[Faith_Machine]

Hello, my odd new friend in Christ.

I would just like to make sure you're planning to capitalize whatever weird pronouns you use for the Lord, OK?

For example, "I know my cross-dressing angers the Lord, but I think ze will forgive me even though I haven't asked zir to" would be very wrong because you failed to capitalize ze and zir.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, please tell us all about your walk with the Lord and whether you have a penis.

[MitzaLizalor]

If words have no meaning other than what is arbitrarily ascribed to them as signifiers, why do you obsess over mere pronouns? Surely adverbs would warrant more attention..

He crossed the road (ho hum)
vs He crossed the road seductively, mincing horribly.

How do you feel about gerunds?

[Dr Laurence Niles]

I aspire to be a psychologist in the future because I have a huge fascination with mental illness. I also play soccer.

That's about it... thanks for reading

That is good news. I am a psychologist by training. I'm no longer one, however because of the rigid, closed minded dogma of athiesm that prevented me from helping people find Jesus during our sessions.

It was a very sad time for my patients: my approach was very successful as few patients every came back.

YIC

[Jim Farmer]

Originally Posted by cb-fob

I aspire to be a psychologist in the future because I have a huge fascination with mental illness. I also play soccer.

It's my personal observation that nearly all children with a desire to be a psychologist or a shrink, do so in order to understand their own mental illness. The fact that you admit you have such a fascination serves as confirmation of this, in your case. (Dr Niles is an exception to this, of course).

You play soccer? You are definitely gaywise then.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Dear friend:

If your new pronouns are so wonderful, why didn't God inspire them to be used in the King James Bible? The answer, of course, is that they are quite unnecessary:

[Mark 10:6 KJV] 6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.

[Faith_Machine]

These people trying to control our language are all about hatred. Just look at this meme they've been passing around on the Internet, where the letters appear to be dripping blood. Does this seem peaceful and loving to you? I find it frightening. There is a heavily implied threat that harm will come to you if you do not obey them.

[MitzaLizalor]

Originally Posted by Jim Farmer

It's my personal observation that nearly all children with a desire to be a psychologist or a shrink, do so in order to understand their own mental illness

Juzt az well ze doezn't wanna take up neurology or play Auztralian rulez football

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

According to this authoritative and comprehensive table (taken from some whiny teenage website) it isn't even supposed to be ze and zir; it's supposed to be ze and hir (pronounced like "here", for added confusion).



So it seems like the kiddywinks who talk this nonsense can't even get it right.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Sounds like they're trying to sound French.

Zimzelf?

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda

Sounds like they're trying to sound French.

Well, Sister Mary Ezzeldreda if this did catch on - which of course it won't - then I can see one small benefit. All the English language schools on the south coast of England would be packed out with Frenchies, desperate to learn how to pronounce "th", so as not to sound like "zee puftairs". The local economy would benefit from the additional fees although sales of deodorant would remain as stagnant as their armpits.

At the moment, even the very few Saved French refuse to pronounce "th", although they are perfectly capable of doing it. According to a French baptist pastor who recently visited our church, to do so is seen as condoning an abomination, because in France only homosexuals lisp. I have to say that this seems like a well-intentioned (if utterly mistaken) reason for failing to master the language of the KJV.

[MitzaLizalor]

People who don't like pronouns already have the option of not using them.

EXAMPLE 1

Hello! I guess I'll talk a bit about myself. I'm Chloe, and I identify as gender neutral. So I prefer z pronouns for example:
Ze is fun to be around. [I strongly doubt this]
Have you heard about zir?
Ze talked about zirself. [She?]
It's not too hard to do once you get the hang of it, I just ask that you please respect that. I also enjoy music that most of yall are probably not a fan of (satanic plug deleted) but I hope you don't use that to judge me because I'm actually a nice person. I aspire to be a psychologist in the future because I have a huge fascination with mental illness. I also play soccer. That's about it... thanks for reading

EXAMPLE 2

Hello! Chloe guesses Chloe'll talk a bit about Chloe. I'm Chloe, and Chloe identifes as gender neutral. Chloe prefers not to genderstereotypify so does not use pronouns for example:
Chloe is fun to be around.
Have you heard about Chloe?
Chloe talked about Chloe.
It's not too hard to do once you get the hang of it, Chloe just asks that you please respect that. Chloe also enjoys music that most of yall are probably not a fan of (my chemical romance, fall out boy, bring me the horizon, etc...) but Chloe hopes you don't use that to judge Chloe because Chloe's actually a nice person. Chloe aspires to be a psychologist in the future because Chloe has a huge fascination with mental illness. Chloe also plays soccer. That's about it... thanks for reading

The advantage of using the 2nd approach is that although everyone will still think you're mental at least they will unde stand what you're saying. I hope that is helpful.


