Mitt Romney has shown young people how "with it" he is by
deploying the thing young people care about most: "nu metal" star Kid rock!
Before you say "
wait, you mean that guy from Woodstock 99 there women were gangraped in the moshpit while he preformed?" let me say that the media has completely blown that incident out of proportion. I have watched footage of that moshpit over and over and I have yet to see anything like gang-rape happening to someone who isn't dressed like they're asking for it.
And before you say
"Isn't Nu Metal so old it's almost (but still not yet) retro?" it's evidence that Mitt Romney is thinking ahead. You see, by the time he's in office, Kid Rock WILL be old enough to be retro!
Now, it's true that Kid Rock's songs are not your typical Christian Rock. He's too creative to simply take a love some and replace "baby" with "Jesus". Like Ted Nugent's "Jailbait" some interpretation is required. (Ie, Ted Nugent when says
"I don't care if you're only thirteen" he means you're old enough to convert to Christianity). Anyone who thinks otherwise simply has a dirty mind.
Could I get some help from the younger, hipper brethren, who can interpret Kid Rock's lyrics for me? Here's two songs I chose at random:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mitt Romney's friend, Kid Rock
Balls In Your Mouth
Cruisin' thru town in my jacked up truck
Eyes open cuz I'm scopin' for a big butt slut
One that I can take straight back to my house
And have her suck my dick and put my balls in her mouth
Now get, get with it looked across the street
I seen a slimmy in a skirt boppin to the beat
So I capped up my 40 threw it under the seat
Rolled up on the freak and I started to speak
But before I sould talk she go grabbed my dick
Licked her lips and started talkin that porno shit
She said look here I know you're Kid Rock
Then whispered in my ear "I wanna swallow your cock"
Well blow me up and then blow me down
Cause I think i just found the biggest freak in town
And now I can't wait to get her back to my house
Set her down on her knees and put my balls in her mouth
Balls in your mouth
Balls in your mouth; "U want my balls in your mouth"
Balls in your mouth
Balls in your mouth; "U want my balls in your mouth"
Back to my crib with no delay
Big grin on my grill and not much to say
Except her yo bitch how's about
I drop my my drawers and put my balls in your mouth
Then it was like straight out of a pron
She dropped to her knees and started blowin my horn
And after that, without no doubt
She opened up wide and put my balls in her mouth
Next the cutie started rubbin my back
Then she put a finger right between my booty crack
So I grabbed her wrist quick and said hold up slut
"Ain't nobody stickin mothin in my butt"
Now right then I knew I had a hoe and a half
And all I could do is sit back and laugh
Stare at the ceiling thinking about
This chick I just met's got my balls in her mouth
Balls in your mouth
Balls in your mouth; "U want my balls in your mouth"
Balls in your mouth
Balls in your mouth; "U want my balls in your mouth"
Balls in your mouth
Balls in your mouth; "U want my balls in your mouth"
Balls in your mouth
Balls in your mouth; "U want my balls in your mouth"
After I busted my nuts I drove her to the cut
She said "I hope you don't think that I'm a big slut,
And please don't tell anyone what we've been thru"
Next day I told the whole pifflein crew
Spread the news thru the whole damn town
And to the chick it musta got back around
So I told the hoe sorry and tried to make amends
But she tried to front me in front of my friends
Runnin off at the lip talking all that shit
That I'm a bitch I'm a prick and that I got a small dick
I just waited till she walked away to shout
"piffle you bitch, u had my balls in your mouth!"
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And some more:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mitt Romney's friend, Kid Rock
Pimp of the Nation
There's only two types of men
Pimps and John's
There's one type of bitch
That's a hoe
God damn hooker this is my world
God damn time to go
Where's my doe
Its startin to snow
All I want is the dollas
I've been a pimp so long ? gahndi had an afro
Pimp, hold my dick like a holster
Girls want a Kid Rock poster
And be able to both stay looked at
The number one pimp with the number one rap
What's up with that
Well I'm a cool cat
With the rap
That's harder than a pimp slap
And because I do so much pimpin
One day I'll probably walk with a limp
And drive a big Lincoln
Wearing an unbuttoned shirt
And be a fifty five year old pervert
But for now rap's the occupation
But watch one day I'll be Pimp Of The Nation
Hoes are rustlic
Daddy's in the house
We got hoes and hoes and hoes
Prices are low
We pratically given the coochie away
Shake the booty
Shake that booty
Its not a ? sell
Its a cake sell
God Damn It
Pimp of the Nation, I could be it
As a matter of a fact, I for see it
But only pimpin hoes with the big tush
While you be left pimpin Barbra Bush
What's up granny
First name Annie
Dried up kunt and a saggin fanny
The highlight of your sex adventures
You wanna suck dicks take out your denchers
A show of life is all I'm givin
Old Pimp young hoes is how I'm livin
But for now rap's the occupation
But watch one day I'll be Pimp Of The Nation
I got all the hookers, God Damn It
I got Sensational Sherry, Juicy Lucy, Nasty Nancy, and Tammy Toe Jam
All of them ready, willing, and able to give the mack daddy the dollas
And all the coochie and kunts that's the sweet part
Hahahaha
I have hoes like horses in a stable
Rich, famous, willing, and able
First off Ja Ja Kubore
Different gore
Is my highest paying whore
And for some hot booty waxin
Fake Ass Latoya Jackson
Rosanne Barr is my newest trick
While on the beach I prune her with my dick
And the bitch who piffles with my cash
Robin Givens I'll rip your ass
Yeah Kid Rock, Kid Rock
Don't piffle with me
I'll be Pimp of the Nation, Bitch
One nation under a pimp
Gettin Paid cuz suckers is pussy whipped
One nation under a pimp
Gettin Paid cuz suckers is pussy whipped
One nation under a pimp
Gettin Paid cuz suckers is pussy whipped
One nation under a pimp
Gettin Paid cuz suckers is pussy whipped
Oh yeah who's pimpin out there
Ah huh
The Midwest is pimpin
Detroit is pimpin
Mt. Clemens is pimpin
Romeo is pimpin
The balck man he pimpin
Katie C he's pimpin
Bo your pimpin
I said Tom he's pimpin
Chuck and Murph their pimpin
D he's pimpin
Boner is pimpin
Ben he's pimpin
Ralph C is pimpin
The yound brothers are pimpin
Elie your pimpin
I said Tony your pimpin
Hey Chicago your pimpin
Mr. Lee your pimpin My pops is pimpin
? D he's pimpin
Jay C he's pimpin
Diesy is pimpin
Dougie Doug is pimpin
D-Nice he's pimpin
Chuck Nice is pimpin
Barry White he's pimpin
New York is pimpin
I said Philly is pimpin
Oakland your pimpin
Too $hort your pimpin
Arseno Hall your pimpin
Eddie Murphy your pimpin
Jive your pimpin
RCA is pimpin
Top Dogg is pimpin
Michael Jackson, Ah you ain't pimpin shit Ah hah hah
Word em up
Word em up
Kid Rock
Kid, Kid Rock
Kid, Kid Rock
And I'm Pimp of the Nation
Hah hah Word
You stay on third base
I'm goin home with the bacon baby
Peace
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I understand "One Nation Under a Pimp" - he's saying that God is a pimp. But what's his pro-family definition of "pimp"?