son will be raptured good & hard, we guarantee it!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 864
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Following God's commands - including the 'difficult' ones.
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Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet? -
05-06-2012, 02:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Henry Poppendorfer
Hmmm, I think I see the problem: Beavers get wet with the water fish have been swimming in, thus when they get all wet and soaked, they stink of fish. Of course, it doesn't hurt them any, all they're looking for is a nice stiff log, and I'm sure the wood doesn't mind.
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My wife was looking over my shoulder as I read that. She shouted 'Thanks' and has now gone for a shower. What was that all about? Funny things women...
Genesis 7:5
And Noah did according unto all that the LORD commanded him.
John 8:32
And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet? -
05-07-2012, 03:47 AM
Beavers stink to high Heaven and they taste nasty (so I've heard) so I want nothing to do with them.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Guest
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Posts: 3
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Godless Europistan
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Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet? -
05-15-2012, 11:30 PM
So gods a female and a pedophile?!
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One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers Salvation from Above God's Favorite Pilot™
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,282
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Flying the Friendly Skies for Jesus!
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Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet? -
05-16-2012, 12:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by stanismyhero
So gods a female and a pedophile?!
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No.
and . . .
No.
Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!
God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!
Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet? -
05-16-2012, 12:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by stanismyhero
So gods a female and a pedophile?!
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Friend, there is only one God. You may worship a female and you may also worship a pedophile. But not us.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet? -
05-16-2012, 02:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by stanismyhero
So gods a female and a pedophile?!
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Who is this "stan" that you worship? Your queer boyfriend maybe?
Please make a thread of your own in the " Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.
And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Apostle to the Samites and Laplander Eskimos.
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Posts: 5,720
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Surrounded by feral eskimos.
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Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet? -
05-16-2012, 02:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Who is this "stan" that you worship? Your queer boyfriend maybe?
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I don't think he is worshiping stan. Stanismy is an old commie name, no idea about the hero though. Maybe it translates to some working class hero or other marxist crap.
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