__________________
EDIT: you're not asexual as well are you?


.

[polesmokingpervert]

Hello, Chloe! I am non-binary as well, only I use they/them pronouns. I also have a similar music taste to yours, except mine is more fluid (anyway from folk metal to classic rock to electronica to celtic!)

[Des]

Originally Posted by yersiniapestis

Hello, Chloe! I am non-binary as well, only I use they/them pronouns. I also have a similar music taste to yours, except mine is more fluid (anyway from folk metal to classic rock to electronica to celtic!)

Well isn't that wonderful! Maybe they'll have a dating service in hell for homers that are too dumb to check between their legs and see what sex they are.

[polesmokingpervert]

"All gays and transgender people will end up in hell"
Oh no...what will we ever do...surrounded by other gay people?

[Zechariah Smyth]

Originally Posted by yersiniapestis

"All gays and transgender people will end up in hell"
Oh no...what will we ever do...surrounded by other gay people?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by yersiniapestis

"All gays and transgender people will end up in hell"
Oh no...what will we ever do...surrounded by other gay people?

You think hell is a fun place where they give pink tea parties all day long? Let me explain to you how being unsaved trash works when you die.

You're dead. Whether due to your own disgusting sinning or the Lords divine will, you are dead. Instantly your soul begin falling towards the black abyss above Hell. The falling seems eternal as you gather speed and the heat begins to grow. Then you notice a red dot below you growing larger by the second, this is the Lake in the center of Hell. It is the brightest point in Hell therefore it is visible for a great distance. Keep in mind that the farther you fall, the further from Christ you are.

As you gain speed and the flames become apparent you may wonder how you can stop this from happening. The answer is simple. It's too late and you can't, you're doomed. Your soul is damned and it WILL happen. The temperature is now approaching the unbearable limit as your flesh begins to smoulder and ignite and you continue to build speed as you plummet toward the now visible boiling Lake of Fire. You can almost make out individual souls thrashing in the magma with your flaming eyesockets. Soon you will join them, your terror mounts as your screams become gargled with the stench of Hells evil smell. The heat becomes excruciating as you notice your skin peeling away and your bones becoming visible and black. Flaming and screaming in anguish, you splashdown into the acidic brimstone of Satans Lake at around 250 MPH. You are instantly vaporized and reformed as a tormented soul writhing in absolute terror in the deafening depths of the Lake that Burns Eternal. The pain is beyond comprehension as you gnash your teeth so hard they shatter in your mouth. Satan periodically plucks you from the flames to savagely rape you repeatedly and casually tosses you to his infernal minions to rip apart and rape at will, only to be reformed and have this scenario repeated...over and over and over, forever.

Is it still funny mocking our mission to Save your soul? We want you to enjoy Heaven and eternal praise and worship at the feet of our Savior the Lord Jesus Christ.

Unless you are Saved™ by Jesus Christ and His Holy website and favorite church, Landover Baptist, there is no other way to avoid this.
Contact our team of joo accountants at once to set up a Salvation™ guaranteeing tithing schedule.

Surrender you soul to Jesus and
JOIN US.

Praise Jesus!

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Originally Posted by yersiniapestis

"All gays and transgender people will end up in hell"
Oh no...what will we ever do...surrounded by other gay people?

You'll have plenty of Catholics and Mormons to keep you company, too.

[MitzaLizalor]

Originally Posted by polesmokingpervert

Hello, Chloe! I am non-binary as well, only I use they/them pronouns. I also have a similar music taste to yours, except mine is more fluid (anyway from folk metal to classic rock to electronica to celtic!)

So in a paragraph of 52 words, 7 of which are pronouns (includung the only I use they/them pronouns bit) we have I,I, I, yours & mine. They and them only appear in the section announcing them to be the only pronouns ever employed here is the score so far:

0/10 effort
0/10 achievement
0/10 internal coherence
0/10 parsing ability
0/10 making any sense at all
....0....fail

[JustGotSaved]

How about "zit"?

[Faith_Machine]

I guess Chloe's not interested in telling us about zir walk with Jesus.